I have the keys!

On Friday I picked the keys up to my new office!

It was very exciting for me. I started to move boxes Friday night and will keep moving in for the next two weeks. Hopefully by the 20th I should be all unpacked and ready to have guests. I am so thrilled by this office and it's location. I am right on a bike path that connects to two great places so I can walk to either one. And it is next to a train track which means that I get to hear my favorite sound. The train whistle.

Also this weekend I spent an evening with an old friend in Olympia I had not seen in months. It was a good time. We watched some soccer, we watched some BBC and mostly we talked about life. I am hoping to convince him to move to Seattle so we can hangout more as Olympia is no longer my home. We shall see. All I know is that it was great to spend time with someone that makes me laugh.

Cleaning House

I have been sorting through old boxes from College. It is amazing to see all the letters people wrote to me and all my old pictures. What a magical time in life. I wish I could have enjoyed college more. It was hard for me to be away from my home and Seattle. I went to college in the Midwest so I really tended to feel out of place compared to the West Coast. I also had a close knit group of friends in Seattle and a boyfriend that I loved. So compared to most people that came to college to feel free, I felt uneasy and sad. I did not want to let go of my old life. I wanted to run back to it. But times are different now. I want to run towards the future while being completely present in the moment. I do not long to be anywhere but where I am at this moment. That feels good.

I also want to state that I love throwing out, donating and basically getting rid of everything I can in life. It feels so cleansing and fruitful to get out the old and let the new come in!

Thoughts for the Day

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other one is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Never lose your childlike enthusiasm and things will come your way
- Federico Fellini

These are two quotes that touch my heart today. I pick up the keys to my new candle studio next Monday. I am in such awe over this whole experience. Never would I have guessed that life would turn out this way. But you know what, it all makes sense. It is all in divine timing and order. I feel like a huge ball of positive energy and love towards the universe right now.
I keep thinking about what someone has been telling me for the last six months, that I was going to need a bigger space for my candles. I could never even think about what he was saying because it felt too far away or not in line with reality at the time. I just kept saying.. Ok.... Yeah Right......
He also kept talking about a larger company ordering a ton of candles.
To this again I thought.... Ok.... Yeah Right....

Both things are happening faster than I could even dream of. In two to three weeks I will be announcing my exciting news. In two weeks I will be moved to Seattle. In two weeks life will be new and better.

Odessa's Herbals is Moving!!!!!!

Yesterday I signed the lease for the new candle making space in Ballard.
This means Odessa's Herbals is moving to the big city; Seattle, WA.

I am so excited about this space. It is in my favorite hood. Close to my family, coffee shops and so much more. Plus, Ahmi will be with me all day long as I make candles!

I hope to take some pictures once the studio is all set up and even have a studio warming party! It will be such a treat to have this space and enough room for my wonderful couch and chairs which will allow for visitors at any time.

So starting August 1st the candle company will be up and running with full production happening. Email me any orders or questions. Also, if you want to stop by the shop let me know! I can't wait to share this wonderful space!

Caravaggio

When I was in high school I became obsessed with the Italian painter, Caravaggio. His use of light and dark colors, images and themes made me weak in the knees. I studied his work, talked to as many professional artists as I could about him and spent many an afternoon day dreaming about his life.

Finally when I was in college I had the opportunity to travel to Rome. The whole week we were there I wanted to see as many Caravaggio's as I could. Forget the Vatican. Take me to the darker side of Religion. I wanted to see this man's work up close. I spent hours in front of his work seeing new things appear out of no where after looking at his paintings for over an hour. He work is truly amazing!

Last night it was hot in Seattle. I had a lovely conversation for over an hour on the phone with a good friend and I was feeling restless. I could not sleep. Talking to this friend makes me giddy and full of energy. I wandered down stairs to see what my father was doing and noticed that Caravaggio was on TV. This is when I discovered the PBS Show, Simon Schama's Power of Art. What a wonderful treasure this TV show. He adds new depth to Caravaggio's work and life. I was transported back to high school, sitting in the living room, watching TV with my father and talking about art. It was a great feeling. I realized what an amazing family I have. My father and grandfather also encouraged me to be interested in art, culture, history and politics. I have a rich library of experiences and memories thanks to these two men.

I am so excited to see the rest of the Series.
If you get a chance, please watch this show. It is a real treat for any art lover or history buff.

Back in the comfort of the city

It's amazing how much better I feel in Seattle. I really have changed so much in the last two months and I embrace this new person with love and acceptance.

The book writing is starting up next week. My good friend Jennifer and I are going to start meeting on a regular basis to put the purposal together. I have many of the chapters outlined and the intention work already written down. This is going to be so much fun.

