Time for a change

I want to change my life.  For the last four years I have worked towards the goal of marketing manager and now that I am here, I realize this is an out of date dream.  I don’t want to be a marketing manager for products that I care nothing about.  I don’t want to work in a corporate environment that is soulless.  I don’t want to do a job just to support myself while I am depressed most of the time.

I want to help people.  I want to be a part of something bigger than convincing you to upgrade your phone every year.  I don’t care what phone plan you buy.  I don’t care what credit class you are in.   I want to inspire you to realize how wonderful this life is and how incredible you can feel by being healthy and putting self-care first.   My heart longs to connect with people and share this journey with them.  I want people to love themselves and love others.  I want happiness and support to surround me.   

It’s been a hard realization to have lately because I have worked so hard to get where I am at.  I need my level of salary to continue on my journey but I also need to balance my non-working hours to include time to move forward to my new dream.   I don’t want to give up on the idea that I can do what I love and make the level of money I am making now.  So I need to take some time to really think, write and visualize how I can make this happen.  

I am also in this in-between space in life where I am waiting to move into my apartment so I can start planning and putting my dreams first.   Until I can move, I am on hold for everything in life.  This is so frustrating because I just want to move forward.  I want to change my energy and grow and I can’t do that where I am at right now.

And my heart is starting to close due to recent experiences.  I don’t want to attract unavailable people anymore and yet, they are still coming my way.   I am getting better about spotting them earlier and walking away.  But I am ready for some new people that are available!

Feathering My Nest

This weekend I spent time viewing my new apartment again and buying items for it.   It was a simple yet powerful step for me.   I am feathering my nest and am intent on bringing in only items with positive energy.  No item will come into my apartment from my old relationship.  I am determined to start fresh and really set up this apartment exactly how I want it.   This makes my heart sing just thinking about it.

In the past spending large amounts of money would make me very nervous but not this time.   I am moving forward knowing this is the right next step.   I am finally able to walk away from my past in a way I have not been able to do in the last 5 years.   I have been reading up on Feng Shui and really thinking about my space and my apartment as a living space.   How will I work with this energy to bring in positive things?  I have always been interested in Feng Shui and now that I am single and will have my own space, I can do exactly what I want with it.   This is such a big and welcomed change for me. 

I am preparing for my move by living as-if.   I am preparing my space for the life I intend to create.  I have never felt stronger in my ability to co-create this life.   I am working on getting super focused on what I want my whole life to look like.  This means I am reevaluating my current career path and lifestyle choices.  In some ways I feel that I am off the path I want to be on.  This job is amazing in that it provides the money I need to make big changes, but this job is not feeding my soul enough.  So what does my life look like if I dream big?  What are my new goals now that I have created so many of my past goals?   I know change is coming and I want to do as much as I can to set my intentions for this new wonderful life.  I also want to just maintain what I have right now as I lay the foundation down for my next change.  There has been so much fire in my life since my Saturn returning that I am ready for some easy signs from the Universe.