Even after so much change in my life over the last two years, I am so grateful for where my life is right now. Today I was able to spend some quality time with a friend who has been having a hard time this week. I took her to some of my favorite stores in Seattle. I know that this may seem like such a small thing, but for me after this last year of sickness. I would not have wanted to be anywhere else. I was able to help someone who has really been for me over the last two years and someone that has really been kind to me while I was so sick.
I am reading a couple of books right now. The new book I am reading is by Martha Beck. She is a life coach and contributor to the O magazine. The best part about this book so far is that I know I do not need to read it. The book is all about finding your essential self and your "north star". I have found this in my life. I get to spend my days the way I want, I get to have fun or work hard and I am my own boss. But I am reading the book none the less because as Oprah talked about this week, sometimes we fall off the wagon but we never stop evolving.
I am taking the evening off from social events and just spending it with my animals and father. This weekend I will be in the studio all weekend with breaks for swimming!
Friday, January 09, 2009
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Exhausted!
I have been going to the pool 6 days a week and I have to tell everyone, I am exhausted! I always go into the pool thinking, oh I will just do a light day. Well almost two hours later I have pushed myself hard because it feels so good to be moving again. Of course, when I get home I can hardly stay awake but my body is getting stronger so I will keep it up. My back is actually doing a little worse right now but this is OK. The nerve is not used to so much movement and it has to adjust accordingly. I can feel my nerve from my leg all the way into my foot. It's weird to be able to feel something like a nerve under my skin but I can feel it.
Tomorrow is the start of candle making for 2009. I have a lot of work to do. Last year was a hard year for a lot of my friends and I am making candles to help bring in 2009 for them. One candle I create this week is an education environment candle. This is a great candle for parents with young children that want to create an environment that will foster learning. It is also a candle I create for my cousin that is doing a PHD program at NYU. She needs a little boost to create a good study environment to keep her brain active. I can't wait to send this candle to her!
I am off to have dinner and then it is to bed. I am reading a new book for my book club and this book is amazing! It is nonfiction and so far I really like it. It is called Sin in the Second City. If you live in Seattle, shoot me an email if you are interested in joining the book club. It is located on Queen Anne and so much fun.
Tomorrow is the start of candle making for 2009. I have a lot of work to do. Last year was a hard year for a lot of my friends and I am making candles to help bring in 2009 for them. One candle I create this week is an education environment candle. This is a great candle for parents with young children that want to create an environment that will foster learning. It is also a candle I create for my cousin that is doing a PHD program at NYU. She needs a little boost to create a good study environment to keep her brain active. I can't wait to send this candle to her!
I am off to have dinner and then it is to bed. I am reading a new book for my book club and this book is amazing! It is nonfiction and so far I really like it. It is called Sin in the Second City. If you live in Seattle, shoot me an email if you are interested in joining the book club. It is located on Queen Anne and so much fun.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
My name is Aunty!
Today brought a great morning with my nephew. He was so happy to see me and was really excited when he realized I wore my PJ's up there. He loves his PJ's and it is hard to get him out of them in the morning. I was just happy to be snuggling with him on the couch while my sister was able to read the paper and wake up.
I went swimming today and what was supposed to be an easy day in the pool turned out to be a good but very hard work out. I thought I would just hangout in the deep end and do little exercises but then I just got so into what I was doing and pushing my body that after an hour I was exhausted! I felt great but very tired. I went into the sauna with my hair conditioner and applied it to my wet head. My poor hair has been suffering from all the chemicals in the pool. One of my first days at the pool I met a really nice lady that had conditioner in the Sauna with her. She said that she loved to put it on her hair in the sauna because it made her hair so soft afterwards. Well I can confirm this today. My hair is so soft today and curly. I think I will put it in my hair every other day because I no longer have the frizz or funky feeling hair that comes with spending everyday in the pool.
Tomorrow marks my return to the studio since the holidays. I am very excited to get back to work. I just received a large order from Glassy Baby and I am excited to make tea lights again. Plus, I need to get started on product development for the new year. I will keep you all posted on my new candles as I create them.
I went swimming today and what was supposed to be an easy day in the pool turned out to be a good but very hard work out. I thought I would just hangout in the deep end and do little exercises but then I just got so into what I was doing and pushing my body that after an hour I was exhausted! I felt great but very tired. I went into the sauna with my hair conditioner and applied it to my wet head. My poor hair has been suffering from all the chemicals in the pool. One of my first days at the pool I met a really nice lady that had conditioner in the Sauna with her. She said that she loved to put it on her hair in the sauna because it made her hair so soft afterwards. Well I can confirm this today. My hair is so soft today and curly. I think I will put it in my hair every other day because I no longer have the frizz or funky feeling hair that comes with spending everyday in the pool.
