Taking care of my body

I wish I had more exciting news but I have been taking it easy lately. I am still busy in the studio and getting out to see friends but I have just been taking it easy.

This week has been busy at night for me. I attended a private party for the cast of the new show Memphis that is opening here in Seattle soon. It was a wonderful and friendly party! I saw old friends and met new ones while sampling some southern BBQ made by JJ McKay! Tonight is a Chinese new year part at my friend Wendy's company. She has a wonderful design studio and I adore Wendy and her husband Todd. I met Wendy when I was doing TV production in 2003. Wendy has a dog named Fisher. Fisher is a very smart border collie and my dog Ahmi is in love with Fisher. They would play at the office as if it was doggy daycare. After a couple of wrestling matches, Ahmi was banned from coming into the office and Fisher was left to entertain himself! I can't wait to see Quesinberry and Associates new office!

This week marked the Chinese New Year. I do not know too much about this holiday but I was talking with a friend last week who said that setting intentions before the new year (ie. last week) was a great way for a fresh start. I set some intentions and have watched over the last few days a lot of things change for the better. I am excited to share these stories as I move a little further away from the experiences and can talk about them in a more neutral way. But one great thing is I have noticed how issues that used to be emotional or upsetting are now calmer and I can approach them from a larger view point. What once upset me now seems a direct message or opportunity from the Universe to see the situation from a broader perspective and make new choices.

I am off to make more love candles and tea lights for Glassy Baby. I had a wonderful conversation with someone new who was telling me how amazing the tea lights from Glassy Baby were. She had no idea I made them. She was so happy to have found a tea light that lasts 6 hours and were made from Soywax. When I told her these candles were all handmade by me, she could not believe that not only did my company make them but that they were handmade by me! I can not wait to introduce her to my pillars and other new candles I have in the works.

Another magical day

It has been three days since I started my new healing adventure and I am already being tested. Friday my bathing suit fell apart while I was in the pool. This gave me a lovely excuse to stop swimming but I met with determination and I now have three suits arriving this week. I physical have to swim and there is nothing that can stop me now.

Then someone from my past came back. This is not a good nor bad thing. It is just a choice I must make between moving forward and deciding if I want to bring the past back while moving forward. I am taking my time to figure out what I truly want. I am no longer the same person I was before my illness. I know this may sound strange but when someone gets really sick and helpless, it is almost like a rebirth. Life changes after that moment. The world and your space in it becomes a bigger question.

So already the universe is testing me. I am facing issues and realizing that I am now approaching things differently. This is actually a really exciting place for me. I can see changes happening and wonder how things will unfold. Plus I am really excited for my new bathing suits and this maybe the first time I have ever been exciting about a bathing suit!

Tending too my Garden

I am trying to stay in the moment. This has been my theme lately. Not getting caught up in memories of the past nor spending too much time trying to create my future. Instead I am enjoying being right here right now. Yesterday I started the morning at my studio working, then a sudden desire to talk to a out of town friend turned into breakfast with them down the road from the studio. I had no idea they were in town! Then this turned into a trip to my studio where we met up with another friend that was hanging out in my studio which then turned into all of us going to watch a soccer match at the local pub. Then we went for smoothies and a walk along the canal by my studio which turned into a trip to the Ballard Locks and then ended up with us having an amazing dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Ballard. It was the perfect day for me! I laughed so hard that my stomach ached at the end of the day. I was able to take many walks throughout the day for my back and I had the best company in the world. I was totally present in our time together and truly enjoyed my day.

Today I am starting a new three month healing program that I have made for myself. It includes not just physical healing but so much more! A couple of years ago I worked with a woman who was able to hold the space for me as I worked towards leaving a very dark period of my life. It seemed like every time we talked something magical would happen before I saw her next. Every issue or person I spoke with her about had a way of showing up within days of our meeting. I have never been able to have another person hold space for me like this lady did. So after almost two years I have started to visit with her again. I am ready to tend to my garden again. I am physical getting stronger everyday and my company is healthy. I am now ready to make room for love and relationships in my life. Much like my theme for this year "love" this room I am working to create is much more than just a romantic relationship. This love is about self love, family love, friendship love, etc.... This is about opening my heart and allowing love in my life.

So I am feeling good after my start to this new healthy phase in my life. I just took a relaxing Orange and Linden berry aromatherapy bath and now I am resting in my bed after a long day of making candles. I am so happy to be home and warm right now that I can not think of any place I would rather be! This is called being completely present in the moment. I have no desire to be or do anything that exactly what and who I am right now.

One step back

This week is turning into a very slow week for me. As I mentioned, my pain has come back a little more than I thought it would. My doctors have you on rest this week so that my nerve can rest. Of course, resting is hard for me. I like to do things and see people but alas I am resting a little more than I have in the past few weeks and it seems to be working.

