Sometimes It's The Little Things

The last two weeks have been all about the little things in life.   I am slowing down in general and able to finally enjoy life again.  I am starting to understand that for me right now it's the little moments in life that are creating magic.

I am working on a new project for a wall in my house and as I go deeper into the process the happier I become.   I have been soaking the thread in magical oils before I string the beads on.  Each strand has a different intention or story woven into them.  The project is far from complete but it's getting closer to what I want it to look like.  I am going to branch out and try new beads and colors once I complete this wall.  I have this feeling that this project is going to become bigger than I realize.  There is something powerful cooking inside me. 

Sometimes I wonder what my neighbors think of me when I open the door to my home.  The scents must fill the hallways when I walk by.   I have so many magical oil projects happenings right now that my home must just breathe beautiful scents.   From the outside my little home looks like a normal place but once you walk into my area, it becomes a different story.   I know this because everyone that comes over remarks about it.  It feels different than any place people have ever been before.

I am so excited for 2015.  Everything is different.  I am different yet I am the same person I was at 17 before my barriers went up and I shut down.  I am returning to myself.   I am wiser, calmer and more focused.  I do not want to lose myself this time.  I am working hard to keep the beautiful vision of my life in balance with where life takes me.  This time around I know I will be able to keep both visions alive and combine them.  Yes, it is possible to be that magical and powerful woman and be in love with someone else with whom I share a life with.  I don't have to give up my power to my partner this time around.  I can still focus on creating for myself and growing my world.   

It feels right this time around.

Heathly Decisions

Leaving my old job was one of the healthiest decisions I have ever made.

This was my first week at the new job but back to my old company and it was a homecoming I did not expect and one I needed so badly.  I received hugs everywhere I went and  had to make promises never to leave again.   Mind you, this company is one of the largest companies in the world.  But because of my job level and departments, I always work with  many different departments and this leads me to know a lot of people at the company.
I had such a relaxing first week at the new job.  I love my new team and already see where I can make a difference.   Plus, I now have the time and space to focus on my outside work interests.  I have my life back!

I have been working on a new art project for my home.  It's the first art project I have worked on since I stopped making candles. And it's the first home art project I have worked on since 2003 or 2004.  I forgot how much I need creative projects in my life.   I am not done with this piece yet as I want it to be perfect and it's not there yet.  A few more tweaks and it should be close.  It's beautiful, simple, warm and elegant.

I am also working a lot with this energy of the healthy girl style.  What does this mean to me?  It has been rolling around in my head for a couple of years.  I know it's the start of my new project, I am just getting started on what this will look like.

I know this much.... Leaving my dysfunctional job for a better job was Healthy Girl Style!
I did it before the old job could completely ruin me.  I did it before I lost all confidence and acted out.  I did it without letting my life fall apart.  I did it in a way that I owned every step of the process and I was in the power role.

I am ready to take this energy to  my other areas in life.  What will Healthy Girl Style look like when it comes to love, to health, to owning my own business, to my bigger home?  What will it look like in my 40's, my 50's, my 60's?  Once I come to understand what this Healthy girl inside of me looks like and who she is, she will forever be with me.  Healthy Girl Style starts when we are born and never goes away, no matter how old we are.  She is the one that knows us the best throughout our lives.  She is also quiet and will wait for you to be ready for her because once you do, your dreams will come true with power.  

2015 Is Going To Be About Transformation

I can already start to feel the new energy of 2015.  It's light, cool and crisp.  It's about transformation and self actualization.  It's the feeling of creating your dream home/space/path and being grateful everyday that you get to fully live and be present in that space.

I am spending New Years Eve in my own space this year doing my intention ritual.  I am looking forward to making my space cozy with special treats for the evening and light my special candles.  I am going to present to 2015 because this year marks the start to some intense transformation changes for me.  I am letting go of what I think I should be doing and will be guided by what my soul and the universe want for me.  I am finally ready to embrace this new life and I know it's time.

It will be an interesting year because all of these changes will be subtle and beautiful.  It's going to be a return to my true self.  I will still be working in the corporate world.  I will still be living in my wonderful condo and having dinner with friends.  But on a deeper level, I will be moving towards my new future on a daily basis.

One thing that started this new transformation for 2015 was I signed up for Rachael Maddox's Magic 17 Intensive  course.  I found while looking for some guidance at the end of November.   I knew things in my life needed to change but I had no idea what direction to go in.  None of my attempts to change my job situation were successful so I was just sitting in the moment and waiting.  I found Rachael's course and I was drawn to sign up.  We had a very interesting initial chat on the phone and I said that I wanted to take her course but I knew in the back of my mind that for me to attend her course and be ready for the next stage in my life I would need much more free time than I had at my current situation.  Within 1 week of signing up for her class, I had interviewed and been offered my new job.   I made my dedication to the new life I knew I wanted to move towards but I had no idea how I was going to do within my current situation.  I only knew that my soul would be screaming if I had let this course pass me by.

Sometimes the divine works that way.   I had to be ready to jump off the cliff before I could see the cliff I needed to jump off.  I finally listened to my soul and spirit that had been telling me for a long time my life was not working for them.  And life feels like it is falling into place.  

It's not without it's challenges.  I must admit my hermit side is very strong right now.   I am not getting out as much as I should be.  I have been processing a lot of my history to clear it out of my energy field and this is a painful process to do it when you have people around you but to do it when you are isolating is very hard. 

However, I am so grateful for the chance to do it alone.  I am not sure I would ever fully be able to go this deep and this far into myself if I was not alone.  I feel like this part of the pilgrimage.   I am on my hero path and right now it is isolated and dark but there is finally a light up ahead.  I can see the end of this stage and I am so grateful to be almost out of it.

Peaceful Holiday

I read a quote this weekend from the Desire Map that blew me away

We create wellness or dysfunction in our lives by how we go about getting our needs met.  Pg. 58 The Desire Map

I have been turning this quote over in my mind over the last few days in Joy.   I no longer have dysfunction in my life, just wellness but it explains so much of my past.  And brings  Joy and understanding to how I navigated my youth and why.  

I spent the long weekend in peace.  I did not make many plans because I just wanted to be present with myself.  I am working on some writing projects and I wanted to spend my weekend exactly how I wanted to spend it.   It was the best weekend I have had in a long time.  I feel refreshed and centered. 

2015 marks a turning point for me in so many ways.  I can feel this big change happening and I have no idea how to explain it.  It’s like nothing I have ever felt in my life.  The only other time I felt close to this way was when I moved to NYC at 21.  Life is about to change in a very big way and I am so ready for this change.  It has already started.  The closer I get to 2015 the further away from the mess and darkness I feel.  I am excited to see what will happen.  

So far the change has included:

-          A loss of 30 pounds

-          A cozy new home

-          Blonde hair

-          A sense of peace and confidence