Tomorrow marks my return to the studio since the holidays. I am very excited to get back to work. I just received a large order from Glassy Baby and I am excited to make tea lights again. Plus, I need to get started on product development for the new year. I will keep you all posted on my new candles as I create them.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Drinking Coffee
Today it's sunny and I am out enjoying the weather. After a long morning of being in the pool and pushing myself to the next level, I am at a coffee house enjoying the afternoon. I feel like now that I am getting better and have more energy, there is so much to do. I will share my list with everyone to inspire you all to get all those little things done that need to get done.
1. Make labels for my candles - this is something I am on the fence about. On the one hand I would like people to know that they are my candles, on the other hand, I do not want to ruin the beauty of a product with no advertising on it. It is a fine line and my labels will be as minimal as possible so that my customers still feel like they are buying a piece of art.
2. Contact my ever growing board of directors - This has been something I have struggled with since last summer. Because I could not walk and I was to embarrassed to be scene in public when my nerve was dieing, I have meetings that still have not happened. Lucky for me everyone has been so wonderful about the delay and my nerve has almost fully healed and I no longer appear to have serious nerve damage in my legs.
3. Clean studio - I am in product development mode so it is time to be out with the old, in with the new. Plus, I already have dates filled this month of people that have reserved my studio to come and learn how to make candles, learn about intention work and just have a girls night in.
4. See all my friends! - This is the most fun of all my things to do. I can't wait to see all those people that I have been unable to visit with while I was sick. I have new and old friends that I miss so much. January is my month to let my hair lose and have a good time.
5. Set up my shopping cart online and my Etsy account - I am now in possession of a digital camera and a lap top so what out. My candles will be live soon enough! I will keep you all updated when I go live. I can not wait to be able to start shipping orders from strangers and dear friends alike!
6. Exercise 2 hours a day - This is a direct order from my Physical Therapist. It is the only way I will be able to keep the disease in my back from causing more damage as quickly as it has progressed in the past. I can not stop it but with moving around at least two hours a day, I can slow down the damage.
7. Try to blog 5 times a week - I know I was a total slacker in the past but I can not blame it on all the medications I have been taking. I am on a medical detox with my doctor and have cut down on almost all of my medications. I still have the nerve blocker, which is what has caused my brain to slow down but at least my energy level is raising and soon I will be off the nerve blocker.
I think this is it for today. I am so happy that it is 2009. I already feel better. Last year was a tough year but I am at a very good place with my health right now and I know 2009 is going to be a great year! I even have come to peace with my sickness and feel like I understand why it happened and I am starting to get ready to share my experience with everyone. This has been something that I have thought long and hard about and feel wiser and know that I am now a better person because of this whole experience.
1. Make labels for my candles - this is something I am on the fence about. On the one hand I would like people to know that they are my candles, on the other hand, I do not want to ruin the beauty of a product with no advertising on it. It is a fine line and my labels will be as minimal as possible so that my customers still feel like they are buying a piece of art.
2. Contact my ever growing board of directors - This has been something I have struggled with since last summer. Because I could not walk and I was to embarrassed to be scene in public when my nerve was dieing, I have meetings that still have not happened. Lucky for me everyone has been so wonderful about the delay and my nerve has almost fully healed and I no longer appear to have serious nerve damage in my legs.
3. Clean studio - I am in product development mode so it is time to be out with the old, in with the new. Plus, I already have dates filled this month of people that have reserved my studio to come and learn how to make candles, learn about intention work and just have a girls night in.
4. See all my friends! - This is the most fun of all my things to do. I can't wait to see all those people that I have been unable to visit with while I was sick. I have new and old friends that I miss so much. January is my month to let my hair lose and have a good time.
5. Set up my shopping cart online and my Etsy account - I am now in possession of a digital camera and a lap top so what out. My candles will be live soon enough! I will keep you all updated when I go live. I can not wait to be able to start shipping orders from strangers and dear friends alike!
6. Exercise 2 hours a day - This is a direct order from my Physical Therapist. It is the only way I will be able to keep the disease in my back from causing more damage as quickly as it has progressed in the past. I can not stop it but with moving around at least two hours a day, I can slow down the damage.
7. Try to blog 5 times a week - I know I was a total slacker in the past but I can not blame it on all the medications I have been taking. I am on a medical detox with my doctor and have cut down on almost all of my medications. I still have the nerve blocker, which is what has caused my brain to slow down but at least my energy level is raising and soon I will be off the nerve blocker.
