Friends and Food

Yesterday I was reminded of a New York Times article I read a couple of years ago titled “Are your friend’s making you fat?”. I spent a good part of the day thinking about this article and my own personal journey. I was inspired and dare I say… A little jealous of Amber’s blog post about all the vegan/ raw food bloggers she got to see over the last week. I am so grateful for my friend Jen because without her own desire and interest in health, I may not have gotten as far into this whole topic/ life style change.

So I thought over how food and friends have affected my life over the last 10 years and if really thought about if I believed in what the article was trying to say. Do my friends and acquaintances really affect my food choices and my eating habits?

After spending an evening thinking about I dare say… I have to agree. …

To some parts of the article and only when thinking about my own life and my own journey. I don’t want to offend anyone nor make this a huge nightmare of a blog post but for the sake of my own journey, I have been affected by other people when it comes to my relationship with food.
But I am also affected by location of where I am living, traveling or visiting. And I am affected by my own mood and general wellbeing. There are so many factors going on but the one I want to focus on is the friendship/ relationship connection.

As I think back about my journey I see how this idea that other people affect me has happened throughout the years.
When I was living in NYC I became very small. I was around people that ate very healthy and very small amounts. I walked everywhere and I learned to say no to most food. When I lived in the Midwest, I gained weight. I was around people that liked to eat fried foods, not move very much and drink a lot. Seattle has always been a up and down city for me. I have friends that are all over the weight range. But I have noticed a shift lately. Because I am becoming so health focused I am moving towards more like minded people. It’s not a matter of judging people. I do believe you can be extremely healthy and also a larger size. But I am more attracted to people that are realistic and real about the relationship between food and how they are living their lives. This has been a natural progression and has happened slowly. I also find that people are becoming more attracted to spending time with me based on my healthy choices. I have spent numerous evenings taking friends to the RAW restaurant here in Seattle. I have been going over to friend’s houses to create RAW meals for them. I am introducing a new lifestyle to a lot of people around me while learning from already healthy people.
Last night I was talking with a friend about how I have noticed my friends that eat really healthy and do not struggle with issues with food have no emotions around food. It is not good or bad to them. It is just a neutral balance situation. I have been very influenced by this way of relating to food. It is something to be neutral about. Some days I will eat great and some days I might have a “treat” but there is no emotion around it but pure love.

I also find that what used to seem normal to me no longer does. And what does seem normal to me now is what tends to be normal to my healthier more balanced friends. There is an interesting quote from the article “Christakis and Fowler suspect that as friends around us become heavier, we gradually change our mental picture of what “obese” looks like and give ourselves tacit permission to add pounds.” So true! I have started to notice this with people around me. My mind set goes very relaxed when I am around certain groups of people and I tend to think about what I am eating. I look at things that are very unhealthy and some friends see these items as being fine. And I know the people around me feel the same way.

This does not mean by any means I will be dropping friends or refuses to see my friends that happen to be a larger size. That will never happen! I am just noticing for myself that I am influenced good or bad by the people around me. This leads me to want to be around healthier people while also being able to help my friends that want to lead a healthier lifestyle. I am never one to judge and I struggle with this issue so much myself that I totally understand where people are at on all sides of the health scale. Because I have been on all sides of the health scale.

But in truth I am finding that the healthier I get, some friends are simply disappearing. Not because of my actions but because …. I don’t really know why but I have some theories.

I have become boring to them. Without my desire to complain over unhealthy food and engage in unhealthy actives, I become less fun to be around. Unless, you want to go running with me, learn about raw foods with me, take a walk, play pinball etc. But if you want to sit in front of me and eat a burger while having me eat one as well…. You will be out of luck.

I think I am bringing up issues for them that they do not want to deal with. I am admitting that I have a problem and I am actively fixing it. But if my friends don’t want to admit to having an issue or are uncomfortable about admitting it, I am not going to be much fun around it. Unless you understand how healthy it is to face your fears and grow as a person!

Lack of similar interests. This one I understand. I am growing and my interests are growing. I want to expand my life, my mind and my body(in a healthy way). This includes change and a new direction and I am ok with this.

So far now I am just looking at this whole topic on a bigger picture scale and watching how my actions and choices change as I move towards a healthier lifestyle and while also allowing myself to change and grow as a person.