Breaking My Soul Open

2015 is already life changing.  The year started with a new job and the realization that I needed to break down some barriers in my life.   It's a good change but one that has knocked me off my feet a bit.   I have so many walls built up around me that are no longer serving me.   I want to be free of these barriers and I am working towards letting myself open up more to other people.
It's going to be a process.  I am not the most comfortable person being open to others.  I tend to love my safe little aloof cocoon but I am ready to grow and to put myself out there.  I want to let other people in and connect with them. 

It's going to be an interesting year.  After a difficult 2014, I finally have the energy to go out again.  I am able to go home at night and see friends or work on my various art/writing projects.  Life is no longer passing me by but I am living in full color again.

I am so grateful that I found Rachael Maddox and her magic group.  The magic 17 devotion group is just what I need at this time in life.  I needed a tune up and a group of ladies that could hold the space for me while I realize that it's time to let go of what is not working anymore.  It has only been a couple of weeks that the group has been together but I can already seen the changes in my life.  My intentions are stronger and manifesting at a faster rate.  My energy level is rising and I more peaceful and calm with where I am in life.

And my creativity is coming back!

I am finally making art again and I am writing on a daily basis.  It's so wonderful to be in touch with that side of myself again.  It just adds to the magical feeling I have in life right now.  Everything feels perfect and beautiful.

2015 Is Already Inspiring Me

2015 is already rocking my world.   I am so inspired by the last 48 hours.  I had the best new year’s eves I have ever had.  I spent it alone in my cozy little condo making my altar for the evening, writing, setting my intentions for 2015 and walking under the moonlight in silence.  It was magical. 

This year I did my intention list very differently.  I took inspiration from Danielle LePorte’sbook The Desire Map and I wrote my intention list as core feelings I wanted to feel in 2015 and what/how they would look manifested in my life.  It felt different.  I felt different.  I can’t really explain how powerful this shift of perception for my intention list was but it felt very different.  For the first time ever I could clearly see how my intention list will become my reality.  I didn't feel a disconnect from my shopping list of intentions that I wanted to work towards like I have in the past.  I felt connected to weaving every feeling into each moment of my day.  Every step I take this year, every decision I make, every thought I have will be infused with my core intentions because I could clearly see my road map for the year.  

The other magical thing that happened was for the first time ever I wrote down my big life dream.  I finally admitted to myself what it is I truly want in this life time for myself.  I have always been scared to admit it to myself.  It always felt selfish or just plain crazy or like my dream was so far out of reach for where I was in life that I could never fully admit to myself what I wanted.  But this year I was finally able to put it in my intention book and I am so glad I did.  Because you know what I realized?  It’s not that far out of reach at all.  It’s something I have actually been working towards since I was a young child. 

I am not yet ready to admit it to the public world but I will be this year.  I promise! 

For those of you that have read my blog and followed me for years, you won’t be surprised at all.  Most of you will say, it’s about time!

I then spent my new years day writing and lighting candles again.  I also spent it reading a fiction book and just relaxing.  Truly relaxing and letting go of all the stress and pain of 2014.   I took a long walk last night and realized that I feel the magic of life coming back.  I feel the beauty of life appearing again.   I feel alive. 

This morning I woke up inspired by my Facebook feed.   I recently signed up for a couple of online classes and groups and I could not be more happy that I did.  I love seeing all these spiritual woman connecting together thanks to Facebook and I can’t wait to become a part of the energy of this movement of change.   

Thank you Hannah Marcotti for inspiring me this morning with the courage to admit that moving into the unknown is exciting and scary all at once.  But so worth it!  I can’t wait to sign up for one of your classes and hopefully travel out to RI and attend one of your workshops in person this year!

2015 Is Going To Be About Transformation

I can already start to feel the new energy of 2015.  It's light, cool and crisp.  It's about transformation and self actualization.  It's the feeling of creating your dream home/space/path and being grateful everyday that you get to fully live and be present in that space.

I am spending New Years Eve in my own space this year doing my intention ritual.  I am looking forward to making my space cozy with special treats for the evening and light my special candles.  I am going to present to 2015 because this year marks the start to some intense transformation changes for me.  I am letting go of what I think I should be doing and will be guided by what my soul and the universe want for me.  I am finally ready to embrace this new life and I know it's time.

It will be an interesting year because all of these changes will be subtle and beautiful.  It's going to be a return to my true self.  I will still be working in the corporate world.  I will still be living in my wonderful condo and having dinner with friends.  But on a deeper level, I will be moving towards my new future on a daily basis.

One thing that started this new transformation for 2015 was I signed up for Rachael Maddox's Magic 17 Intensive  course.  I found while looking for some guidance at the end of November.   I knew things in my life needed to change but I had no idea what direction to go in.  None of my attempts to change my job situation were successful so I was just sitting in the moment and waiting.  I found Rachael's course and I was drawn to sign up.  We had a very interesting initial chat on the phone and I said that I wanted to take her course but I knew in the back of my mind that for me to attend her course and be ready for the next stage in my life I would need much more free time than I had at my current situation.  Within 1 week of signing up for her class, I had interviewed and been offered my new job.   I made my dedication to the new life I knew I wanted to move towards but I had no idea how I was going to do within my current situation.  I only knew that my soul would be screaming if I had let this course pass me by.

Sometimes the divine works that way.   I had to be ready to jump off the cliff before I could see the cliff I needed to jump off.  I finally listened to my soul and spirit that had been telling me for a long time my life was not working for them.  And life feels like it is falling into place.  

It's not without it's challenges.  I must admit my hermit side is very strong right now.   I am not getting out as much as I should be.  I have been processing a lot of my history to clear it out of my energy field and this is a painful process to do it when you have people around you but to do it when you are isolating is very hard. 

However, I am so grateful for the chance to do it alone.  I am not sure I would ever fully be able to go this deep and this far into myself if I was not alone.  I feel like this part of the pilgrimage.   I am on my hero path and right now it is isolated and dark but there is finally a light up ahead.  I can see the end of this stage and I am so grateful to be almost out of it.