Magic Is Happening

Yesterday seemed like a normal day.   I went to work.  I came home.  I did my normal routine.

But something was very different.

After doing my shadow work on Sunday I knew there was a relationship I needed to end.  I did not want too but it was time.  It was hardly a real relationship but it was something that has been in my way for years and it suddenly and swiftly did not feel right anymore.   I attempted to end it over  text but felt a longer email that included how I really felt about the person was a better option.  I have never let this person know my true feelings about them before.   The email was not mean in any way nor was I asking them for anything.  I was simply saying, I like you and you like me and it confuses me because nothing ever happens except we both admit it to each other all the time and I don't want to do this anymore.  This email was met with a text that said, I will stop contacting you.

Fair enough.   This person and I live in very different worlds.  Our ability to express ourselves are not matched by any means.  And I am sure to this man, someone being open and honest scared the hell out of him.  Like I said, we are very different people.  I am not like any woman he has ever dated or met.  I don't need him nor want him to take care of me. I can walk away from him and not look back.
But there is some heartache to the situation because I did like him.  I was willing to look beyond our cultural and social differences and get to know him.   So I was feeling sad.

Meanwhile, months ago when I decided I needed a serious life change I discovered the etsy store Sage Goddess .  I bought a couple of candles from her and some oils.  I also attended a couple of her online telecasts.  This happened at the same time I discovered Magic 17 and I knew life was going to change.   I have been slowly or quickly using both resources to make changes in my life.  Sage Goddess has these amazing oils that I have started to use in my wall art project and I keep a steady stream of her candles coming to my home on a regular basis.  I just feel very drawn to her.

Cut back to last night.   I am feeling sorry for myself and see my biological aunt has posted on facebook about one of my favorite adopted aunties that is an amazing artist. She was my hero growing up.  She lived in a converted school house on a local island in the northwest.   She is also a very witchy lady and  just a straight up Goddess in general.  I quickly friended her on Facebook and sent her a note asking if we could have an art date soon.  I let her know I wanted to return to  my roots of doing art and making products and being a strong independent woman and I could really use some special time with her.   We emailed a bit and I let her know what was happening in my life.

I then took a bath and was reading a story about a woman that while trying to figure out if she was on the right path in life would get little signs from the universe letting her know she was.   This story was about her life purpose but also about her love life.  I finished the story and picked up my phone to find a message from my artist Aunty inviting me to an event being put on by the Sage Goddess.  I said that's so crazy because a couple of months ago I randomly found her and have been super into her products since finding her.  That I even had been using her magical oils in my first art project in almost 8 years.   It turns out they are old friends and my aunty helps with her community.  My Aunty said I was exactly where I needed to be and for the first time in a long time, I truly believe it.

We are going to have a date in two weeks.

I am blown away by all these connections coming together.  Yes.  I am exactly where I need to be.  Yes.  I needed to give up that man.  As much as I liked him,  he was just not right for me.  As soon as I found my aunty and we connected I realized the universe was bringing me the tools I need to bring the life I want to live to me.

I feel like I am coming home.  Growing up I always thought I would like a life just like my Aunty.  I would live in the country and make products to help people with their emotional and spiritual situations.  I would do my art and I would have a great close community I was a part of.  I would travel with my partner and experience the wonders of the world.
I am finally on the path to creating this life and at a level I never thought possible.  I am going to live this life but on a larger scale which is perfect for who I have become.    

Sometimes It's The Little Things

The last two weeks have been all about the little things in life.   I am slowing down in general and able to finally enjoy life again.  I am starting to understand that for me right now it's the little moments in life that are creating magic.

I am working on a new project for a wall in my house and as I go deeper into the process the happier I become.   I have been soaking the thread in magical oils before I string the beads on.  Each strand has a different intention or story woven into them.  The project is far from complete but it's getting closer to what I want it to look like.  I am going to branch out and try new beads and colors once I complete this wall.  I have this feeling that this project is going to become bigger than I realize.  There is something powerful cooking inside me. 

Sometimes I wonder what my neighbors think of me when I open the door to my home.  The scents must fill the hallways when I walk by.   I have so many magical oil projects happenings right now that my home must just breathe beautiful scents.   From the outside my little home looks like a normal place but once you walk into my area, it becomes a different story.   I know this because everyone that comes over remarks about it.  It feels different than any place people have ever been before.

I am so excited for 2015.  Everything is different.  I am different yet I am the same person I was at 17 before my barriers went up and I shut down.  I am returning to myself.   I am wiser, calmer and more focused.  I do not want to lose myself this time.  I am working hard to keep the beautiful vision of my life in balance with where life takes me.  This time around I know I will be able to keep both visions alive and combine them.  Yes, it is possible to be that magical and powerful woman and be in love with someone else with whom I share a life with.  I don't have to give up my power to my partner this time around.  I can still focus on creating for myself and growing my world.   

It feels right this time around.