The summer I spent in bed

This is quickly becoming the summer I spent in bed. My back condition is unfortunately getting worse by the day. I have endless doctor appointments and I know that I will be up and running soon enough but until I know exactly which surgery I am going to have, I have to lay in bed and just wait.

I am starting to get a little bored so I just got a new library card and I have been picking books to read. Every night I still am able to get up and take a small walk but it is getting harder and harder. Today I realized that for every decade I have been alive, I have had to have major surgeries. One was due to sickness but mostly now it just revolves around my back. I have never broken a bone but I have more scars than most people do. Some people get all the luck. I just keep thinking about what it would be like if I had this condition 100 years ago. Would I have survived being bed ridden? How did people survive pain that only the strongest pain killers on the market can help tone the pain down. That's right, my pain is so intense that it never disappears with the pain killers but numbs the pain enough that I can sleep for almost two hours without waking up.

I have been forced to slow down and rethink a lot of things in my life over the last few weeks. In many ways it has brought back part of my youth where all I wanted when I grew up was to live on a farm, grow herbs and really connect with nature. I wanted to help heal people and help them find meaning in their lives. This summer I am being forced by the universe to realize that I do not need to work a corporate job and have a company to live a healthy life. My desire to be successful is not about money, cars or material goods. My desire to be successful stems from wanting to live an authentic life, share my gifts to help people and be my own boss. All of this health stuff has shown me that the life I was living only 5 months ago was very out of balance and I now have time to bring balance back into my world.

So there are many positive parts about this journey. I wish that I did not have to get surgery and that I could move around pain free but I am also really happy to have such a wonderful group of friends and family that have provided amazing support and love.

In the next few weeks I will be having a fund raiser - studio sample sale - party for Odessa's Herbals.
I am lucky enough to have health insurance but I am also facing tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills once I have made it through all the operations. If you have any candles you would like to order for the sample discount please shoot me an email.
I greatly appreciate all the support and friendship that so many have shared with me.