One thing I have been thinking about is how much love and gratitude I feel towards my back right now. I have had my heart blown open by this injury and I have such a deeper understanding of myself. I also have such a sense of peace about this whole experience. It's like a reawakening in many ways, no more room for drama, sadness or excess (not that I had much of this in my life). This life is too short and fragile to not follow your bliss. I intend to spend everyday happy, healthy and successful!

I just finished Martha Beck's "Steering by Starlight: Finding your Right Life, No Mater What!" This book has been an affirmation for me in so many ways. It is a little more wordy than most books about finding your bliss but I really enjoyed that part. The author is a Harvard educated writer and it shows. I loved her style and the stories she weaves as she talks about the magic that we all experience in life if we are just able to open our eyes. I was so excited by this book I could barely put it down. I did most of the writing and exercises in the book and I plan on rereading it to just let it sink again. It has been a good early year read, definitely setting me up for a wonderful year ahead. But I must also note that in some ways, I am already living the exact life she was talking about. I think about someone, I get an email. I worry about finding the answer to something and suddenly the problem is gone. It is not always this way, but for the most part life is steered by starlight for me and I am happy about that. But my belief is we are always the student and never the master so I am forever reading and learning, changing and adapting in life.

I am working with my good friend Jennifer at a coffee shop by her house. I just dropped off her new love candle and she is so excited! I can't wait to watch her story unfold... That's the best part about my candles.

One man I adore

Today I had coffee with JJ McKay. He is a man I truly adore. He always makes me laugh, smile and be happy I am located in Seattle. We are such a lucky city to have him here and I know the local business community would agree. He made Seattle Business Magazine's top 5 list of networker's to know in the city. And let's add matchmaker to that list, I am waiting for my new husband to come to me via JJ!

I was given the bummer news today that I need to cut down on my swimming for a couple of weeks. It has increased my pain and this is something that is not getting any better. I am bummed but also a little relieved. I am exhausted! So every other day I will be swimming and then cross-training on my off days.

I am working on a new love recipe for Valentines day. I am so excited about this new blend and I made myself a huge pillar. Of course, my candles work amazing for everyone but me so I will just enjoy the smell. But I am excited to give this candle as a gift to friends!

I am so grateful

Even after so much change in my life over the last two years, I am so grateful for where my life is right now. Today I was able to spend some quality time with a friend who has been having a hard time this week. I took her to some of my favorite stores in Seattle. I know that this may seem like such a small thing, but for me after this last year of sickness. I would not have wanted to be anywhere else. I was able to help someone who has really been for me over the last two years and someone that has really been kind to me while I was so sick.

I am reading a couple of books right now. The new book I am reading is by Martha Beck. She is a life coach and contributor to the O magazine. The best part about this book so far is that I know I do not need to read it. The book is all about finding your essential self and your "north star". I have found this in my life. I get to spend my days the way I want, I get to have fun or work hard and I am my own boss. But I am reading the book none the less because as Oprah talked about this week, sometimes we fall off the wagon but we never stop evolving.

I am taking the evening off from social events and just spending it with my animals and father. This weekend I will be in the studio all weekend with breaks for swimming!

Exhausted!

I have been going to the pool 6 days a week and I have to tell everyone, I am exhausted! I always go into the pool thinking, oh I will just do a light day. Well almost two hours later I have pushed myself hard because it feels so good to be moving again. Of course, when I get home I can hardly stay awake but my body is getting stronger so I will keep it up. My back is actually doing a little worse right now but this is OK. The nerve is not used to so much movement and it has to adjust accordingly. I can feel my nerve from my leg all the way into my foot. It's weird to be able to feel something like a nerve under my skin but I can feel it.

Tomorrow is the start of candle making for 2009. I have a lot of work to do. Last year was a hard year for a lot of my friends and I am making candles to help bring in 2009 for them. One candle I create this week is an education environment candle. This is a great candle for parents with young children that want to create an environment that will foster learning. It is also a candle I create for my cousin that is doing a PHD program at NYU. She needs a little boost to create a good study environment to keep her brain active. I can't wait to send this candle to her!

I am off to have dinner and then it is to bed. I am reading a new book for my book club and this book is amazing! It is nonfiction and so far I really like it. It is called Sin in the Second City. If you live in Seattle, shoot me an email if you are interested in joining the book club. It is located on Queen Anne and so much fun.

My name is Aunty!

Today brought a great morning with my nephew. He was so happy to see me and was really excited when he realized I wore my PJ's up there. He loves his PJ's and it is hard to get him out of them in the morning. I was just happy to be snuggling with him on the couch while my sister was able to read the paper and wake up.

