And With A Whoosh

With a whoosh my life has gone from 0 to 60.  Three new clients this week.  Plans to expand to the UK.  And last night a phone call from an internationally known health and wellness company that wants to talk to me about "opportunities" for us to work together.

I HAVE NOT EVEN LAUNCHED YET

Well.  Technically I guess I did. Close friends have known about my company for a month or so. Then I created my website on Sunday and posted it.   I have had hundreds of views since going live on Sunday.  And they are not all me looking at the site!  People are sending the site to friends and family members.   Movement is happening.   My life's purpose is in full color now.  Soon this blog will be retired and I will move to my new home.

The Odessa's Herbals story is coming to a close.   It was a painful yet important and life changing story.  I would not change a single step.  But it's time for me to put this energy and story to bed.  I no longer feel connected to this world or this energy.  It's just a distant memory. 

My new world is beautiful and a higher vibration.   It's filled with magic and so much love.  It's proof that out of the darkness comes light and by setting intentions and doing the work, you can make your dreams happen. (With help from the universe of course!)  

Thank you Odessa's Herbals for getting me on the path.  For helping my heart during the darkest days I have ever known.  For healing me when I was bed ridden and didn't know if I was ever going to walk again.   For holding me these last few years as I waited to figure out my next step.   And for just being here when I needed to share how much I wanted to change my story.  

My story is changing and it's beautiful and perfect and will be known by many.

Magic Morning

In his eyes, I am the treasure he has been seeking.  In my eyes, he is the home I am have searching for.  Together we create magic.

My love poem for 2015

It has been a powerful two days.  With a bang my company suddenly started.  I have new clients.   They found me!  I don't even have a website yet!   Then a good friend from the UK reached out for the first time in a year.  She found out about my new business and now wants to bring it to the UK.  Oh snap.  I just went International!
I don't even have my plan yet!

But the Universe has other ideas.  

It's time she whispers.   You know what you are doing.  Just be true to your heart.  They will come to you.  We will guide them your way.  Just stay open.  Keep doing your work.  It's all unfolding perfectly as planned.  You can handle the bigness of what is coming your way.  You are ready.

My heart is full.  I am making space this weekend to do some magic and allow the universe to do it's work.  Clearly I don't need to rush anymore.  I just need to show up to my true self and stay on my path.

Loving My Life

Peace.  Loving my Life.  Happiness.

These are the feelings I have right now about my life.  Deep breaths.  I am living my dream.  I truly am.  I work.  I make art.  I live a very comfortable life.  I travel.  I take care of myself.  I live in a beautiful, magical world.  I am loved.  I am part of a wonderful family and relationship.  My heart is so full.
It's in such contrast to my past and a welcomed change. 2015 has been truly life changing. I know my life's purpose.  I found my key to a happy life.  It's interesting because ever since I came into this knowledge, my life has been a series of endings yet beautiful beginnings.  I shed my skin of all old attachments and I am ready to step forward in this new role.

I have two more months of processing and collecting loose ends.  My goal was working on myself until June and then launching in July.  I am right on track. It's hard not to be able to talk about what I am doing or my purpose but there is a reason for it.  I am going deep so that when I come out of this transformation, I will in the best place to launch into the public.

Recently my puppy has become night blind.  She is almost 14 years old so it's not unexpected.  I bought her this night light so she can move around at night and not feel like she is trapped.  She loves it and I love it for the soft glow and symbolism it displays.  I am coming out of my cocoon and about to become that beautiful butterfly.  My life is changing and soon I will be helping others do the same.

Resting

This week is a rest week for me.  I need balance.  I need to recharge and settle into the new things I have going on in life.  I know myself well enough to know that when I feel this way, it's time to just relax and put my needs first.

I love that I have gotten to a place in life where this feels very natural and normal.  Self care as a priority feels normal? Revolutionary!  Why was I not taught this at a young age? I think about how much happier I  would all be if I had taken care of my needs and didn't push myself to exhaustion so much growing up and in my 20s. It's hard to explain this to some people because they don't yet understand how good it feels to take care of yourself in this way.

Last night I did some creative projects after a very successful first day on the job.  I slept really well and woke up happy.  I am working hard to trust myself and the Universe and it feels like it is paying off.  Big time!
I also feel so blessed with the women that are coming into my life and providing me with the community and support I always needed and wanted.  I have some of the best girlfriends right now and I could not be preparing to take this large journey without them.  I need a support team of ladies to help me realize this vision on mine and the Universe is bringing me the right people at the right time.

