Resting

This week is a rest week for me.  I need balance.  I need to recharge and settle into the new things I have going on in life.  I know myself well enough to know that when I feel this way, it's time to just relax and put my needs first.

I love that I have gotten to a place in life where this feels very natural and normal.  Self care as a priority feels normal? Revolutionary!  Why was I not taught this at a young age? I think about how much happier I  would all be if I had taken care of my needs and didn't push myself to exhaustion so much growing up and in my 20s. It's hard to explain this to some people because they don't yet understand how good it feels to take care of yourself in this way.

Last night I did some creative projects after a very successful first day on the job.  I slept really well and woke up happy.  I am working hard to trust myself and the Universe and it feels like it is paying off.  Big time!
I also feel so blessed with the women that are coming into my life and providing me with the community and support I always needed and wanted.  I have some of the best girlfriends right now and I could not be preparing to take this large journey without them.  I need a support team of ladies to help me realize this vision on mine and the Universe is bringing me the right people at the right time.

Change is in the air

This whole learning to be successful and stand up for yourself lesson is powerful.  I have never been more uncomfortable in learning a lesson yet rewarded so greatly.    I had no idea that stepping into myself and believing in myself could feel so good.]

I moved jobs this week.  It was a swift and sudden move that was all my decision.  My last manager was the archetype of the personality that has been bullying me for years, especially in work and school situations.   In the last two years, I have finally had the confidence to say no more.  I made this most recent job change because I am done with these types of people. I no longer want to engage in this kind of relationship in my life.
 

I prayed for a new job and twice the universe delivered this opportunity.  I couldn't say no the second time and thus I made a quick move.  And now, damn!  I am happy.  
The universe rewarded me with a raise, a great department and a job where I can be successful.  

Making Space and Standing Up For Myself

I have been changing a lot lately.  

It’s exhausting.  Change is hard.  Changing your career dreams is terrifying especially when you don’t have a very supportive manager.   I went from one wolf to another.  Same wolf- different clothing.  It’s frustrating but I know it’s not me. That’s the positive side to all of this.   I am showing up and doing the best I can.   It’s true when they say that  only 10% of managers are qualified to manage.  I look forward to the day when I am out of the corporate world and working for myself and building my empire.   

I have so much empathy for teenagers and college age kids suddenly.  All the growth I have gone through in the last couple of years has been painful and hard.  I had dinner with a dear friend from college on Wednesday that spends most of the year on the road touring with famous bands.  We were talking about the last 7 years of my life and he reminded me that I have been through some very dark moments and yet, I survived.   We laughed about the time he came to visit when I had just found out about my spine disease and I did not know if I would ever be able to walk again.   I had taken a massive amount of pain meds just to see him and ended up getting really sick at dinner.  Yet here I am 7 years later, still walking.   Sometimes it’s good to have an old friend remind you of how far you have come.

Monday I start a new job!  I was able to transfer to a position that is much closer to where my skill set is and at a higher wage.  I am so grateful to have such a strong and supportive network of former coworkers turned friends turned protective champions.   They all saw my struggles and banded together to get me into something better.  I am staying at my favorite company, just returning to a better division.  I am so excited!

My heart is so full of love and gratitude today. 

It’s going to be a stretch for me as I will need to learn new skills but ultimately it will open so many  more doors for me.  And its allowing me to get my company started just that much sooner. 

This has been a whirlwind of life lessons that I still need to process before I write about them but I will say they all center around power, confidence, strength, purpose and communication.   And now I need a power nap!

Heathly Decisions

Leaving my old job was one of the healthiest decisions I have ever made.

This was my first week at the new job but back to my old company and it was a homecoming I did not expect and one I needed so badly.  I received hugs everywhere I went and  had to make promises never to leave again.   Mind you, this company is one of the largest companies in the world.  But because of my job level and departments, I always work with  many different departments and this leads me to know a lot of people at the company.
I had such a relaxing first week at the new job.  I love my new team and already see where I can make a difference.   Plus, I now have the time and space to focus on my outside work interests.  I have my life back!