I went swimming today and what was supposed to be an easy day in the pool turned out to be a good but very hard work out. I thought I would just hangout in the deep end and do little exercises but then I just got so into what I was doing and pushing my body that after an hour I was exhausted! I felt great but very tired. I went into the sauna with my hair conditioner and applied it to my wet head. My poor hair has been suffering from all the chemicals in the pool. One of my first days at the pool I met a really nice lady that had conditioner in the Sauna with her. She said that she loved to put it on her hair in the sauna because it made her hair so soft afterwards. Well I can confirm this today. My hair is so soft today and curly. I think I will put it in my hair every other day because I no longer have the frizz or funky feeling hair that comes with spending everyday in the pool.

Tomorrow marks my return to the studio since the holidays. I am very excited to get back to work. I just received a large order from Glassy Baby and I am excited to make tea lights again. Plus, I need to get started on product development for the new year. I will keep you all posted on my new candles as I create them.

Drinking Coffee

Today it's sunny and I am out enjoying the weather. After a long morning of being in the pool and pushing myself to the next level, I am at a coffee house enjoying the afternoon. I feel like now that I am getting better and have more energy, there is so much to do. I will share my list with everyone to inspire you all to get all those little things done that need to get done.

1. Make labels for my candles - this is something I am on the fence about. On the one hand I would like people to know that they are my candles, on the other hand, I do not want to ruin the beauty of a product with no advertising on it. It is a fine line and my labels will be as minimal as possible so that my customers still feel like they are buying a piece of art.

2. Contact my ever growing board of directors - This has been something I have struggled with since last summer. Because I could not walk and I was to embarrassed to be scene in public when my nerve was dieing, I have meetings that still have not happened. Lucky for me everyone has been so wonderful about the delay and my nerve has almost fully healed and I no longer appear to have serious nerve damage in my legs.

3. Clean studio - I am in product development mode so it is time to be out with the old, in with the new. Plus, I already have dates filled this month of people that have reserved my studio to come and learn how to make candles, learn about intention work and just have a girls night in.

4. See all my friends! - This is the most fun of all my things to do. I can't wait to see all those people that I have been unable to visit with while I was sick. I have new and old friends that I miss so much. January is my month to let my hair lose and have a good time.

5. Set up my shopping cart online and my Etsy account - I am now in possession of a digital camera and a lap top so what out. My candles will be live soon enough! I will keep you all updated when I go live. I can not wait to be able to start shipping orders from strangers and dear friends alike!

6. Exercise 2 hours a day - This is a direct order from my Physical Therapist. It is the only way I will be able to keep the disease in my back from causing more damage as quickly as it has progressed in the past. I can not stop it but with moving around at least two hours a day, I can slow down the damage.

7. Try to blog 5 times a week - I know I was a total slacker in the past but I can not blame it on all the medications I have been taking. I am on a medical detox with my doctor and have cut down on almost all of my medications. I still have the nerve blocker, which is what has caused my brain to slow down but at least my energy level is raising and soon I will be off the nerve blocker.


I think this is it for today. I am so happy that it is 2009. I already feel better. Last year was a tough year but I am at a very good place with my health right now and I know 2009 is going to be a great year! I even have come to peace with my sickness and feel like I understand why it happened and I am starting to get ready to share my experience with everyone. This has been something that I have thought long and hard about and feel wiser and know that I am now a better person because of this whole experience.

2009 is Divine

The theme for this year is LOVE!

I thought long and hard over the last few days about what is most important in my life for the next year. In the past I have focused on success, my company and friendships. And all of these area's are thriving beyond my expectations. The one area I must focus on is love in all it's forms. Self love for my health, love for my family and friends that have been so wonderful to me, love for that special someone in my life, love for my candles, my customers and love for my life.

In the last year I have been working hard on creating the best life I can, I was hit hard with my back injury but as the year comes to an end, I realized that I loved my life. I love my injury because it has taught me so much, it has helped me to slow down and really take care of myself. My injury has changed my direction and focus in life in a really good way. I love my candles and my company. I love that I can make products that truly have meaning for people, some I have not even met. I love that I am now in charge of my schedule and can take the time I need to work out everyday. I love that I have a team of professionals that I see on a regular basis who have helped me heal and thrive. I am so grateful to the new additions to my board of directors who are helping to move my company forward and into the next and much larger phase. I love my animals that have been with me for the last 8 years and truly love to spend time with me. Whatever room I am currently in, they all end up there wanting my attention. Or they just want to be close and feeling the positive energy. I love my changing body as it becomes smaller and stronger. I love my wonderful friends that make everyday a joy to be a part of.

Yesterday I spent the day with my good friend Jennifer while I taught her to make candles for her new book. She is calling me her Wax expert and professional candle maker. This title she gave me made me laugh! I never thought i would be an expert in any area. We spent the afternoon catching up, making candles and enjoying each others company. The best part was the two gold NEW YEARS FORTUNE candles I made. These are are like wish candles and are only made once a year. I took my candle to dinner with another friend and we made a wish at the table. Once I got home I lit the candle before midnight and it is still lit. I am going to keep it going until it is done so I can release all the love and gratitude I have towards the world and my life. It is glowing gold and my room smells magical.

