This year has been one of the most challenging years I have
ever been dealt. Sure, it was not as
hard as being bed ridden and facing an insane amount of medical debt. But this year was hard emotionally. I faced a lot this year, normally I think that people are almost only
good. This year I was shown many
different people that deep down were just not good. I don’t like to use the word evil often but
this year I met some truly evil people.
People that went out of their way to take other people down.
But as the year comes to a close I am working on forgiveness
and release. Yes, I dealt with some dark people this year. Yes, it was a
challenging year. But I also grew this
year. I truly changed. I dealt with all the darkness this year with stability,
grace and did not sabotage myself in the process. I became flexible in way I never knew
possible and I kept my faith that the right thing would happen. And the right thing almost always did
happen. The places where I can’t see it
yet, I know it will prove itself.
So as the year comes to a close, I am looking to 2014 and
what I want to focus on and where I want to set my intentions. So far my list is focused on my health and
happiness. Starting in 2014 I am going
to move towards a clean diet. I am going
to make my food for the week and pack my lunch every day. I am going to continue to meet with my
trainer and become stronger . I am also going to be more protective over
myself and my time. I have started to
realize that I am protective of everyone but myself. There are some people and situations that I
have allowed in my life are no longer acceptable. As I have grown in confidence and self-love
this year, I have realized that I no longer want to just “put up” with stuff
anymore. I want to live in happiness and
love. I refuse to be someone that “puts-up”
with anything. If something is no longer
working or never worked, then I will walk away. This always felt wrong to me when I was
younger because I felt like I was giving up. But as I get older and realize that I have
choices in my life. I can choose light
over darkness. And I can walk away from
things, people, situations that are no longer positive for me and that is OK.
I feel at peace as
2013 comes to a close. For the first time in years I have agreed to go to a
party on New Year’s Eve instead of staying home. I am honoring myself and my intention list in other
ways. I know it will be a better year because I am
in a better place.
The last two months have cleared a lot of people and
situations out of my life. It’s been an
interesting end to year. I heard from
my Ex after 6 years. It was not exactly
the email I wish I would have received but I also had gotten to a place in life
where I did not need to receive anything from this person. I had forgiven myself and him a long time ago
and truly had moved on. He has not been
in my thoughts at all these last few years.
But the email was important to him so I witnessed it for him. And I let him know there was still love in
my heart for him. I had two friends
from high school change in ways that were no longer compatible with me any
longer. There is no fault in either of
those situations. I am just searching
for something deeper, more stable and more giving. I let these people go with love. The job I loved and worked my ass off for went
away this year. But something better
came in its place.
So many endings will lead to new beginnings.
This makes me very excited for 2014!
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