I have been working on a new art project for my home.  It's the first art project I have worked on since I stopped making candles. And it's the first home art project I have worked on since 2003 or 2004.  I forgot how much I need creative projects in my life.   I am not done with this piece yet as I want it to be perfect and it's not there yet.  A few more tweaks and it should be close.  It's beautiful, simple, warm and elegant.

I am also working a lot with this energy of the healthy girl style.  What does this mean to me?  It has been rolling around in my head for a couple of years.  I know it's the start of my new project, I am just getting started on what this will look like.

I know this much.... Leaving my dysfunctional job for a better job was Healthy Girl Style!
I did it before the old job could completely ruin me.  I did it before I lost all confidence and acted out.  I did it without letting my life fall apart.  I did it in a way that I owned every step of the process and I was in the power role.

I am ready to take this energy to  my other areas in life.  What will Healthy Girl Style look like when it comes to love, to health, to owning my own business, to my bigger home?  What will it look like in my 40's, my 50's, my 60's?  Once I come to understand what this Healthy girl inside of me looks like and who she is, she will forever be with me.  Healthy Girl Style starts when we are born and never goes away, no matter how old we are.  She is the one that knows us the best throughout our lives.  She is also quiet and will wait for you to be ready for her because once you do, your dreams will come true with power.  

2015 is all about Love, Abundance and Freedom

I accepted a new job offer this week back at my old company and gave notice at my current job. 

I am thrilled.

I have not been this relaxed, grateful and peaceful in a long time.  I will not be returning to the video game industry just yet but at least I am returning to a company I know I like working for.   And a bonus treat is I now get to work from home on Monday's and Friday's which mean I have the time and space to focus on self care and life coach classes.  And I got a raise in the middle of this.  More money, less stress and a manager that doesn't scream at me.

2015 is going to be truly life changing! 

So Grateful

This morning I woke up grateful. 

I have so much to be thankful for in my current life and I need to take the time to remember this.  My health is in good shape thanks to the years of dedication I have spent taking care of myself.   My job is hard but so important to my growth.   I am growing every day in this job.  Sometimes growth is hard and I am pushed to my limits but overall, this is a great place for me to be at the moment.

I am also grateful for all the growth and change that has happened over the few years as I have learn to love myself and accept who I am.  I am living at a level of peace I never knew possible.  No one told me as I was growing up that at some point in my life I would be able to create my dreams and that I would be able to love myself for exactly who I am.  Yet these are exactly the lesson I have learned over the last few years of my life.   These lessons have come with some level of pain and sadness but overall I am so grateful for getting to this place of comfort and ease. 

The other thing I am grateful for is my level of faith.  This level has grown as I have let go of trying to control, understand or dictate what should be happening in my life.  I am now just letting go and letting the universe show me what is next in this journey.   This single action has helped me to become more grateful because I am starting to see the divine work in real time.  People are coming into my life for a reason and leaving for a reason and I am no longer beating myself up for these goodbyes.   I am grateful for these goodbyes because I have also learned that better things are on their way.  

One thing I am super excited for is that I move into my new apartment in less than 1 month.   I am excited, fearful, nervous and relieved.   I can’t wait to get into my own space and just settle into this new phase in my life.   I am excited to see how my life changes by this single action.   I am starting to see how stale my energy has been in the last few years because the Universe has been waiting for me to make this move but I was fighting it this whole time.  Not anymore.  It’s now time for me to change and grow even more.   2014 has been this huge growth year for me.  It has not been gentle but has come suddenly and swiftly.  It is truly the year of the horse for me!  Swift, powerful but also majestic.

Soon I will be hosting dinner parties in my new space, sitting on my comfy new furniture and sitting on my large deck enjoying an evening drink with a good friend.  I will be making candles and potions in my kitchen and really returning to myself in the comfort of my own space.