This year is also about me opening up to love. I have had a very unusual life and love is something that has been hard for me. Moving around so much I could not get attached or I would end up missing that thing horribly when I moved again. So while I understand the idea not to become attached to material objects, attachments to people have been hard. But I am now opening up to love in all it's forms. This summer would have been so much worse if I had not been so down that I realized the only way to survive was to open up and let people love me. I am continuing this quest as my life becomes richer with meaning and more beautiful. One way that love has changed my life is that I can now allow people to just be themselves in whatever phase they are in. No more judgment or fear, I can stand strong next to someone and hold space for them to be whomever they are. This has been a lesson that I am completely grateful for, I don't want to have to change for someone and I want them to feel the same way around me. This has allowed for deep connections and meaningful experiences.

So I hope that everyone has thought about their personal theme for the year! 2009 is going to be so much better than 2008. I hope everyone has a great year.

New Years Eve

Tomorrow is a very exciting day!

New Years Eve is the time to put the past to rest and look towards the future with excitement! I will be spending the morning in the pool which is my new favorite e thing to do. Then a lovely afternoon of candle making at my studio which will end with a new years fortune candle for the both of us and lastly, I will make my intention list for 2009.

My health has been improving lately. I have been trying to get to the pool everyday. It has actually been going really well. Much like walking this summer, I am now trying to spend a few hours a day in the pool. Not only does it warm me up so that I can get through this winter, but it has also helped me get over the latest pain hump. So I am happy to go swim with the older ladies that make up my senior citizens class. Yeah, I may look like a youngster but my spine is the spine of a 90 year old!

Life is changing and my outlook has changed for the better!
I can't wait for the new year.

2008 coming to a close

Even though the Solstice already happened, 2008 is almost over according to our modern calendars. This last week that I have been snowed in has been a tough week of reflection. So many things have been going through my mind. I am ready for a fresh start!

This year has been physically and emotionally tough yet I feel more enlighten and clear on what is truly important to me. I have learned that my body is the most important thing to me right now. I am in a race against time because of my spine. It is daunting to realize that one day I will not be able to walk or move around like I do now. Yet, through all this health madness, I have come to realize how simple I want life to be. I have a clear vision of what I want to do with my life and it revolves around my health, my family, my friends and my candles. Everything else is just noise and distraction to me. In the past I put other people and jobs before my health and happiness. Not anymore! When I am on my own life becomes easier, more magical, lucky and meaningful. I am no longer confused or depressed. I am in focus and very happy to be exactly where I am right now.

I have learned, I have changed, I have grown up and matured into the person I always wanted to be. It is a great feeling to realize that with intention work, life has a focus and dreams do come true. Someone told me that the stage I am in is like a butterfly before it comes out of the cocoon. I have to do this process alone so that I when I come back into society I will be more beautiful and peaceful than before. My injury this summer has allowed for me to work through the emotional aspect of learning that I will not always be able to run around like I once was able too. I have come to peace with my situation and allowed myself to grow into a very positive space. Self love and care is the most important thing to each of us. Without this balance I have suffered and watched other's suffer as well. This balance is something that is so delicate and hard to achieve but once I got there, miracles happened all around me.

I want to share this balance with all the people that I come into contact with. I have learned what the extremes look like on both ends and now I know what the balance looks like and it is wonderful. My spine injury has been the best thing that could have happened to me. In many ways it has taught me the importance of being alone but also the importance of community and being able to depend on loved ones. This summer without the help from my father and other very close friends, I would not have been able to move. On the other hand, I spent a lot of time alone this summer coming to peace with myself. I now understand how important living a healthy lifestyle is, everything from yoga, swimming, fresh fruits and veggies to clean air and living life in the slow lane. I still have ambition and dreams, I still want to make the best candles out there and to grow my company into a large and stable company but I will do it a very different way from now on. My company will be built on balance and self care. I must practice what I preach and I am finally at that point. I was so excited to see the Cover of O magazine all about balance and self care. I read the magazine with an eye of self reflection and I am proud to say that I am finally able to say that my life is balanced and full of intention and peace.

2009 is going to be an amazing year!

So many exciting things!

For the last two years I have had a secret hero.
A few years ago I read a little blurb about a company called Bramble Berry Inc. It is a soap making company that not only has a signature line of goods but also has a wonderful store in Bellingham, WA. One of my big plans this summer before I was hurt was to drive up to Bellingham to check out the store. I have always wanted to meet the lady who started this company. Well today I was checking in my emails and I noticed that someone left a comment on my solstice blog. I followed the link and found out that it is in fact my secret hero who found my blog and was kind enough to leave a message. This makes my heart soar and fills me with holiday cheer! Anne-Marie if you are out there, send me an email and let's set up a date for coffee! I would love to meet you and bring you some candles. You are an inspiration and hero of mine!

