I was once

I was once the picture of a great work life balance!
I was able to get my job done without any mistakes. I was able to come home and really take care of myself. I had consent energy all day long and felt great.

I am no longer this person and it is making me very upset. Why would I agree easily to becoming so non-present in my life? Why do I associate success with becoming so busy I don't know if I am coming or going? Why are the little things slipping from my grasp?

I just decided this whole thing needs to end right now! I need my life back and I am no longer willing to give up my balance and peace for success. I have been making too many mistakes in all area's of my life to allow this to continue.

But the kicker is that not all of my decisions I have been making are up to me! My mother is moving away so I must spend time with her. My job is becoming more demanding so I must spend time on the weekend working on it......etc etc

At least it feels like I have no control over my time right now. And to top it off, it feels like everyone I know is coming out of the woodwork and wanting to spend time with me. So on top of being so busy I can't see straight, I am too busy to see people that I care about and I feel guilty for turning people away. Arghh!

I knew I would lose my balance a little bit but I had no idea the eye of the strom would hit all at once and that I would suddenly sell myself out by giving up my need for balance. I am my own worst enemy right now.