Thursday, May 14, 2015
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
And With A Whoosh
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Magic Morning
I don't even have my plan yet!
Friday, April 24, 2015
Loving My Life
These are the feelings I have right now about my life. Deep breaths. I am living my dream. I truly am. I work. I make art. I live a very comfortable life. I travel. I take care of myself. I live in a beautiful, magical world. I am loved. I am part of a wonderful family and relationship. My heart is so full.
It's in such contrast to my past and a welcomed change. 2015 has been truly life changing. I know my life's purpose. I found my key to a happy life. It's interesting because ever since I came into this knowledge, my life has been a series of endings yet beautiful beginnings. I shed my skin of all old attachments and I am ready to step forward in this new role.
I have two more months of processing and collecting loose ends. My goal was working on myself until June and then launching in July. I am right on track. It's hard not to be able to talk about what I am doing or my purpose but there is a reason for it. I am going deep so that when I come out of this transformation, I will in the best place to launch into the public.
Recently my puppy has become night blind. She is almost 14 years old so it's not unexpected. I bought her this night light so she can move around at night and not feel like she is trapped. She loves it and I love it for the soft glow and symbolism it displays. I am coming out of my cocoon and about to become that beautiful butterfly. My life is changing and soon I will be helping others do the same.
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Resting
I love that I have gotten to a place in life where this feels very natural and normal. Self care as a priority feels normal? Revolutionary! Why was I not taught this at a young age? I think about how much happier I would all be if I had taken care of my needs and didn't push myself to exhaustion so much growing up and in my 20s. It's hard to explain this to some people because they don't yet understand how good it feels to take care of yourself in this way.
Last night I did some creative projects after a very successful first day on the job. I slept really well and woke up happy. I am working hard to trust myself and the Universe and it feels like it is paying off. Big time!
I also feel so blessed with the women that are coming into my life and providing me with the community and support I always needed and wanted. I have some of the best girlfriends right now and I could not be preparing to take this large journey without them. I need a support team of ladies to help me realize this vision on mine and the Universe is bringing me the right people at the right time.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Change is in the air
The universe rewarded me with a raise, a great department and a job where I can be successful.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
New Moon
I spent Saturday with my good friend getting massage and sitting in the sun. I just needed some quiet down time outside of the city. I recently found an amazing massage therapist that works across the water from Seattle and is magical with her hands, her words and her energy. My good friend G and I decided we are going to go see her every month as a much needed girls day. We are both on a life changing mission and this journey begins with Self Care!
I recently just purchased a new computer that I am using right now to post this blog update! I am so grateful to be able to just go out and buy a new computer without stressing or the worry that used to go along with purchases. I am going to be working on my website this week and my business plan. This computer is one step closer to my dream company and a huge step for me. Even thought lately there has been a lot of stress, my dream and my visions for the future feel so much closer than they ever have. I know this time next year I will be writing about how grateful I am to make my own schedule and how excited I am to take a much needed international vacation. I know I will be traveling to see clients in NYC, LA,SF and Boston. I know the magic that we will create together will be life changing for everyone involved. And I will be making over twice my current salary doing something I am passionate about and that is my life's purpose. That's the best part!
New moon, new beginnings, new energy.... I can feel it all!
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
True Happiness
I am sitting on my deck in the sunshine looking out at tree's and railroad bridge and I feel this deep happiness in my soul. I am right where I need to be.
This eclipse season has been about deep life lessons. It hasn't been easy but it's been the growth my soul needed. I am wiser from all these experiences and so much happier. My life is full of magic is a way it never has been before and I love it. Waking up everyday is starting to feel like this fun adventure. How will magic manifest itself in my life next. Everything suddenly has a reason. It's beautiful and fun.
Saturday is a potent new moon around business and success. I bet you know what I will be doing!
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Making Space and Standing Up For Myself
Tuesday, April 07, 2015
Sometimes Magic Finds You
The first thing I said when I realized that I was opening was "Sh-t, Sh-t, SH-T!" and put the bag on my table. I grabbed my dog and went outside to call my friend to talk to her about this package. She is the one that told me about this vine and the magic that comes from this vine. She said she was not going to work with the vine because of how potent and demanding it could be. It requires respect, it requires attention and love.
We actually had been laughing about this vine earlier in the day because of stories we had been hearing about how this vine was working magic in people's lives and they were not yet ready for it. So as soon as I received a piece I needed some fresh air.
How do you just receive a piece of this magic? It seems crazy that a piece of this rare vine just showed up in my life. I guess the thing about this vine is it finds you. It calls you and shows up in your life. It's not something you seek out. It's something that appears when you are ready for it. If you come at it too early or fast it can be harsh.
After my walk I had a call with my coach and she asked what was going on. She mentioned that I looked a little stressed. I said that I had received this South American vine in the mail and I was nervous about it. Of course she knew all about it and wanted me to show it to her. I pulled it out of the bag and we both made a noise at the same time. My little piece of vine is in the shape of a heart.
