Painful realization

What happens when you have lost faith in someone you love?

I am suffering from this dilemma currently. It is a family relation and feels so much more painful than anything I have ever experienced before. I know I must speak my truth about the situation but right now, I am unable to speak. I am taking time and really working on understanding my feelings. This situation runs so much deeper than just the surface decision that was made. This situation has pierced me to the core of what I thought was a blood bond that would never be broken. And yet, six years later.... I am in pieces and have no more to give. I tried to remain quiet and helped as much as I could but in the end I have ignored myself and suffered from my own actions.

I have been very busy in the studio making candles and just being compassionate towards myself. I read Alice Hoffman's book "The Third Angel" . It was beautiful. I was not able to related it to my current situation and it was not as magic filled as some of her past books but I cherished it and stayed up one night reading it all night long. I am about to start "The Laws of Harmony" by Judith Ryan Hendricks.

One interesting note is that Blue Herons have come into my life in a way that has never happened before. They are every where I look lately. From books to car rides to the park up the street from my house. I am working on trying to understand why this animal that has never been around me before has suddenly appeared in the last week more than it ever has in my whole life.