Change is in the air

This whole learning to be successful and stand up for yourself lesson is powerful.  I have never been more uncomfortable in learning a lesson yet rewarded so greatly.    I had no idea that stepping into myself and believing in myself could feel so good.]

I moved jobs this week.  It was a swift and sudden move that was all my decision.  My last manager was the archetype of the personality that has been bullying me for years, especially in work and school situations.   In the last two years, I have finally had the confidence to say no more.  I made this most recent job change because I am done with these types of people. I no longer want to engage in this kind of relationship in my life.
 

I prayed for a new job and twice the universe delivered this opportunity.  I couldn't say no the second time and thus I made a quick move.  And now, damn!  I am happy.  
The universe rewarded me with a raise, a great department and a job where I can be successful.  

New Moon

This weekend was a powerful new moon and I am still recovering from it!  The last few days have been all about self care and good friends.  

I spent Saturday with my good friend getting massage and sitting in the sun.  I just needed some quiet down time outside of the city.  I recently found an amazing massage therapist that works across the water from Seattle and is magical with her hands, her words and her energy.  My good friend G and I decided we are going to go see her every month as a much needed girls day.   We are both on a life changing mission and this journey begins with Self Care!

I recently just purchased a new computer that I am using right now to post this blog update!  I am so grateful to be able to just go out and buy a new computer without stressing or the worry that used to go along with purchases. I am going to be working on my website this week and my business plan.  This computer is one step closer to my dream company and a huge step for me.  Even thought lately there has been a lot of stress, my dream and my visions for the future feel so much closer than they ever have. I know this time next year I will be writing about how grateful I am to make my own schedule and how excited I am to take a much needed international vacation.  I know I will be traveling to see clients in NYC, LA,SF and Boston.  I know the magic that we will create together will be life changing for everyone involved.  And I will be making over twice my current salary doing something I am passionate about and that is my life's purpose.  That's the best part!

New moon, new beginnings, new energy.... I can feel it all!

 



 

True Happiness

I am sitting on my deck in the sunshine looking out at tree's and railroad bridge and I feel this deep happiness in my soul.   I am right where I need to be.

This eclipse season has been about deep life lessons.  It hasn't been easy but it's been the growth my soul needed.  I am wiser from all these experiences and so much happier.  My life is full of magic is a way it never has been before and I love it.  Waking up everyday is starting to feel like this fun adventure.  How will magic manifest itself in my life next.  Everything suddenly has a reason.  It's beautiful and fun. 

Saturday is a potent new moon around business and success.   I bet you know what I will be doing!

Making Space and Standing Up For Myself

I have been changing a lot lately.  

It’s exhausting.  Change is hard.  Changing your career dreams is terrifying especially when you don’t have a very supportive manager.   I went from one wolf to another.  Same wolf- different clothing.  It’s frustrating but I know it’s not me. That’s the positive side to all of this.   I am showing up and doing the best I can.   It’s true when they say that  only 10% of managers are qualified to manage.  I look forward to the day when I am out of the corporate world and working for myself and building my empire.   

I have so much empathy for teenagers and college age kids suddenly.  All the growth I have gone through in the last couple of years has been painful and hard.  I had dinner with a dear friend from college on Wednesday that spends most of the year on the road touring with famous bands.  We were talking about the last 7 years of my life and he reminded me that I have been through some very dark moments and yet, I survived.   We laughed about the time he came to visit when I had just found out about my spine disease and I did not know if I would ever be able to walk again.   I had taken a massive amount of pain meds just to see him and ended up getting really sick at dinner.  Yet here I am 7 years later, still walking.   Sometimes it’s good to have an old friend remind you of how far you have come.

Monday I start a new job!  I was able to transfer to a position that is much closer to where my skill set is and at a higher wage.  I am so grateful to have such a strong and supportive network of former coworkers turned friends turned protective champions.   They all saw my struggles and banded together to get me into something better.  I am staying at my favorite company, just returning to a better division.  I am so excited!

My heart is so full of love and gratitude today. 

It’s going to be a stretch for me as I will need to learn new skills but ultimately it will open so many  more doors for me.  And its allowing me to get my company started just that much sooner. 

This has been a whirlwind of life lessons that I still need to process before I write about them but I will say they all center around power, confidence, strength, purpose and communication.   And now I need a power nap!

Sometimes Magic Finds You

Yesterday I received a package with a new magical oil in it but there was also a surprise in the package that I was not expecting nor was I wanting it or shall I say, I did not realize I wanted it.   Someone send me a piece of a very sacred South American vine that has a powerful clearing, truth telling and loving magic.  It's not a piece of magic you approach lightly.

