In two weeks I will be taking one of my first vacations for 2014. I am going to the Bay Area to attend a conference for fun and I will be seeing someone special. It feels good to be able to book myself a room in any hotel I want in San Francisco proper and to be able to pay for everything with ease. It such a change from my past and one that I welcome.
I am also taking some time to just sit still and alone. I am dealing with this strange month by hibernating and cleaning up my life. I know it's a funky time astrology wise and that a lot of my friends are in serious pain and suffering. My heart goes out to them. I feel slightly uneasy because for once my life is going along with ease while so many others are stumbling. I feel like all the pain and suffering I had to deal with to face myself and my issues happened over the last few years so that now I can coast for a few moments and watch my dreams finally unfold.
I started my new job and I could not be happier. I know there is unease in my department and that my new manager might be a little kooky. But I intend to stay positive, do my job and when it is time for me to exit, I will leave with ease and return to the gaming world. I am so much happier to be out of my old job. It's weird. It's not like I could not do my old job, I could. But it just was not a good fit for me. Something about it made me unhappy everyday I had to be in the office. Now I wake up in the morning happy and content.
One thing that has been a little different lately is my dreams are much more vivid that they used to be. I feel like I am processing a lot of internal issues through my dreams. I am waking up remembering them with messages for myself. This morning I woke up at 2 am and said out loud - I deserve love and a successful life. This seems like such a simple message but it is one that has been very far from being something I think about myself. I don't know how to explain it other than it feels like something shifted last night. In a really good way. Something is different today. I am different. I feel different. I feel like for the first time in a very long time, I am seeing myself as the amazing person I truly am.
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