Something Is Happening

I got sick this weekend.   I always hate getting sick on the weekends because I feel like I miss my chance to have fun.  Of course, I hate getting sick during the week because I end up missing work so I think the lesson here is I hate being sick!

I came into work today but I am going to leave early.  I feel awful.  I am too weak to even say good morning to anyone and I feel like I might throw up.  I hate missing work but this is just silly for me to have come in.

My weekend was pretty calm.  I did get weak and text my most recent ex.  I miss this person in my life so much.  It’s weird because sometimes our relationship was difficult but there was something about this person that I really connected with.  We had fun together and had so much in common.  Even now when I text them about video games, we are always playing the same games even though we don’t talk much anymore.   I wrote this person to say, sometimes I really miss you in my life.  They wrote back and said, I can come visit someday.    I am not sure how to take this.

I did tour my new apartment this weekend.  While I love how large my deck is, I worry it’s not big enough for me.   What if I need more space?  Does having a deck for my dog take priority having a large living space to entertain friends?   I am going to try and make it work for 1 year but ……… I am nervous.

I know these feelings are my commitment issues coming up.  And that this apartment will be fine for what I am looking for this year.   But I am still scared.

So I am sitting with these feelings.  I still have two months until I move into the building so I can keep looking.  But I know this building is supposed to be where I move.   For some reason fate is putting me into this apartment complex.  I ended up renting this apartment without even realizing it.   I have been applying for other apartments but nothing has panned out.   For some reason unknown to me, I am supposed to be living in this apartment.  I just wish I knew why.  All in good time.

There is actually a lot of interesting fate things happening but I am so weak and sick still that I am having trouble writing them down.   It’s an interesting time right now!