The heart and opening of my heart is what I am working on right now. For the last few months I have been working on opening up my heart chakra and opening myself up to love. It has been hard and exhausting work but so rewarding. It's all part of my life's purpose and my new business. We both knew as soon as we saw the vine that it was staying with me. It feels so loving, warm and magical. Not at all scary like I had thought it would feel. My coach said, that's because you have done the work and the vine found you to bring you the rewards of the hard work. So I started to build the vine a little altar in my bedroom and will continue to build it a little home to see how life unfolds with this new addition.
It's funny because everyone that I have mentioned this story too thinks it's perfect. My friend that had original told me about the vine said she thinks the vine is here to protect me and heal me. She is excited that this little vine piece found me even if I did not seek it out.
I am so grateful for the Universe and these little magical moments that are becoming a daily occurrence. I am grateful that I have been doing all this work so that I am ready for the magic coming my way. And I am grateful as my heart is opening and my life is filling up with love. I have never felt this loved before in my entire life.
Sunday, April 05, 2015
Full Moon Release
Friday I had dinner with old coworkers from the gaming world. But our conversation centered about spiritual matters. It was perfect. The more I open up about my passions, the more I am connecting to people and making authentic new friends.
Then Mr. Big Man and I had our date and now I feel like we can go back to being friends and I can focus on work and my company. As much as I like Mr. Big Man, he is not the one. I know that. But I do adore his male essence and I need it in my life. I will always love him. But he is not the kind of man you settle down with. Or shall I say, he is not the kind of man I settle down with. However, he will always be in my life and on my mind. I do know this. We have been connected together for 4 years and have ebbed and flowed in and out of each others lives. We recently admitted our feelings but we also know there are barriers to the situation. And for once, I don't want to fight those barriers or ignore them. It's ok to love someone and not be with them. This is something I have never understood until Mr. Big Man. He has a part of my heart and I have a part of his. But it's just not the right life time.
Saturday I did some work and just napped. I was tired from such an exhausting week. I thought my new job would be a much needed break from my last job but it turns out not to be the case. I am working to move to another area that would be closer to the gaming industry again. I don't want to work like I did when I was younger and had to put in 50 plus hour weeks. It's not worth it to me anymore in life. I had two great meetings with old coworkers on Friday morning and I hope to move into a new division soon.
Saturday night I went out with my girlfriends to a dance club and just enjoyed being out in public. I am finally feeling like being out in public is fun again. I am official half my old body size now. I feel like my old self! I love the fact that I no longer feel nervous about my body anymore. And that my body is handling all this change in such a great and loving way.
I have a very busy next few weeks. I am starting to network again as I build my board of directors for my new company. I just received my business cards and they look amazing! I need to work on my website this week and some other "paperwork" type work. But it's all being done with love and excitement because everyone I have talked too about my company is so excited about it. I have gotten the best feedback and guidance from my mentors. I just have a couple of steps to take before I launch this baby. I have never been more determined or focused or happy in my entire life. This is it. This is my life's purpose and it's big, it's going to be public and soon enough it will be mainstream.
I love this life!
Monday, March 23, 2015
Symbiotic
Every time we turned around there were moments that were beautiful and perfect.
She heard my big dream and knows it is going to manifest. She can she see it as clearly as I can. She also witnessed all my fears and we released them.
Today I am Bone Tired. So tired I can't even talk. I feel like I ran a marathon this weekend. I wish I could just sit at the beach in silence and journal because I discovered so much about myself, my heart and my journey this weekend.
The Threshold has been crossed.
I am no longer the same.
I left my old journey behind and I stand here in a new place.
I am so ready for this BIG DREAM.
Friday, March 20, 2015
New moon
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Cup of Tea and A Magical Island Adventure
While there is a large part of me that is excited about what's happening, it's also exhausting. I made the decision to clean my life and energy field out. It's been clearing up quickly and lessons have been coming fast. I am lucky in that I know what's happening so I am not fighting any of these amazing changes. I am allowing for these big life changes to happen and I am grateful for them but geez, I could use a week at the beach to just recharge. This has been the most exhausting work I have ever done.
On the other hand, doors are flying open and I am being invited to meet the top of the top in the industry I am about to enter. People are entering into my life and inviting me to work with them in a way that I have never experienced. My life is seriously on the verge of change in the best way. My dreams are quickly becoming reality. It almost feels like I can't dream fast enough to keep up with how much stuff is manifesting right now.
I had the best massage the other day from someone new. She said to me early on, "You are like a seed about to burst with new life". I can feel it. I said, that's funny because I am about to start a small new little company. She said "Nothing is going to be small about this company. It's going to be way bigger and more amazing than you even realize". I almost started crying with excitement and fear.
I am ready to walk the path that I know I should be walking. I am ready for my dreams to become reality. I am so ready to launch this baby into the world.
