Recovering Nicely

My adventures in San Francisco feels like a million years ago. 

I am settling back into my life in Seattle.  In fact, I am now house hunting for my own place.   It feels weird to admit this.  I never thought the day would come where I would move into my own place and be able to pay for it easily.  Yet here I am.   About to move with my dog into our own place and I could not be more excited!

I also came to a place of peace with my first love.   I love him but I can’t fix him nor do I want to ruin what he is doing now.   In the end it’s his loss.   That’s one of the biggest lessons I came away with.  He has very sad feelings towards our history and his current situation.   I don’t,   I feel nothing but love towards the past and the present.    I feel so much joy and happiness in life at this moment.  I am happy to be single because it allows me to find my big love.   I don’t want to settle anymore.  So today I am grateful for my single status and for not settling in relationships that are not good for me in the long run.   I know my first love is scared to do something new and to take the much needed next step.  But only he can make this move. 

I did have a new coworker that I am very attracted to tell me the other “ The thing is you kind of are always in my head”.  He said this in a joking manner but still a very interesting thing for him to say.   I just laughed at the comment and changed the subject.    But this comment stuck in my mind.  I have forgotten what it feels like to be in someone’s mind.   I often think that I am not attractive or that people don’t really notice me.  To have someone admit something like this made me realize that I need to change my perception of myself.   I am worthy of someone thinking of me.  I am worthy of someone being attracted to me.  

I am going to go dance by myself in the copier room to celebrate what a great day it is.