Thursday, July 11, 2013

Returning home

I have been away from my home for almost a month now.  My great uncle died in June and since I already had a vacation planned, I came out early and just stayed.  This has been one of the most challenging decisions I have made lately.
There is no comfort in the loss of my routine.  I feel stuck out here because I am not moving forward back in Seattle.  I watch people that I loved moving forward in their lives and I feel helpless.  I am a mixed bag today because part of me wants to return home and move forward, but a larger part of me wants to stay on the East Coast and just ignore my life.

I am fighting very hard not to sabotage my life because I am emotionally out of balance right now.   It's an old habit that is not going away.  I am working hard to fight it but some days I am weak.   Hopefully the comfort of my routine will save me before I mess up too much.  

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