In other exciting news, it looks like my candles are warming the hearts of many people back East. I just found out that the candles that I shipped back for the sale in NYC are being bought as Client Gifts for some very exciting people and companies. I can not reveal too many details but these contacts are very good contacts for Odessa's Herbals. And actually this news marks an intention I made over 10 years ago. During my time in NYC I had a friend that made these beautiful throw blankets. She received an order for 20 blankets to be given by a very popular and powerful artist who also does a lot of work in the magazine/catalog world. He has very high end clients and friends. I was very excited for my friend and I remember thinking to myself "I intend one day to create a product that he will give to his friends and clients as a holiday gift". This was before I had created Odessa's Herbals and even before I was interested in business. All I knew was that this single act was a dream of mine that I put down on paper as an intention. Skip ten years ahead, a lot of lessons and self reflection learned and poof! I found out today that he is giving my candles as his holiday gift. I just keep smiling and shaking my head watching the way the universe works even when I am bed ridden and sick.

I keep reflecting back on this year and how I truly feel like I have found my life's purpose. I can not imagine a better way to help people and share my personal gifts with the world. When I am on the right path, life becomes so magical and meaningful. I truly hope that everyone I meet and everyone that receives one of my candles can feel this amazing energy and pass it on.

It has snowed so much here and it just keeps coming. I have given upon trying to walk because it is so hard to walk and one fall, well that would just be really bad news for me. So I am staying inside, cleaning and spending quality time with my animals. I just bought some really exciting new books so I will be happy for another few days but I need to get to my studio. I miss candle making and have a few more presents to make before the holidays are over.

Happy Solstice!

It has been snowing nonstop for the last 24 hours here in Seattle. I had planned on a winter solstice dinner with a friend of mine but alas, I am snowed in and he is across town. So instead of a cozy dinner, I have been thinking about the fact that this is the true New Years Eve. What are my intentions for the upcoming year? What do I want to Manifest this year? What direction do I want to move towards?

This year has been such a lesson about Health and Wellness as well as Balance. HWB as I call it. So many of my desires in 2009 revolve around these three words. Health with my body, Wellness with how I live my life and Balance in my everyday life. The key is to live with all three parts have to be practiced at once.

I am really looking forward to this new year. It feels very different in energy for last year. Last year it was a dark winter and I felt heavy at the time. This year has been a really nice fall with a slam of East Coast winter and mix that with the Midwest Sunshine in very cold weather and I am feeling bright and Sunny. And with my recent changes in my body I feel light and strong. So this new year feels good!

I am off to take my lovely dog for a walk in the 10 plus inches of snow and take some pictures. She is so happy to run around and play. It is very sweet.

New Book

I have been trying to figure out how to blog about my new favorite book but it has been hard because I loved this book for so many personal reasons. I read "Julia's Chocolates" by Cathy Lamb this week and loved it. Julie's Chocolates was a nice combination of "Garden Secrets" and "Practical Magic". It was an empowering book for me. Sometimes I read books that fill my heart with love and more importantly hope, this is one of those books. It did not have as much magical realism as I like and I hope that Cathy adds more of this in her next few books and I have a feeling she will be. But if you want a nice easy read that will touch your heart then I recommend this book.

It has been snowing and freezing for the last week or so. It is very unusual weather for the northwest but I am enjoying myself. It has been a while since I have been at my studio, I even had a dream about candle making last night! As soon as I can get over there I will. I have been creating new candles and spending a lot of time perfecting the art of candle making. I will be starting candle making classes next year and I received my first booking this week. I am so excited to spend an evening sharing my love of candle making with my love of teaching people about intention and how to create the life they desire. Over the next few weeks I am going to create an outline of my talk. There is so much to share with these women and I am really excited about this evening.

Lately I have been slowing down in life. While I do not love living in the slow lane, I have been able to really see how magical life is by slowing down this much. Everything in life seems to be perfectly planned and desires become reality so easily when life is lived this slow. I have been reflecting about how out of touch with community our modern life seems to have taken us and how even though we are in a horrible recession, there is still energy for change and creativity that will take us forward and connect us with our local communities once again. As a consumer we have so much power to stop buying products made by machines or overseas and we can empower the companies in the USA to start producing high grade products that support all of us. We all need to just slow down a little in life.

Today I Feel Very Small In My Body

Two steps forward, one step back. This seems to be my motto lately. I have good days and bad, good weeks and slow weeks. This has been a slow week. I am still juggling my desire to get out and see people with my exhaustion level. It is hard to do more than one thing a day and if I really push myself, well then I could be in bed for days afterwards. There is still so much to learn about my new body and what it needs. I am losing weight from this experience and it is not hard at all. It feels like it is just coming off easily. But a lot of this is due to my stomach being so sensitive from all the medication I now have to take. I can hardly eat and when I do it is such a small amount. Of course, all the walks and physical therapy are also helping me to become smaller.

