Ready for Summer

I am ready for some sunny weather!  We keep getting little tastes of sunny days but then the clouds come back and I get so sleepy.

After a week of eating meat, I am ready to go back to my Raw foods way.  I can't but I miss feeling eating only vegetables.  Hopefully after my follow up appointment next week I can cut the meat way down and enjoy feeling better but not being so meat heavy.  It definitely makes my body feel way heavier to be eating it.

I also have decided to cut out drinking for the rest of the summer.  I don't drink that much but right now every calorie counts and I don't want to give up my fresh juice so I am cutting out the cocktails and wine.  I am really ok with this decision.  I feel so much better when I don't drink so it won't be a problem for me.

It feels like my health has taken over my thoughts lately.   Not much else is going on.  I am working and having fun with friends.  It's a nice calm start to the summer.

Getting to the root of the issue

Over the last few months I have not been feeling very well.  I kept getting sick and it would take me a long time to feel better.  I kept feeling like my body was completely inflamed and I just felt exhausted all the time.  I pushed harder to juice more and eat more raw foods hoping that would help.  I am so lucky in that my coworkers are so understanding because I have not been on top of my game these last few weeks.
It all came to a strange conclusion when last week the skin on my left hand started to get very dark looking.  At first I thought my hand was just dirty but it did not go away after a very long lavender bath .  So I finally went to the doctor.  He said pigment color changes are due to something internal and took 4 vials of blood to see what he could find.
I am happy to report that for the most part everything looks good.  My thyroid is healthy.  My sugar levels are good.  BUT I am seriously anemic.  Which might be why I am so weak and tired all the time.  I had no idea!  I take high potency vitamins everyday.  I eat so healthy and try to get nuts into my diet as much as possible.  But I simply may not be able to be the Raw food Vegan I want to be.  I was doing everything right and yet I am very anemic and it's starting to show up via my skin. 

So last night I went to our local Farmers market and bought some red meat for the week.  I stocked up on Dulse seaweed and Edamame which has iron in it.  I bought a bunch of spinach and kale and some major Iron pills.  After 1 day I am already feeling better.   I am still a little in shock that my body would react that way to my healthier lifestyle but I have come to accept that I may not be able to eat the way I want. 
So I am going to try for the 70% Raw diet and 30% other diet.  And for the next three months I am giving myself a time out for pushing so hard to be healthy.  I am going to just eat healthy but also eat what I need to eat.  This includes meat at most meals along with veggies.  I am going to try to eat a little more dairy than I had been.  I am going to just relax and recover.  I am glad I caught this early before it got any worse. 

And the weird skin color change on my hand that makes it look like my fingers have been self tanning?  It is slowly now starting to go away.

Trying to go with the flow

A decision was made at my work to move my desk without asking me.  I am trying so hard not to freak out about this situation or get mad but I have to admit it's hard.
I usually am very easy going about stuff but this new move is about the worst place you could place me in a situation.  In some ways I feel like a child in school again.  I know what works best for me yet I can't do anything about this situation. And thus I am very unhappy at the moment.

I know I will get over it but I had to take a couple of days off work and I hate it when decisions are made when I am away from the office. 

So I am trying to just focus on catching up in my email and ignoring the situation at the moment.  I am also asking the universe to take care of the situation for me.  I am trying so hard to put all my faith into letting the right thing happen.  But it's so HARD!!!!

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UPDATE:
The issue has all cleared up and I handled it like a champ. 
Just a little reminder to not get upset but allow the universe to take care of what it needs to take care of.

Dream Big

This morning I woke up realizing that it has been a long time since I was able to dream in life. 
After many hard years in my 20's where I basically gave up thinking that anything good would happen or would change my situation, I stopped dreaming.  It does make me slightly sad to think that my 20's were wasted or shall I say lost by the choices I made.  But I have also come to a real place of peace about this.  I made bad choices and I learned a lot of lessons.  Lessons that have allowed me to get to exactly this point where life is once again beautiful and where I can dream Big.

I am settled into a great job.  I am signed up for night school for the fall.  I am making enough money to live and take care of my family while paying my bills easily.  And I now have enough stability and security to start thinking about what I want to try in life.  What kind of things would I like to do with my free time.   What would this bucket list look like?

This morning I am looking at the Raw school in Oklahoma and still thinking I would love to take a month off to do the 1st level classes.  I am also counting the days down to start paddle boarding again.  I am seriously thinking about the juice cleanse Spa in California that I would like to spend a week at this winter.  And of course.... I am thinking about all the traveling I want to do.

But these thoughts are more than just dreams because these thoughts are becoming reality with each passing day.  I am saving money to try these things.  I am planning my future to increase my income so I can do all of the above plus so much more.  I am practicing my RAW foods skills every night while making my juice.  I am letting my family know I will not be around for a Thanksgiving soon while I go to Cali to spend a week at the juicing Spa.  I am talking to all my friends about paddle boarding dates.  And I am gaining the courage to come out of my shell and start to LIVE like I have always wanted to live.  Working hard, being healthy, having good friends and family around while dreaming BIG.

A happy life for me is the perfect combination of working at a job I love, having the time and resources to do things I enjoy when I am not working and being able to live life with ease while remaining healthy physically and emotionally.