Coming back to Life

What a trying time it has been lately.
Life has been dealing some pretty heavy lessons lately. These lessons become larger and mean more than when i was younger. But i like how I have been dealing with these lessons. I am growing up and learning to turn all these blows into positive life changes that I can be proud of.

After almost three months of being bed ridden experiencing the worst pain I have ever felt in my body and becoming totally helpless and unable to function without the love of friends and family. My first doctor told me I need a very servere surgery that would have left me a year to recovery from and more complications to arise from the surgery, as I get older. I do not cry often but just the thought of this surgery caused me to cry and become fearful for my body and life. I never have felt as weak and vulnerable as I did when thinking about getting this surgery.

However, after waiting a month to see the best back doctor in Seattle and learning more about my condition or disease that is affecting the disks in my back, I feel like I have been given a second chance. With the guidance and information that this docotr has shared with my family and myself, I am sure that I can stop this disease from becoming worse and I maybe be able to reverse it a little bit. No surgery required right now and maybe none in the future. So for the next six months or longer, I am going for a total life makeover. I will be meeting with Physical Therapists, accupuncterist, Yoga and Pilate teachers and other people that can guide me to a healthier lifestyle and mindset. I feel like I have truly been given a gift for a second chance and I do not want it to pass me by. So my candles and my body will be the only two things I will be focusing in life for now.

After this whole experience life seems a lot faster and fragile then before. I feel my worldview has opened up and I see that my little spot in this universe is so small and yet touches so many. Oneday you could wake up where everything has changed from what it used to be, but this is not a bad thing. This little area, my spot in life is mine to create, change, evolve and learn to love. Like a garden I must tend too my spot and make sure that it is healthy.

I am looking forward to my annual trip back to the North East. I can't wait for the fall to arrive. I think it maybe my favorite time of year, actually thats not true. Maybe it is just my new mindset but the rythem of each season makes my heart warm. Fall is when my little nephew will start school for the first time ever. Fall is when production at Odessa's Herbals starts to heat up. Fall is when the best feeling in the world is a warm cup of tea, my favorite cashmere sweater and a walk with Ahmi.

Speaking of walks with Ahmi, I should get outside and give my body a nice evening walk with my father and dog.