Today is a start

I don't know if it is the new hair cut that is making all my lady friends want to do make overs on me but something has changed. Every woman I know is spending a lot of time putting make on me and dressing me up.
And for the first time ever I am enjoying it!
I am learning so much about bringing the female energy back into my life. I am soaking up all the wisdom I never learned and I truly enjoying the new healthier and what I think is more beautiful me coming out!

Today was a bit of a turn around day. I took extra vitamins. I ate only an energy bar for lunch at work. I came home and had a raw arugula, red pepper and cashew dip salad and now I am about to go running for the first time in almost two weeks!
I know I won't get far but it's a start. 22 days to build a habit and 5 days to kill it. Well I am about to be 21 days closer to this becoming a habit again. I can really feel the difference between what life was like when I was working out everyday and now and I have to admit. I like life a lot more when I was working out all the time. I felt so much better!
Plus, I am hoping this extra dose of vitamins and raw foods will kick this cold out of my system. I do not want to be sick anymore!

Tomorrow I am going out for a ladies night with some of my best girlfriends. I can't wait!
I have my outfit picked out. It is a garnet hill dress and garnet hill sweater with knee high boots. It will be very feminine and I can't wait to try my new make up!

Crazy Weather

Lucky for me this week the weather has been so crazy I have even more of an excuse not to work out!
Actually... It's not really lucky. I am still sick. I can feel my good habits slipping away as I get further away from working out on a daily basis. I want so badly to work out like I was a month ago but I am still sick and weak. I finally will be receiving health insurance this week so I can go to the doctor. Hopefully they will be able to help me because this cold is getting me down!

I did get an amazing haircut this weekend and had a make over yesterday. When I look in the mirror I don't see myself. I see a better, healthier and happier person than I have been in years. Now I just need to take all that energy and get back on my workout plan and I will be very happy.

I really hope I feel better soon!

Work is going really well. I was just given the green light to take on a project that I am very excited about and it will give me a lot of exposure in many departments at my company. I am so lucky to be exactly where I am right now!

Working it out

Last night it snowed here in the Northwest, except not in my neighborhood. This means I am the only person at work so far this morning. It's actually really nice and quiet. I have been getting a lot of work done.

Physically I am finally starting to feel a little better. I took the whole weekend last weekend and most of this week off from doing anything but resting. I turned the heat up in my house and just took it easy. I feel better but am not ready for working out yet. I am bummed. 21 days to build a habit and 5 days to crush it. Well my working out habit has been crushed!!!!! I need to get my schedule back.

I am waking up 25 minutes earlier in the morning so I can start transferring my workout time from night to morning. Hopefully this will help me get motivated once I am done being sick.

The theme of this week is taking care of my business. I have had some issues come up from the past that I need to deal with. It's not fun but it's something I have been putting off for years so now I must just bite the bullet and realize that this next year is about me getting my whole life back on track. Anytime a illness takes someone down so hard like I expereinced. It takes a couple of years to get life back on track. I have learned many lessons over this whole expereince and I am just grateful to be in a position where I can actually take care of these issues so they go away forever.
But they do not make for a very exciting life.
But they do make for a responsible and adult life!

Back on the right path

This weekend my brain was all over the place. It was not a very successful nor pleasant weekend. The only thing I can pinpoint is the fact I have not worked out all weekend due to my health. This was an old and not happy brain cycle I went through and totally I feel like a raw nerve today.

I think it's best to start working out again this evening and just take care of myself for the next few days as I cycle out of this negative space and come back into my life that I actually totally adore.

I have been picking out new work related outfit items that I am slowly starting to add to my wardrobe. I am finally at a size where I can wear what I want again....Actually I always could wear those clothes I just did not look as good in them as I did in my brain. But my body size is starting to match what I see when I look in the mirror and this is very exciting. I am still losing weight even though I have not been working out lately. This helps me to feel a little better. Takes a couple of things off my plate of stress.

I am going to start doing yoga again. I need a bit of a stress release and I need to mix up my work out routine. So in March I will join and Gym and start taking yoga classes.

One goal I have for the next month is to start waking up at 5 am and go to the gym or go for a run before work. I had been working out at night when I got home from things but I think that something in me has changed and it might just be easier for me to wake up early and work out in the morning. It will take me a month to start training myself to wake up so early. So far I have been turning the clock back to 5:45 and this seems to be ok. Little by little I will train myself to get up earlier so that I can work out in the morning.

Positive Baby steps is what I am all about right now!

My favorite thing

This week I discovered Smooze!

They are coconut milk based frozen treats and I am in serious love!

They are vegan and so far my fave flavor is the coconut and passion fruit ones. These little treats are the only thing that are soothing to this head cold I can not shake!

I feel like I have been sick for months and I am sick of being sick!