Actually, this week I started my first Senior Citizens Water class. I have to start small and work my way up to being able to do so many things. It felt really great to be in the water. It was a little cold but after the hour long class I had the "wonderful day at the beach" feeling. It also helped that I sat in the Sauna for 30 mins or so as I talked to a very interesting woman about intention work.

This sauna experience brought my core body temperature up so that the cold storm we are having right now is not bothering me at all. Last night I went for a midnight walk in the snow with my dog. I let her be off lease because it was so quiet and peaceful out plus she LOVES the snow. It was almost an east coast snow storm with the large flakes and the orange sky. It was dreamy and so much fun! Of course today I was totally exhausted from all these activities but it was well worth it.

I heard that the New York Sale was a success and everybody loved the candles. I can't wait to see some pictures from the event. I am just happy to know that I was able to ship all those candles and none of them were hurt!

I have a very busy candle week this week. Loads of deliveries to make and new candles to finish before the holidays. Plus, the Solstice and New Years Eve is coming up. These are my personal days of the year when I reflect on the past and look towards the future. What are some of your intentions this year? I will have to think about mine. So many things have changed from last year that I really must think about the new list I will be making on New Years Day.

What a wonderful evening!

Last night's party at Kelley Moore's house was amazing! My date was the perfect gentleman, my friends ended up being invited as well, old friends that I had not seen since before my spinal disease took me down this summer were there and new people were brought into my life. I loved the whole evening! I had an amazing flapperish looking outfit that I had just bought the day of the party and I managed to find a new makeup line I love. It was a busy prepping day for the party but well worth energy.

Today was an art show by my good friend and dinner with her husband and baby. It was so much fun. I can not believe how busy The South Park Art Under $100.00 show was! South Park is a very cute little section of Seattle near Georgetown. I was only able to stay for a few minutes but I was so proud of her.

My energy level is really low due to all my activities yesterday so I have been resting today. I am still trying to learn to manage my body and my energy level without running myself to exhaustion. In many ways I still feel like a stranger in my new post spine injury and my energy levels are just one example.

Tomorrow is candle making and preparing for the week.
My candle sale in NYC is still on for next weekend. I wish I could be there since I just found out my favorite living photographer has a show and video installation at the Whitney right now. But alas, I am still too ill. Next time!

Amazing Day!

I know I should not be excited about this, but today we had the most amazing sunny day here in Seattle. (global warming!) It was a little chilly in the morning but by the afternoon..... Perfection!
I had lunch with a friend and then we drove down to the beach with my dog and had a great time. My face feels nice and happy--full of vitamin D. I was able to take my jacket off and play on the shore for hours. Ahmi was off leash since we were the only one around and she loved it. I am constantly amazed by how beautiful Seattle is. I even saw some cherry trees blooming.

So tomorrow starts the holiday parties. Actually, I missed two this week while preparing for the NYC show. So tomorrow is my first party and it is being thrown by Kelley Moore, our local kick ass Martha Stewart. I am going to dress in clothing that has never been soiled by wax and even wear heels. I am hoping to get my date all lined up and put him in some of his fancy new clothes he just got thanks to his big new contract. I can't wait!

The candles arrive next week for the show..... I have been a little nervous since this will be the first time my candles have been for sale without me! I know the lady who is selling them and she is amazing so I know it will go well but sometimes at night when I am tired I just get so exhausted and nervous!

I am very happy to report that the last few days have been really good days for my back. It is healing and I am getting stronger everyday. I almost felt normal today. I had a slight bit of pain but for the most part, it was like old times.

So many things

Ok, it has been forever since I last posted.
So many things to update everyone about. I was diagnosed with a Back Disease where my disks are falling apart, it is working it's way up my spine. Right now I am in good shape. I am up and walking again, I only have a slight limp and some times I need to take it slow. But it is a far place from this summer when I could not even walk around the block. This is a life long disease that may or may not get worse and has no cure. I have been told not to think about the future and for the most part I am not, but sometimes I do get down and worry what I will look like in 5, 10 or even 20 years. Right now my back looks like the back of an 85 year old so on the inside...... What will it look like in the future?

I was supposed to fly to the east coast last week but had to cancel at the last moment. I was simply not ready to travel and I am still not ready. But I can see myself traveling in a few short months so that makes me happy. I had a lovely holiday with my family and spent a lot of time with my nephew. I also made intention candles all week long and fell in love with my candles again.... I am so happy when I leave my studio!