I think this is it for today. I am so happy that it is 2009. I already feel better. Last year was a tough year but I am at a very good place with my health right now and I know 2009 is going to be a great year! I even have come to peace with my sickness and feel like I understand why it happened and I am starting to get ready to share my experience with everyone. This has been something that I have thought long and hard about and feel wiser and know that I am now a better person because of this whole experience.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
2009 is Divine
The theme for this year is LOVE!
I thought long and hard over the last few days about what is most important in my life for the next year. In the past I have focused on success, my company and friendships. And all of these area's are thriving beyond my expectations. The one area I must focus on is love in all it's forms. Self love for my health, love for my family and friends that have been so wonderful to me, love for that special someone in my life, love for my candles, my customers and love for my life.
In the last year I have been working hard on creating the best life I can, I was hit hard with my back injury but as the year comes to an end, I realized that I loved my life. I love my injury because it has taught me so much, it has helped me to slow down and really take care of myself. My injury has changed my direction and focus in life in a really good way. I love my candles and my company. I love that I can make products that truly have meaning for people, some I have not even met. I love that I am now in charge of my schedule and can take the time I need to work out everyday. I love that I have a team of professionals that I see on a regular basis who have helped me heal and thrive. I am so grateful to the new additions to my board of directors who are helping to move my company forward and into the next and much larger phase. I love my animals that have been with me for the last 8 years and truly love to spend time with me. Whatever room I am currently in, they all end up there wanting my attention. Or they just want to be close and feeling the positive energy. I love my changing body as it becomes smaller and stronger. I love my wonderful friends that make everyday a joy to be a part of.
Yesterday I spent the day with my good friend Jennifer while I taught her to make candles for her new book. She is calling me her Wax expert and professional candle maker. This title she gave me made me laugh! I never thought i would be an expert in any area. We spent the afternoon catching up, making candles and enjoying each others company. The best part was the two gold NEW YEARS FORTUNE candles I made. These are are like wish candles and are only made once a year. I took my candle to dinner with another friend and we made a wish at the table. Once I got home I lit the candle before midnight and it is still lit. I am going to keep it going until it is done so I can release all the love and gratitude I have towards the world and my life. It is glowing gold and my room smells magical.
This year is also about me opening up to love. I have had a very unusual life and love is something that has been hard for me. Moving around so much I could not get attached or I would end up missing that thing horribly when I moved again. So while I understand the idea not to become attached to material objects, attachments to people have been hard. But I am now opening up to love in all it's forms. This summer would have been so much worse if I had not been so down that I realized the only way to survive was to open up and let people love me. I am continuing this quest as my life becomes richer with meaning and more beautiful. One way that love has changed my life is that I can now allow people to just be themselves in whatever phase they are in. No more judgment or fear, I can stand strong next to someone and hold space for them to be whomever they are. This has been a lesson that I am completely grateful for, I don't want to have to change for someone and I want them to feel the same way around me. This has allowed for deep connections and meaningful experiences.
So I hope that everyone has thought about their personal theme for the year! 2009 is going to be so much better than 2008. I hope everyone has a great year.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
New Years Eve
Tomorrow is a very exciting day!
New Years Eve is the time to put the past to rest and look towards the future with excitement! I will be spending the morning in the pool which is my new favorite e thing to do. Then a lovely afternoon of candle making at my studio which will end with a new years fortune candle for the both of us and lastly, I will make my intention list for 2009.
My health has been improving lately. I have been trying to get to the pool everyday. It has actually been going really well. Much like walking this summer, I am now trying to spend a few hours a day in the pool. Not only does it warm me up so that I can get through this winter, but it has also helped me get over the latest pain hump. So I am happy to go swim with the older ladies that make up my senior citizens class. Yeah, I may look like a youngster but my spine is the spine of a 90 year old!
Life is changing and my outlook has changed for the better!
I can't wait for the new year.
New Years Eve is the time to put the past to rest and look towards the future with excitement! I will be spending the morning in the pool which is my new favorite e thing to do. Then a lovely afternoon of candle making at my studio which will end with a new years fortune candle for the both of us and lastly, I will make my intention list for 2009.
My health has been improving lately. I have been trying to get to the pool everyday. It has actually been going really well. Much like walking this summer, I am now trying to spend a few hours a day in the pool. Not only does it warm me up so that I can get through this winter, but it has also helped me get over the latest pain hump. So I am happy to go swim with the older ladies that make up my senior citizens class. Yeah, I may look like a youngster but my spine is the spine of a 90 year old!