I know little by little I am getting better everyday but this is just getting to be too much. I have not been able to work out because of this head cold yet I don't want to take meds given out by doctors so I am causing myself to suffer in the long run.... I know this...It's just that antibiotics really damage my body and I have taken a lot of them in my past and I don't want to hurt myself with them at this time. I finally feel like I am in a state of health and I don't want to go backwards. I just need to take care of myself over the next two weeks.

Besides being sick.... life is grand!

I am really enjoying focusing my time and energy on myself and my health. This has been long overdue. I wake up every morning filled with happiness about life. I enjoying being excited about the small things in life. I am even embracing how much routine I am building into my life. I love knowing what my schedule is. It really helps to keep me on track.

I must go shopping soon. My clothes are literally falling off me or are so big I look like I am swimming in them. I love them because they are so comfy but I am now boarding on just silly looking. Time for some skinny jeans!

Changes

This week has been good. I have been super aware of my body and everything that goes along with my new healthy lifestyle. My energy is finally returning from my flu and I have been out running with the dog. I went to another RAW restaurant with a good girlfriend this weekend and had a wonderful meal. I am really enjoying life right now.

One area where I am struggling is where do you draw the line between changing yourself and watching people you love refuse to grow in their lives? I am working so hard to change things, I am pushing myself to really try new ways of thinking and new activities. I am opening up more and really pushing my thoughts to see life in a new way. It was been a wonderful and exciting process but in some ways it is leaving other people in the dust.

I think I am just in a transition mode. I am meeting new and healthier people and I have to just admit to myself.... I am changing.... I am not in the same place and that's ok.
It's all about self love and being true to myself. I love the changes that are happening to myself and my life and that is all I am going to focus on.

RAW for a day

Friday was a very emotional and psychological experience for me. I was lucky in that I could leave work early because the hardest part about being raw for the day was sitting at my desk. I felt fine if I was moving around and doing things but just sitting in front of the computer made me think of all the food I suddenly wanted that I would never eat in a million years except for the fact I felt like a caged animal.

So once I left I work I felt a lot better. I had some coconut water and took a long walk. I then went over to a girl friends house and we laughed and talked. Saturday I felt amazing! I was not tired all day. I had a long day and all throughout the day I kept thinking about how great I physical felt. Friday night I was thinking that raw might not be my thing but then by Saturday because I felt so good, I am rethinking the whole experience.

I think I will keep working towards eating a mostly raw diet. But I will also be easier on myself. I learned that I can not tell myself "no" or I will rebel. So I am back to making very small changes over time that will lead to long term effects. Maybe I will try eating only a raw dinner for a week and see how that goes.

This weekend was also full of time spent in a city I used to live in but no longer do. It was a little hard on me because life is so different than it was 5 to 10 years ago. I do not like to be haunted by the past but I was for a few hours this weekend.
But I also loved that I kept thinking about how much I love my life right now. I feel free for the first time in years. I am really having fun exploring what my heart desires and my spirit wants. I am never lonely, I have a great job and my health is in the best shape it's been in since I was a teenager. For the first time in a long time I am excited about my freedom and my future. So this weekend was not so bad as I look back on the experience. It was a small pain in an otherwise life I adore!

I am excited for it to be the start of the week. This means I am back to my work out routine and the simple life. I love weekends but I really look forward to the routine of the week.

RAW Morning

Today I am attempting a totally raw day.

So far so good.

I do miss my morning cup of decaf and my morning earl grey tea. Both include a little sugar and milk. I also forgot my water bottle which is a huge bummer for me because I drink from it all day! I do have a giant cup with me that I drink my morning smoothie out of so I will use that. It just requires getting up from my desk more.

There have been a couple of panic moments this morning when my brain starts to scream at me that I need to eat some type of junk. I don't know if it is the salt, the sugar spike or the fat but there is something that my brain is upset about. If I calmly think about the fact I have loads of veggies, raw flax crackers and really good cashew dip the panic stops. I think it is just because it is something so different that my normal day. This level of panic is nothing compared to if i tried this six months ago. I am already eating so healthy anyways that for the most part this is a smooth transitation. Or it should be. But my stubborn side comes back with cravings for foods I don't even like anymore.

But like the days I had to detox off all the medications for my spine and when I decided to give up sugar for two months, I can do this. I just need to give myself loving thoughts of how much better I will feel tomorrow. Going to a totally raw diet is a long term process and this is just a small first step.

This weekend is so packed with events. Snowshoeing, shopping, super bowl(maybe), dinner with friends tonight. I am so blessed to have all these wonderful events to look forward too.

Going for a RAW day

Today has me searching out blogs about people living on Raw Diet lifestyle. I am not looking to hire someone, pay someone or buy anything. What I am looking for is a true account of someone that has decided to go towards the Raw Diet path and the what the journey has looked like. Long gone are the days of blogs being about actual people and what they are up too. Or at least my search engine is not bringing that information up.

If anyone knows a good blog please send it this way!