My candles will be for sale in New York City next weekend at a huge show. My cousin Michele O'Hana will be selling them for me and I can not wait to hear how it goes. I wish I could be there but next time. Plus, when I go back east I always stay upstate so the city is lost on me. Even when I lived there I spent most of my time ready, walking and writing. I am too much of a country girl at heart. Anyways, if you want the address of the show, just send me an email and I will send it along. I know it will be around Broadway and Broom St in SOHO.

I am also preparing for the magazine spread featuring my candles that will be coming out in Seattle Metropolitan magazine next month. I will have more information about that in the next few weeks. And our local Party Planner expert, Kelley Moore is featuring Odessa's Herbals in an upcoming newsletter! So much press lately and it makes me so happy!

A few weeks ago I had a wonderful client throw a party for her girlfriends that featured my candles. It was an amazing afternoon and even the sun came out to shine for us! I am so thankful to Kerri for sharing her passion for my candles and she is truly my angel right now. I will be linking to her website and will post a little bio about her. She is having another candle party in January so let me know if you would like to attend. I am hoping to make this a monthly event.

My heart is full of love for so many people right now. I had a wonderful lunch with a man that I adore today and it just made my day. He is someone who is very special to me and I am so thankful he came back into my life. Sometimes people come back into our lives that just love us like nobody else can. He has always been very special to me but now that we are older, it is just deeper and more rewarding!


Ok, enough of that. I am off to finish up getting everything ready for NYC and then to wash up and sleep. I had a long day of working and walking so I must crash very soon. All I know is that my health is getting better everyday and I am feeling very magical right now. Everything I touch seems to just light up and flow in a very good way. This is the perfect energy for the holiday season!

Staying Flexible

This month has been my lesson about staying flexible. I have been shifting my time from the tealights I produce for Glassy Baby to the Pillars and tealights I make for Odessa's Herbals. It is a very loving and positive change of pace for me. I adore Glassy Baby but my heart and truelove are with Odessa's Herbals and making candles with intention. So I feel blessed to have my customers new and old and I look forward to hearing your wonderful stories.

On the health front I have recently had a bit of an miracle happen. Half of the miracle is good old fashion work which I have spent almost every single day focusing on my spine. but I do believe that a little bit of magic has also helped me to finally become almost totally pain free! I am currently detoxing off all the pain medication and feeling better everyday. I can move freely and have even started to hike a little bit around the huge park I live near.

I will post more today as I must run out for my morning walk but I just wanted to get something up to let my good friends know I am still alive and doing really well.

Not sure what to do

I suddenly have more time in the day to get all those little things I need to do, done. I am not sure how this happened and I am not sure what to do with this new time I have but I am slowly filling it up. As I mentioned my pain levels are very low and my energy and strength are gaining so I feel safe to say..... I am coming back to a normal life.

I never thought I would see the light at the end of the tunnel but I feel like I am getting a handle on my condition and I am working towards healing. I feel like I have grown physical, mentally and emotionally while dealing with my health. Things have changed for me and I am starting to grow into my authentic self. This last sentence makes me smile. I am changing in some ways but also returning to a person that I left behind years ago. But this is the person that I am destined to become. I hope this makes sense but if not, just know that I am happier than I have ever been and glad to be working hard. I love my life and my company and am grateful for everything that has happened over these last few years. Sometimes you have to leave a place to realize it is truly your home. ( not a physical space or home)

My holiday orders are flying in and my holiday plans are filling up. But it looks like a good old friend will be visiting Portland at the start of the new year and I will be booking a hotel room for the night in P-town. I also want to do a little business in Portland and .... Shopping! But of course, I will have the old friend reunion dinner and drinks. Nothing too crazy but a nice little visit.

Ok, I must walk now and clean. It is time to move and get some more work down outside my little computer space. Have a great weekend!

I love Una

Today I met Susan who runs Una Clothing and I am in love. She brought with her some of her wonderful arm warmers and I did not take them off all day. I even wore them into my night out on the town. My arms were so warm and I love having my wrists covered. Susan also brought some of her other items and I can not wait to wear them.
Susan was such a delight to spend some time with and I look forward to seeing her again.

My section of Seattle, where the studio is and where I spend all my time is in The New York Times today. I have not read the article but I can tell you all that my studio is right between each hood and I love both of them. Mostly I can be seen in Fremont right now because the walk from my studio to Fremont goes along a canal that is beautiful. But, I do spend a lot of time in Ballard. Two of my favorite places to eat are in that section and Ballard is still small enough that people begin to know who you are and enjoy your company.

I am exhausted so I must keep this short. Life has been good lately. Today, I woke up with no pain. This is the first time this has happened in 8 months. I still had some pain during the day and I am not totally recovered but I am happy to report that things are getting better and I am getting out more.

