Even though the Solstice already happened, 2008 is almost over according to our modern calendars. This last week that I have been snowed in has been a tough week of reflection. So many things have been going through my mind. I am ready for a fresh start!
This year has been physically and emotionally tough yet I feel more enlighten and clear on what is truly important to me. I have learned that my body is the most important thing to me right now. I am in a race against time because of my spine. It is daunting to realize that one day I will not be able to walk or move around like I do now. Yet, through all this health madness, I have come to realize how simple I want life to be. I have a clear vision of what I want to do with my life and it revolves around my health, my family, my friends and my candles. Everything else is just noise and distraction to me. In the past I put other people and jobs before my health and happiness. Not anymore! When I am on my own life becomes easier, more magical, lucky and meaningful. I am no longer confused or depressed. I am in focus and very happy to be exactly where I am right now.
I have learned, I have changed, I have grown up and matured into the person I always wanted to be. It is a great feeling to realize that with intention work, life has a focus and dreams do come true. Someone told me that the stage I am in is like a butterfly before it comes out of the cocoon. I have to do this process alone so that I when I come back into society I will be more beautiful and peaceful than before. My injury this summer has allowed for me to work through the emotional aspect of learning that I will not always be able to run around like I once was able too. I have come to peace with my situation and allowed myself to grow into a very positive space. Self love and care is the most important thing to each of us. Without this balance I have suffered and watched other's suffer as well. This balance is something that is so delicate and hard to achieve but once I got there, miracles happened all around me.
I want to share this balance with all the people that I come into contact with. I have learned what the extremes look like on both ends and now I know what the balance looks like and it is wonderful. My spine injury has been the best thing that could have happened to me. In many ways it has taught me the importance of being alone but also the importance of community and being able to depend on loved ones. This summer without the help from my father and other very close friends, I would not have been able to move. On the other hand, I spent a lot of time alone this summer coming to peace with myself. I now understand how important living a healthy lifestyle is, everything from yoga, swimming, fresh fruits and veggies to clean air and living life in the slow lane. I still have ambition and dreams, I still want to make the best candles out there and to grow my company into a large and stable company but I will do it a very different way from now on. My company will be built on balance and self care. I must practice what I preach and I am finally at that point. I was so excited to see the Cover of O magazine all about balance and self care. I read the magazine with an eye of self reflection and I am proud to say that I am finally able to say that my life is balanced and full of intention and peace.
2009 is going to be an amazing year!
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