I am preparing for a magical adventure this weekend on one of our local island with a very powerful lady from the East Coast. She has been preparing for our session all week. I can't wait to see what kind of magic we can do together! I have stones, candles, oils, flowers and herbs all ready to take with me. I am ready to cross my threshold and enter into something new.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Update On The Everyday Stuff
My job is good. It's exactly what I wanted. I have a flexible schedule. I have a better manager and I am back at a company I love. I come into the office most days but no one is watching me and the clock. I deliver my work on time and I am given the freedom I need to be the best employee I can be. Pure Bliss!
And I get to work from home whenever I want. This is so important to me and my health!
I am slightly overbooked right now in life. I need to clear my social calendar out a bit because I am feeling the frazzled side come out. I haven't been able to just relax and read a book lately. I haven't been writing as much as I need. But I am doing so much good work right now that I am not worried. And I am connecting with friends so I am not ready to give up the frazzle just yet.
One big decision I made this week is I have decided that I am going to invest in some meal prep services for during the week. I am so busy that making dinner at night is stressing me out. I can afford to have meals delivered and if it means that I get to spend more time relaxing and taking care of other things during the week than I am going to invest in that right now. It feels so good to make this decision.
So next week marks my first week! I can't wait!
One of the many perks of working in the tech field.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Cutting Cords
Today I met with a very powerful mentor of one of my coaches and she not only noticed it but she was able to tell me exactly where this hook came from and why I had it.
WOW.
All I can say is I finally feel free.
I feel healed.
I no longer feel like I am at fault for my past pains which has been a huge block for me.
Is anyone else feeling these changing tides? So much change happening all around. I know some people are having a really hard time with it but I feel like all of this stuff that is happening is so cleansing and beautiful. But I am ready for true change. I had given up on the need to control once I hit my Saturn retuning and these last few years have prepared me to be ready to totally cleanse my life. So all these changes, all this tense energy, all this pain is being put to good use. I am going deep into it and coming out stronger.
My best advice to my loved ones around me having a hard time is to go deep and let go. Just let go of everything. People, relationships, work, dreams, ego, shoulds/woulds, just go deep and let the universe blow your life up. Because you will come out new, refreshed and ready to do what you are meant to do.
It's the best thing that will ever happen to you.
Saturday, March 07, 2015
A Little Down Time
This full moon in Virgo was intense in the best way. The front half of the week was slightly miserable. Everyone was cranky and life just felt hard. But Thursday everything had turned around to a love filled world. I am always amazed at the power of the moon and how sensitive we are to it.
I am feeling like I am back on track after a couple of weeks of feeling off balanced. It feels good to be grounded again. I am back to planning my new company. To my self care routine. To making art and adding joy in my life. Ahhhh. Feels so good to be back on the right track! I spent this week really connecting with friends. I needed just a week to see people and talk; to reconnect and share with them. Just a week to let go and just let life guide me.
This week also marked a lot of healing and releasing. It was beautiful. For the first time in years, I have real space in my life thanks to the healing old wounds from the past. And it all happened in a really gentle and sweet way. I am so grateful for 2015 and my life.
Thursday, March 05, 2015
Feeling Settled
It's amazing what a little sunshine and calming of the mind can do. All the discomfort from the last month is gone. Magic is happening and I am so grateful.
I am seeing old friends and coworkers coming back into my life. I am showering people with love and making amazing new friends that are aligned with where I am in life right now. I want to pinch myself because I am on the right path and it feels so good.
The cherry trees are blooming in Seattle and Spring is in full swing. Tonight is a very powerful full moon in Virgo and it's energy is kicking my tush in a good way. I need to get focused with my feet on the group. I have been living a little up in the air lately so I am ready to spend the weekend really getting grounded.
Getting grounded and being present.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Morning Walk
Worthy of
I have been thinking a lot about this question "is someone worthy of being in my life" and I realized last night that it sounds like it is coming from a place of judgment. But that's not my intention when I ask this question. What I am trying to figure out about the other person is if we are on similar paths.
I am not using worthy as an ego word but I am using it to acknowledge to myself about howI love my life right now and I want people in my life that will compliment this magical world and share in it with me. Because I want to share everything about my life with those around me that I love.
And in the past I have been known to share with people that are not very nice back.
So when I ask myself this question, it's not because I think I am better than anyone. And it's not because I look down on people. I am asking this question to really think about if this person has the type of energy and love I want in my life right now. Are they going to love me as much as I love them? Are we going to support and grow together or get in each other's way.
It's strange because I have survived for so long on such little self worth/ego energy that often I forget this ego world exists. But then I am reminded that there are people in this world that actually feel they are better than other people. Ugh. What a horrible way to live.
How can I rephrase my question so that in my mind I am asking myself to think about people while doing it in a way that does not imply judgement to other people. Something to ponder this weekend.