The other big news to report is that Glassy Baby has opened their third shop! This is so exciting and exhausting. I now have more candles to make and lucky for me that my back is allowing all this work. My body is coming back stronger!
However, if you have any holiday orders get them in now. I will be working like a mad lady to get all the Glassy Baby candles finished and all my special orders done. It will be hard but a really good thing and I am ready for this experience. Just let me sleep all January because I will be exhausted.

Perfect Fall Evening

Last night I headed over to West Seattle to have dinner with some good friends. It was so much fun not only because I can finally eat a little bit after the last six months of not being able to eat, but also after dinner we all put our fall clothing on and went for a lovely walk. Lately I have been trying to combine my social interactions with my need to walk for my back. I want to see people, I just can not have sitting and eating being the focal point of our evening. I have to spend so many hours walking everyday that I now prefer a walk to dinner or drinks.

Last night we walk around their new neighborhood in West Seattle and admired the fall colors. Their little one year old baby carried roses in her hand while she walked down the street. We laughed and enjoyed the evening stroll as I updated them on my back situation and what new developments have occurred. Like for instance, I took a pain reliever the other day that actually worked. All summer long, no matter how many pail killers I had to take, I was never pain free. It was very hard to be in that much pain and on such high doses of pain killers and yet still do not feel any relief. But that is what it was like. I was always in horrible pain. So I am getting better and my pain levels are going down. So exciting!

I can come with a belly full of autumn stew and mashed potatoes and I took another walk with my father and Ahmi before heading off to bed. Even though I had walked at my friends house, I knew that I had also sat down for dinner and this action meant I need to walk for another hour so that when I woke up in the morning, my pain would not be as bad.

Actually, I am off for my first walk of the day. I will take my camera and post some fall pictures.

Midnight walks

Over the last six months I have been watching as my body changes and gets stronger. I love having a Physical Therapist - Coach for working out and getting my body back in a healthy state. Twice a week for over than an hour I worked with Laura watching over me. It has been years since I worked out with weights and I forgot how much I loved it. I am lucky in that my body responds to weight lifting and sculpting. So my body is changing along with what feels like everything else in life.

This week has been slow. My back has been bad so I have been slower than I like. But this has given me loads of time to take slow walks and notice the amazing fall colors in the trees. It has been breath taking! I am still spending 4 to 5 hours a day walking and digesting the change of seasons.

Ok.... I am sleepy. Tomorrow is the end of the candles for the magazine and cleaning up the studio.

Today was the perfect day

I started out my day with a walk to the coffee shop with Ahmi. I bought a paper and read it cover to cover except for the comics. I just did not have time to read those since I went into the studio to keep working on the candles for Seattle Metropolitan magazine. I worry that I have not made enough candles and of course they never look good enough.

After the studio I came home for a nap and another walk with Ahmi. It is so beautiful outside right now. Perfect fall weather!

So many things are happening right now to my company and friends who are doing there own thing. Kelley Moore is in NYC for her first spot on The View. A little birdie tells me that she is going to give a shout out to Glassy Baby! I am so excited to watch The View on Thursday.

I will be having lunch with Jennifer J. who is my main lady at Seattle Opera. She is so awesome and helped to get my candles into their gift bags for their spring fundraiser. I have been wanting to see her for so long but my back sort of derailed this until now.

Speaking of my back, I think that I am finally able to understand the emotional aspect of my illness this summer. Before I was in so much pain all the time that all I could think about was getting rid of the pain. Now that the pain is finally getting better and there are even moments of the day when I realize that I am not in pain, I have been having moments where I get emotional over the giant life changes I have ahead of me. I walking around the book store in Fremont looking for a new book. After twenty minutes I realized that I was looking for a book that I could relate too about my back accident. Alas, this book does not exist or the bookstore did not have a copy but I did pick up a copy of this photography book about what women's bodies really look like. I heard the author on NPR one day talking about how she wanted teenage girls to get an idea about all the different body types that are out there and that trying to be perfect does not exist. I was looking through this book when I stopped one page to discover a woman who had a scar on her back from the top of the spine to her thigh area. She was around my age and had a similar experience. She was struck suddenly with a disease that would forever change how she moved, what her life could be like and what kind of events she could be a part of. She is now a dancer! I can not believe it. The best part of her biography was the last line. It said something like I now live for my body and center my life around it. It sums up what I have been feeling. I now have to create a life around my back. I can no longer live a life without intention. Every aspect of my life revolves around my body and my back. I can not sit for longer than five minutes, I can not lay in bed all day, I must walk for almost 4 hours a day and workout with a trainer. My life revolves around loving and caring for my back and there is nothing that is going to stop me now!

This photograph and story brought tears to my eyes. I finally found that little connection with someone who has gone through a similar experience. My back is breaking down at a very fast rate but there are others out there that have experienced this and found a place of love and peace with the situation.

I will find out the name of this book and post the link in a little bit.