Intention, blogging and blue moon

I keep wanting to blog but then I get scared.
Why am I scared? Well, that is a complex question with about a thousand answers. My life is totally up in the air now and as much as I would like to be in control, I am not.

I am a roller coaster of emotion and sometimes this scares me. I know all of this change is truly for the best and I know I even had a large hand in creating this change but when faced with change, fear can get the best of us.

And some days fear has such a hold on me that I have a hard time breathing. And some days I can laugh in the face of fear and scream " You can't get me, I am ready to fight you". But then I sometimes feel like a mad woman explaining it all. How can I appear sane when my heart feels like it is pounding 100 miles per hour and I don't know what I feel half of the time?

But there is this core strong part of me deep inside that is calm, relaxed, prepared and ready to move forward. It is this part of me that is starting to take over and let all the fear and anxiety go. This strong woman is stepping forward and I know that I will be OK. I just have to trust the part of me that is quiet and still and allow it to work it's magic.

This week marks a Blue Moon. For anyone who does not know what a blue moon is, it is the 2ND full moon in one month. This day will have a lot of energy surrounding it and will be a good day for setting intentions and making a treasure map of what you want to create. I will be celebrating this full moon by creating my dream board and spending as much time as I can outside.

Skee Ball and Black Pepper Cheese

Today was a good day. I hung out with a new/old friend who was visiting from LA. We walked, talked and admired about how different yet the same life is for us now versus 13 years ago.

I sometimes forget that I have not seen some people since high school and they know nothing about what life has been like for the last 13 years. These are people that have never heard my stories, nor my adventures nor have any idea how I got to this place that I am at now.

Of course, what is a spent with me that does not involve some sort of game where I can pretend to be really competitive and bring the kid out in me? This day it was skee ball. We played $10.00 worth of games, each games being a quarter. He remarked that it was almost like a work out. His heart was racing from all the action.

We then sat and talked. He told me more about LA. I talked about what it was like to be single after so many years. He talked about working towards a career yet feeling lonely because in LA finding a really smart woman is somewhat hard. We talked about the book he just wrote and I told him my idea about the book I want to work on. It was truly an interesting and fun day.

Sometimes I forget about all the amazing things I have done in life and how much fun I can be. Today brought back those feelings for me. I am serious about my business and career and in no ways am I a flake but sometimes I let the kid come out and dazzle even myself. It is so few and far between when you meet people that you can walk and talk with. Conversations that include everything from good smelling soaps to learning to be grounded to new products I want to create to how to find love in a modern world, these are the things that give me energy and make me love life. This friend is a kindred soul that I hope to continue my conversation with and visit him sometime in LA.

Loss and asking for help

Wow...
What a week it has been. So many emotions, so little time.
Once thing I am excited to announce is that I have lost 5 pounds on my weight loss journey.

Another thing I am excited to announce is the 1st ever Odessa's Herbals Girls Night Out.
I will be making candles and holding a large table at the Black Bottle in Seattle the night of June 7th for any lady that wants to stop by and get some support in life. This plan was created by some friends with my planning, to help me deal with the loss of my relationship. I am so excited for this night, I am even going to make a special candle for the event!

Please email me if you would like to attend or just send some positive vibes my way.

I am also going to start working on a handbook of rituals to help heal the heart, let go of old emotions and create the life you have always wanted to live. I will provide more details when as they come.

So much is up in the air in my life yet with everyday I feel stronger. I am just letting the Universe work it's magic and focusing on the future.

In the middle of the night

I am awake. I am not sure why I am awake but alas, I can not sleep.
I woke up after dreaming that there was some sort of fish in my bed and I was creating fish food for it.

Welcome to the world of my dreams. After some research I pulled this up about what the fish symbolizes:

There are numerous species of fish, but the creature in general holds some prime symbolic meanings:

• fertility
• eternity
• creativity
• femininity
• good luck
• happiness
• knowledge
• transformation

Well, this is true for me on so many levels.

