Life lessons lately have revolved around Boundaries and letting go. School, work and my love life are so out of balance. It's amazing how life can be calm one year and so stormy the next year.
After an exhausting month of trying to juggle everything I realized I could no longer do it. I broke it off with my partner. I turned in what was due for school and set clear boundaries that I would not be able to give an extra energy no matter how much my group wanted to over achieve and I decided to just focus on work.
It has been a very tough time for me emotionally. None of these solutions have been easy for me. I miss my ex all the time. I am so torn between really caring for that person and truly seeing the fact that they could not be there for me like I needed them. It does not help that my ex is super cute and I am sure has no issues moving on. Which of course triggers my issues from my past relationships and causes me to tail spin into the endless question of ... why am I never the one to get picked. But this is not healthy for me. I can't just sit around feeling bad for myself. I have to move forward.
But there is a small part of me that is fighting the tail spin. Everyday I am becoming stronger in knowing that there is a reason or this happening. My Ex could not be there for me or did not want to be there for me. I could not heal their wounds from their past relationships and thus suffered from the bad behavior. I don't really need this person in my life to be happy, successful and feel good. I really liked having them in my life but not at the cost of the damage they were starting to do to me.
So I am healing and focusing on my health. I am still losing weight and getting smaller. I still have a great job. I still have a great community of friends. There is so much to be grateful for. I don't need to focus on the pain. Life is too good for me to focus on the bad.