I have spent the morning looking over green smoothie recipes as well as Raw cashew dip recipes. I can't wait to get home and try it out. I am going to shoot for a raw day tomorrow. I need to stop by my local co-op tonight and pick up things for my lunch tomorrow. I will make things a head of time and bring them in tomorrow so I won't be tempted by the 10 different food stands we have in our cafeteria. I am joining some girl friends for dinner tomorrow night and we have already agreed on a raw dinner so it's just the day time I need to think about. Since I was already doing a raw dinner trying for the whole day seemed like an easy thing to do.

After my Raw meal on Tuesday I felt great all day yesterday. I had a very healthy eating day and even today I can still think about how vibrant and alive the food was. I really noticed a difference yesterday in my body and mind. I have to admit Monday and Tuesday of this week I ate sugar and I did have a bit of a sugar desire yesterday but I just keep replacing the idea of sugar with raw foods. The lesson I did learn this week was eating anything with sugar in it is a slippery slope. I started craving it more than usual and trying to trick myself into eating more of it. So scary how easily those desires start to creep up again.

I will let you know how my raw day goes. This is a big experiment but I am very excited to see how I feel throughout the day. After all the strides I have been making since this fall, what was once a scary idea... Eating healthy, giving up the foods I once loved, exercising everyday.. now does not seem so scary. I can go a day eating only raw foods. I won't feel deprived. I know I will actually end up feeling great.

Not much else is going on in life. I am just really focusing on getting used to working during the day and then motivating myself to work out at night. I have been very good in clearing my life so I can focus on building a healthy routine for myself and my life.
For the first time in three years I will be going shopping for new clothes this weekend. I have lost enough weight that I look like I am swimming in my clothes. I am actually getting very excited about my body. For the first time since I was a teenager, I looked at myself in a full body mirror and I loved what I saw! I can't tell you how amazing this felt. I felt nothing but true love for myself and my body. It was a beautiful moment in time for me. I think about this often because it makes me realize how many times I looked at myself and thought the opposite thing.

2011 is truly all about pleasure!

Learning about myself

Wow!

Whatever has changed in my life I wish it to keep on changing! Miracles are all around me and it is wonderful to be a part of them.

I had an amazing week last week. I am really enjoying my new job and have been approaching this job with a new way of thinking. I am coming in everyday in a state of abundance. I know a lot of people are trying to up each other to show off in the office and they tend to live in a constant state of fear about working or the lack of jobs. I am coming in everyday knowing that I work hard, that I play fair and that the universe will provide. This has been a great change for me and I can see how it has made my once nervous coworkers more at ease and more open to doing things in a group setting. We all have our strengths and need to work as a team. To have my coworkers more at ease makes our work environment a great place to come in everyday and have fun. I am feeling very confident in this new position and situation.

I did have a very exciting dinner with my business mentor the other day. She might have a chance to build a super star team for a new position and asked if I would be interested in joining her. I was so flattered and excited about this. I don't know what will happen but to have someone think of me in this way made my night. Especially since I met this woman at a very dark time in my life but worked very hard to prove myself as a colleague and equal. I look forward to seeing where fate and life take me!

My eating this week has been off. I am not stressed or upset. Actually I am the happiest I have been in a long time. When I actually think back on my eating over the last week it is not that bad. I might have had what I consider a bad lunch but then I will skip dinner or just make it a vegetable for dinner. Or I wake up craving vegetables for breakfast and steam some up. I think it was more the lack of thought that makes me upset. I was on auto pilot this weekend, celebrating life and I did not get my run in during the evenings. I just sort of slacked and by Monday I felt physically bad. I felt and looked bloated. But I have been kind on myself. I keep reminding myself that it is small steps that will lead to long term changes in life. So I had a relaxing weekend in which I did not worry about things but I now see how important it is to not live on autopilot. I need to give my attention to every part of life on a daily basis. Maybe over time as I created new healthier habits I can live on auto pilot but I would rather not.

Monday night as soon as I got home I immediately put my workout clothes on and went out for a run before I could even make an excuse. I actually had a very successful work out and I felt a lot better.
I keep learning lessons that will one day become second nature. Sugarary things like Cake make my stomach upset. Red meat is only good for me once a month. I need to increase my vegetables while staying away from bread. I can have small little treats but anything close to a normal serving is not good for me.
And I need to work out everyday.

Last night I went to a raw restaurant and tried Kelp Noodles. They are a lot like glass noodles from any Asian restaurant. Except kelp noodles are kind of crunchy sounding when you eat them. It was a wonderful mean of noodles, veggies and a ginger sauce. I left full and happy. I could see using the noodles in place of pasta for most things. It was nice to open myself up to trying new foods. Before I went out to eat, I went for my nightly run. It has been hard to enjoy it the last few nights because I slacked so much but I will keep it up. At some point it will get easier...... I hope