Taking care of myself

After almost a month of pushing myself to celebrate my new life, I decided it was time to just detox and slow down.  I spent last week eating super healthy and not drinking (not that I really drink that much).   I took the weekend to just focus on being present and staying healthy.  I went to the farmers market and cooked all day long while cleaning the kitchen and throwing a lot of stuff away.  I just focused on what I was doing and staying positive.

It feels good to have little stress in my life.  And it feels good to be moving forward.  There has been so much pain and emotions over the last two years and I finally feel like they are going away.   I am gearing up to make a new vision map that has no connection to the past.

Next week I am off to San Fran for a couple of day and then I have a couple of days of stay-cation.  I am going to just relax and let go. I have fun things plan but I also just have a lot of alone time planned.  I just want to decompress and come back to center.

For the first time since last year, I am questioning my gym routine.  I don't see my trainer until 7:30 at night and this leaves me exhausted on Tuesdays and Thursdays.   I love my trainer but being at the gym that late on a Monday might not jive with my new job and schedule.   I don't know what to do.  I don't want to give up my routine but I also can't let it affect my job.  

I am going to just sit with these feelings until I know the right next step.

  

Taking a vacation

In two weeks I will be taking one of my first vacations for 2014.   I am going to the Bay Area to attend a conference for fun and I will be seeing someone special.   It feels good to be able to book myself a room in any hotel I want in San Francisco proper and to be able to pay for everything with ease.   It such a change from my past and one that I welcome.
I am also taking some time to just sit still and alone.  I am dealing with this strange month by hibernating and cleaning up my life.   I know it's a funky time astrology wise and that a lot of my friends are in serious pain and suffering.  My heart goes out to them.  I feel slightly uneasy because for once my life is going along with ease while so many others are stumbling.   I feel like all the pain and suffering I had to deal with to  face myself and my issues happened over the last few years so that now I can coast for a few moments and watch my dreams finally unfold.

I started my new job and I could not be happier.   I know there is unease in my department and that my new manager might be a little kooky.  But I intend to stay positive, do my job and when it is time for me to exit, I will leave with ease and return to the gaming world.  I am so much happier to be out of my old job.  It's weird.  It's not like I could not do my old job, I could.  But it just was not a good fit for me.   Something about it made me unhappy everyday I had to be in the office.   Now I wake up in the morning happy and content.

One thing that has been a little different lately is my dreams are much more vivid that they used to be.  I feel like I am processing a lot of internal issues through my dreams.   I am waking up remembering them with messages for myself.   This morning I woke up at 2 am and said out loud - I deserve love and a successful life.  This seems like such a simple message but it is one that has been very far from being something I think about myself.  I don't know how to explain it other than it feels like something shifted last night.  In a really good way.  Something is different today.  I am different.  I feel different.  I feel like for the first time in a very long time, I am seeing myself as the amazing person I truly am.

Intentional Journaling

I was talking last night with someone at a coffee shop about why I journal.  At this stage in my life I have about 30 journals dating back to 1996 when I started to write everything down.   He asked me why I still keep at journal after all these years and I replied because if I write something down it usually comes true.   It may not come true right away but as I move into my next stage in life, I am starting to realize the power of intentional journal writing.    My new job is thanks to a plan that I developed 2 years ago which is my 5 year plan.   I decided to go to school for 1 year to gain new marketing skills.  Then my goal was to get a full time job and leave the consulting world.   Now my next phase is starting.    I can already see the universe working behind the scenes to create the next step.  

I am not ready to share the next couple of phases in my plan because they are very personal and close to my heart.    But I can feel they are close and the best thing to do is to live and just allow the magic to happen.  When I push too hard for something it never works out.  But when I sit back and focus my energy on allowing the universe to bring me the right thing.  Something always comes my way in a very easy and divine way.