Here is another meaning for the Fish symbol:

Lastly, in Norse and ancient European cultures, the fish had symbolic meanings of adaptability, determination, and the flow of life. It was observed by these cultures that fish often display enormous attributes of adaptability in the wild, and they adopted these characteristics for themselves. Salmon were commonly revered for their determination in their annual pilgrimage to their spawning grounds – the entire journey swum against the current.

More on this to come.

New Crush

Last night my good friend Adam took me to a special screening of the new movie "Knocked Up". This movie was written and directed by Judd Apatow, who is also the co-creator of "Freaks and Geeks", my favorite TV ever.

I love the movie! I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes comedies about life, real life, the good and the bad.... And the Friends. This is what I admire about Judd. He always casts his friends and in his projects and seems like a great friend. So one of my new goals in life is to become friends with Judd. Not to be in a movie, I have no interest in that, but I would like to interview him about how he has become such an amazing friend. You can feel the energy surrounding all of his projects about what a fun friend he is.

So my new crush is Paul Rudd. He is funny, sweet and an amazing actor. I have netflixed a whole bunch of his movies this weekend for my self care weekend. It will just be me, the animals and Paul Rudd.

Have a great weekend!

Change is in the air

My life is changing right now. Everything that I have come to know as my life for the last five years is now gone or going. Ok, not everything but my partner and I are ending our long term relationship.

This is a good thing in the end.
But I am not there yet. Right now I am sad, confused, heart broken, excited and feel like I am losing my best friend all in one.

I am preparing for a weekend of comfort. I am going to wear my PJ's all day, work in the garden and close down for 48 hrs. straight. I need some me time. I need time to readjust, get ready for the change, figure out what is mine and what I want to keep or get ride of. Including material, emotional and everything else under the sun.
I am also going to have a fire in the fire pit and let go and let my faith take over.

Last night I had the bed to myself for the first time in years. All my animals joined me for a very peaceful night of sleeping. I am so happy to share my life with these little ones. I know they will help me through this and be able to comfort me when I need it the most.

Today I feel cranky - Yesterday I was in a dream state

I have been in a dream state this last week. I saw an old friend on Sunday night and it has caused me to be transported back 10 years ago when we first became friends.
How in so many ways I miss those days. I miss spending all my time with friends. I miss feeling like the world was one big small college campus. I miss feeling excited about what my future would be.
But, there are things I don't miss as well. I don't miss the confusion and heartache. I don't miss the Midwest or trying to be friends with people who are not good for me. I don't miss feeling lost or powerless.

Things are so much better now. Life is finally in full color for me and I love it.

The other strange part about my friends visit is that he is on tour with a very famous band. I went to the show, could not make it to the end since I had to get up early, but took part in a bar/show part of Seattle I never see anymore. It was kind of sad for me.
I remember going to shows or bars to see friends. It was like a family reunion of sorts. Not everyone drank, I rarely did. But we all went to the shows to spend time together.
Seattle has changed so much in my time away. I did not see anyone I knew. I did not feel the energy that was once the Seattle music scene. This crowd felt too big, too much like a meat market, too much like a large university instead of a small liberal arts college.


Today I feel cranky. I want to get in my PJ's and climb into bed. I feel a little scattered with my energy. There are alot of changes happening right now in almost every area of my life and I am ready, but I also get tired as well. I also need to start making better decisions for my life on all area's in my life. I guess I am getting cranky because I am starting to put myself first and this is changing so much and at times it makes me want to resort back to my old ways. However, I have come too far to allow this to happen. So I must just ride this cranky energy out today and realize tomorrow is a new day.

Thread Show Seattle

Thread Show Seattle

Hey everybody!

I was interviewed for this video by some old friends. Ahh... It's good to know people!

Please watch the video and let me know what you think. I am the third vendor they speak with.

So much fun!