I also have almost secured a new work studio for my company. This has been a huge relief to finally find a place where I can expand and grow with my company. I am still in the negotian phase of getting my exciting news out in the public but let's just say, it is a huge thing for my company.

Ahmi and I have another adventure coming up this weekend and it includes a lake, swimming and meeting new people and seeing old and dear friends. This will be much needed relief from this heat wave happening out on the west coast.

Gain

So today I am making candles like a machine. They are turning out perfect and I really feel in the flow of life.
I have also started to pack the house I once lived in up.
New year, new life, new home, new me.

I keep thinking about Diving Timing and how perfect the world is no matter how much pain I am in. There is a reason for all of this turmoil. I just have to let life happen and discover what the reasons might be.

I am fighting the sad and lonely side of me. Well, not fighting but saying hello and promising that soon we will not have to return to this place that hurts me. I am talking to these parts of my personality and assuring them that we will not make another mistake like this one. Don't get me wrong, I will make plenty of mistakes in life. But I have also worked very hard to learn what went wrong this time so I can avoid it in the future.

This always makes me feel better. It is amazing to know that I have a wonderful life ahead of me and it is totally open.

I have a lot of orders coming up in the next month. I was going to wait until September to start the candles up again but I missed it. Candle making is such a huge part of me that I can not turn away from it. Especially since it helps so many people. So I have gained that part of my life back. I have gained confidence and strength and I have gained my own respect for myself and my future.

Loss

I seem to have forgotten how to do the one thing I truly love to do.
Well, maybe forgotten is a harsh word but this weekend I need to make a large number of candles for a wedding and it is not going too well.

Maybe it is being in a home I once lived in but no longer feel connected too. Maybe it is all the loss I have experienced in the last year that has me feeling tipsy in life.
Maybe it is the fact that I have not made candles in over two months and I realized this week that I truly missed it. Or maybe it is the fact that I am trying hard to sit in my Yin energy and that is not a familiar feeling for me.

But I feel like a stranger in my life and in my body.
I have lost over 20 pounds. I am now starting to have to wear clothes that I bought in 2000. Good thing I kept them. I feel younger than my age and more unsteady than I should in most areas of my life.

Except for my company and my work. For the first time in my life I am truly happy going into the office everyday, then coming home and working on my projects every evening. No time is wasted for I have too much to do and the desire to see it all manifest. So this is my one area of comfort. My one calm area. The one thing I can depend on. Except of course for myself. Because no matter what changes on the outside, inside I have everything I need in life. In me is a strength and love that is so strong I will never feel alone again.

So I am learning to sit inside myself and only focus on being a strong and powerful woman. This is hard since I am so used to doing, being, changing, working, moving, anything that ends in ING and requires movement of some sort is where I have spent the last six years. But now I am stepping back into my strength and just being. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just being totally present in the moment.

First Steps

Last night I went to my sisters house in the evening after work.
She was on the computer and I was cutting some cheese for a snack. We were talking and laughing and not looking at Dylan (my nephew). I suddenly look down at him to witness him taking his first two steps.

The look on his face was so amazing. It was a look of excitement, fear, concentration and experiencing the unknown. He fell down and then starting clapping at himself. He was so happy to have taken his first steps. I luckily caught him in the act early enough to tell my sister to look down at him so she could see it as well.

I am so proud of this little guy.
He also gave me two of the biggest kisses on my cheek last night.

I feel like Dylan right now. I feel like I am finally taking my first steps in life. I have so much in common with my nephew right now. When I get to see him he brings all my joy out in life. We are on the same ride in this life and I could not have asked for a better companion.

Astral Weeks

My heart is a flutter with love right now.
Love for my life, love for the summer, love for my friends and love for love.
I feel like Van Morrison's Astral Weeks album. The new world is new and I am a young lover experiencing life again.

My weekend get away was amazing. Just what I needed to wake up and bring back all my positive energy. Ahmi my dog, was the perfect guest. She loved her hosts and we took her with us everywhere we went. She was so calm and peaceful.

I have many more adventures coming up in the next two months.
I am feeling such a creative burst of energy that I can hardly sit still. I recently found a novel I started writing when I was 14 and driving across the country. I have started to work on that again along with my other writing I do on a daily basis.

I have also really been opening my heart up more to those around me. I am working on living a more authentic life and that means allowing myself to open up to people more. It feels amazing to really connect with people and be totally present in our conversations. Every time I do this I can feel my heart opening more and more.

My coworker today noted that my true self was starting to come out. The happy, energetic, people loving and positive side that loves to be busy, to spend time with people and to be creative on a daily basis. She said she was really excited to see me coming back into my own world and filling her days up with love and positive energy.