The first thing I said when I realized that I was opening was "Sh-t, Sh-t, SH-T!"  and put the bag on my table.  I grabbed my dog and went outside to call my friend to talk to her about this package.   She is the one that told me about this vine and the magic that comes from this vine.  She said she was not going to work with the vine because of how potent and demanding it could be.   It requires respect, it requires attention and love.
We actually had been laughing about this vine earlier in the day because of stories we had been hearing about how this vine was working magic in people's lives and they were not yet ready for it.  So as soon as I received a piece I needed some fresh air.
How do you just receive a piece of this magic? It seems crazy that a piece of this rare vine just showed up in my life.  I guess the thing about this vine is it finds you.  It calls you and shows up in your life.  It's not something you seek out.   It's something that appears when you are ready for it.  If you come at it too early or fast it can be harsh.

After my walk I had a call with my coach and she asked what was going on.  She mentioned that I looked a little stressed.  I said that I had received this South American vine in the mail and I was nervous about it.  Of course she knew all about it and wanted me to show it to her.  I pulled it out of the bag and we both made a noise at the same time.  My little piece of vine is in the shape of a heart.

The heart and opening of my heart is what I am working on right now.  For the last few months I have been working on opening up my heart chakra and opening myself up to love.   It has been hard and exhausting work but so rewarding. It's all part of my life's purpose and my new business.  We both knew as soon as we saw the vine that it was staying with me.  It feels so loving, warm and magical.  Not at all scary like I had thought it would feel.  My coach said, that's because you have done the work and the vine found you to bring you the rewards of the hard work.  So I started to build the vine a little altar in my bedroom and will continue to build it a little home to see how life unfolds with this new addition.

It's funny because everyone that I have mentioned this story too thinks it's perfect.  My friend that had original told me about the vine said she thinks the vine is here to protect me and heal me.  She is excited that this little vine piece found me even if I did not seek it out.

I am so grateful for the Universe and these little magical moments that are becoming a daily occurrence. I am grateful that I have been doing all this work so that I am ready for the magic coming my way.  And I am grateful as my heart is opening and my life is filling up with love.  I have never felt this loved before in my entire life.  

Full Moon Release

The full moon released a lot for me this weekend.  I know it will continue to release all week long.   Some of it was painful but most of it was beautiful and much needed.   I feel like I have moved to the next level in my journey and I am working hard to stay in a place of faith and love.

Friday I had dinner with old coworkers from the gaming world.  But our conversation centered about spiritual matters.  It was perfect. The more I open up about my passions, the more I am connecting to people and making authentic new friends.
Then Mr. Big Man and I had our date and now I feel like we can go back to being friends and I can focus on work and my company.   As much as I like Mr. Big Man, he is not the one.  I know that.  But I do adore his male essence and I need it in my life.  I will always love him.  But he is not the kind of man you settle down with. Or shall I say, he is not the kind of man I settle down with.  However, he will always be in my life and on my mind.  I do know this.  We have been connected together for 4 years and have ebbed and flowed in and out of each others lives.  We recently admitted our feelings but we also know there are barriers to the situation.  And for once, I don't want to fight those barriers or ignore them.  It's ok to love someone and not be with them.  This is something I have never understood until Mr. Big Man.  He has a part of my heart and I have a part of his.  But it's just not the right life time. 

Saturday I did some work and just napped.   I was tired from such an exhausting week.  I thought my new job would be a much needed break from my last job but it turns out not to be the case.   I am working to move to another area that would be closer to the gaming industry again.  I don't want to work like I did when I was younger and had to put in 50 plus hour weeks.  It's not worth it to me anymore in life.   I had two great meetings with old coworkers on Friday morning and I hope to move into a new division soon. 
Saturday night I went out with my girlfriends to a dance club and just enjoyed being out in public.   I am finally feeling like being out in public is fun again.   I am official half my old body size now.   I feel like my old self!  I love the fact that I no longer feel nervous about my body anymore.  And that my body is handling all this change in such a great and loving way.

I have a very busy next few weeks.   I am starting to network again as I build my board of directors for my new company.  I just received my business cards and they look amazing!   I need to work on my website this week and some other "paperwork"  type work.  But it's all being done with love and excitement because everyone I have talked too about my company is so excited about it.  I have gotten the best feedback and guidance from my mentors.  I just have a couple of steps to take before I launch this baby.  I have never been more determined or focused or happy in my entire life.  This is it.  This is my life's purpose and it's big,  it's going to be public and soon enough it will be mainstream.

I love this life!