I have been spending the mornings in my greenhouse. It's quickly becoming my favorite part of the day. I check on the plants, talk to them and play music while Lollie sleeps in her bed.
Today we are listening to Nat King Cole.
There is such a peace in my heart when I am out in the garden. I hope everyone finds this feeling in life. It's incredibly.
I have to admit, I missed Blogger. I love this format so much. I started my first blog in 2000 and I am still at it!
This weekend has been filled with friends. It feels good to see people again but its also a little strange. I forget how long it has been since I have seen anyone. So much to catch up on and go over. I love seeing everyone but I have to say, I get exhausted when its over. Like fall asleep at 5 o'clock at night tired. It's a good muscle for me to use since sales will start up again in a few months and that means many more social interactions.
It's also interesting to see my vulnerability show up when I am with people. I can no longer pretend that people don't hurt me. I used to think I was immune to caring but now I realize, that I just carry the pain around. So instead, I am showing my vulnerable side so that people know I do care and I do get hurt by things they say or do. I am not immune, I am just used to living with trauma and pain. Which I think is one of the things that caused me to become so sick. Let the healing begin!
I am off to a birthday breakfast with friends. Then to pre-sprout more flowers for the spring time. I am quickly coming up to my travel day so I need to get as much done as I can while I am gone. That way, the flowers will wake up and be ready for pots when I return.
Have a beautiful day!
It snowed last night and I woke up to a white morning.
It was not a ton of snow and should be gone soon. It made for a fun morning of heating up the greenhouse and prepping new trays for some anemones and ranunculus. Lollie really enjoys the snow so she got to zoom all over.
I checked on some of my prize dahlias and they are doing great! I might even have some rare ones for sale this spring. (shhhh.... I'm aleady getting messages)
I am about to spend three weeks away from the city farm and I think it will be good for me but always scary. I haven't left my house much since getting diagnosed with cancer. It's always stressful for me to leave my doctors for very long. But I am long overdue for an East Coast adventure and I will have Lollie with me which is going to help my anxiety.
So until I leave, I will be with dirt under my nails as I work in the greenhouse. I will then clean up and visit with friends and family. I am keeping my bubble very small this year. Still living like my life depends on it.
I am ready to send this year off!
It has taken me a while to figure out my next steps. Healing from cancer is so much harder than they tell you. It's like nothing I have ever had to recover from. I am not the same person I was 3 years ago. I am just not.
I do like this new person I am becoming. It has taken three years of simply living for her to start to emerge. I can see her daily now. Working her way through the challenge of cancer to figure out her reason for being here. This work has connected her to the earth in a very close way.
My intentions for 2023 are going to revolve around how I can support myself now that I have found something new to do. I want to find meaningful classes and education to support my love of flowers and working in the yard. Maybe a landscape designer? Maybe I will move to England for a few years to study landscape design the UK version. I want to learn so much about how to create the most beautiful garden that I can. I am excited about this goal. I feel like I am ready to try something new. See where it takes me.
Until then, you can find me in my greenhouse. Potting up flowers that I will be selling in the new year.