What are you doing on May 14th?

I know I will be at the Shop/07 conference in Seattle. I can't wait for the day long conference for anyone in the retail business. This conference was put together by the lovely Melody who was also the leader of the Ladies who Launch incubator I took part in. This incubator has really helped to change my life, pushed Odessa's into something that is more than just a dream and has introduced me to some really great friends.

This day long event has so many speakers that I admire, I feel almost giddy for Monday.

In other news I am working on getting the shopping cart system set up so that my customers can order on line. I am also starting to create gift baskets with special products made by me.

This weekend will be dedicated to the farmer's market, my garden and spending time with my mother.

Take a deep breath

Yesterday was my last candle show for awhile. It was a very special event held in Bothell for the non-profit A Common Bond. It was such an honor to be a part of this fund raiser and to watch how tragedy was able to bring these women together to support each other for the rest of their lives.
I look forward to donating more items and helping to create a candle for this organization.


I was also able to debut my new palm wax candles.
Palm wax is so different from any of the other waxes that I use, I was slightly unsure of what people would think. Turns out they loved it! I got special orders just for the Palm wax candles.

So it looks like I will now offer candles in Soy and Palm wax. I will post some pictures soon!


I am cleaning house and taking it easy today. To say I am exhausted in an understatment! I love running my company but sometimes I get so tired I must take a day or so off.

Odessa's Herbals is going to start offering house party deals. I have not figured out all the detais but I love a house show and I love really being able to connect with my customers. House parties are also good excuses to talk girl talk and bond over candles.
If anyone is interested in helping me plan some of these events, please let me know.

Have a great week!

Things I love

Because I run my own company producing products and thus, I think about products all the time, I thought I would share with my readers some things I love and how I use them in my daily life.

Whether it is a company or product, I think everyone deserves to be in the spotlight. I try to be a aware and conscious shopper. I don't like products tested on animals and I try to shop for products made by smaller companies. So think of this as a consumer guide to things I have loved, just started to love or know that I will love soon enough!

SHIKAI - I feel like my home is becoming a shrine to this company. I use almost all of their products. They are all natural and never tested on animals. In the morning I use their henna shampoo to bring the red notes out in my hair. I use the Sandalwood and Amber body wash to take long bubble baths in and when I really need it, I will use the lotion on my skin. However, the body wash is so gentle it actually makes me feel clean and soft. No more dry skin for me!

Weleda - After spending an afternoon at my local herb shop I realized that this company is what I dream to become one day. They have an organic farm on site where they grow the food that they serve in their cafeteria. There is a school on the "campus" where the children go during the day and are so close to their parents that they get to have lunch together. The products are all natural. I use their deodorant spray in Sage which not only works but has helped calm my hears about breast cancer. I also use their face lotion and Skin food on my my delicate parts, face, hands, feet.

Frans- Their salted caramels are divine. I never knew I could like chocolates so much. Not everyone can handle the sweet and salt of these but that only means more for me! Fran's is a local Seattle company and I hope one day to meet the owner so I can tell her that only valentines day, I only request Fran's salted caramels.

Gaiam - Their organic bedding is amazing. I have yet to buy a set but I am just waiting for this summer to come around. I plan on fixing up my house to make it truly a place I love!

Moon Scents and Magical Blends - (closed ) This company was my favorite catalog when I was a teenager. I loved the shop and always had dreams of visiting it. A few years after learning about the store, the owner decided to just focus on custom blended oils. I have bought a couple of her oils and they are lovely. I do really miss the moonscents store because they always had such wonderful items that I can no longer find.

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab - Ariel introduced me to this company and I am now obsessed. Oh, this brings the old Goth girl out in me. I love the website and I will be ordering some oils this weekend. I love supporting a company that is only opens their doors to the public on full moons! One day I will travel to LA around a full moon so I can see the real deal.



I will keep updating my blog with more items I love but this is a good start for now.