Life is changing and my outlook has changed for the better!
I can't wait for the new year.
Friday, December 26, 2008
2008 coming to a close
Even though the Solstice already happened, 2008 is almost over according to our modern calendars. This last week that I have been snowed in has been a tough week of reflection. So many things have been going through my mind. I am ready for a fresh start!
This year has been physically and emotionally tough yet I feel more enlighten and clear on what is truly important to me. I have learned that my body is the most important thing to me right now. I am in a race against time because of my spine. It is daunting to realize that one day I will not be able to walk or move around like I do now. Yet, through all this health madness, I have come to realize how simple I want life to be. I have a clear vision of what I want to do with my life and it revolves around my health, my family, my friends and my candles. Everything else is just noise and distraction to me. In the past I put other people and jobs before my health and happiness. Not anymore! When I am on my own life becomes easier, more magical, lucky and meaningful. I am no longer confused or depressed. I am in focus and very happy to be exactly where I am right now.
I have learned, I have changed, I have grown up and matured into the person I always wanted to be. It is a great feeling to realize that with intention work, life has a focus and dreams do come true. Someone told me that the stage I am in is like a butterfly before it comes out of the cocoon. I have to do this process alone so that I when I come back into society I will be more beautiful and peaceful than before. My injury this summer has allowed for me to work through the emotional aspect of learning that I will not always be able to run around like I once was able too. I have come to peace with my situation and allowed myself to grow into a very positive space. Self love and care is the most important thing to each of us. Without this balance I have suffered and watched other's suffer as well. This balance is something that is so delicate and hard to achieve but once I got there, miracles happened all around me.
I want to share this balance with all the people that I come into contact with. I have learned what the extremes look like on both ends and now I know what the balance looks like and it is wonderful. My spine injury has been the best thing that could have happened to me. In many ways it has taught me the importance of being alone but also the importance of community and being able to depend on loved ones. This summer without the help from my father and other very close friends, I would not have been able to move. On the other hand, I spent a lot of time alone this summer coming to peace with myself. I now understand how important living a healthy lifestyle is, everything from yoga, swimming, fresh fruits and veggies to clean air and living life in the slow lane. I still have ambition and dreams, I still want to make the best candles out there and to grow my company into a large and stable company but I will do it a very different way from now on. My company will be built on balance and self care. I must practice what I preach and I am finally at that point. I was so excited to see the Cover of O magazine all about balance and self care. I read the magazine with an eye of self reflection and I am proud to say that I am finally able to say that my life is balanced and full of intention and peace.
2009 is going to be an amazing year!
This year has been physically and emotionally tough yet I feel more enlighten and clear on what is truly important to me. I have learned that my body is the most important thing to me right now. I am in a race against time because of my spine. It is daunting to realize that one day I will not be able to walk or move around like I do now. Yet, through all this health madness, I have come to realize how simple I want life to be. I have a clear vision of what I want to do with my life and it revolves around my health, my family, my friends and my candles. Everything else is just noise and distraction to me. In the past I put other people and jobs before my health and happiness. Not anymore! When I am on my own life becomes easier, more magical, lucky and meaningful. I am no longer confused or depressed. I am in focus and very happy to be exactly where I am right now.
I have learned, I have changed, I have grown up and matured into the person I always wanted to be. It is a great feeling to realize that with intention work, life has a focus and dreams do come true. Someone told me that the stage I am in is like a butterfly before it comes out of the cocoon. I have to do this process alone so that I when I come back into society I will be more beautiful and peaceful than before. My injury this summer has allowed for me to work through the emotional aspect of learning that I will not always be able to run around like I once was able too. I have come to peace with my situation and allowed myself to grow into a very positive space. Self love and care is the most important thing to each of us. Without this balance I have suffered and watched other's suffer as well. This balance is something that is so delicate and hard to achieve but once I got there, miracles happened all around me.
I want to share this balance with all the people that I come into contact with. I have learned what the extremes look like on both ends and now I know what the balance looks like and it is wonderful. My spine injury has been the best thing that could have happened to me. In many ways it has taught me the importance of being alone but also the importance of community and being able to depend on loved ones. This summer without the help from my father and other very close friends, I would not have been able to move. On the other hand, I spent a lot of time alone this summer coming to peace with myself. I now understand how important living a healthy lifestyle is, everything from yoga, swimming, fresh fruits and veggies to clean air and living life in the slow lane. I still have ambition and dreams, I still want to make the best candles out there and to grow my company into a large and stable company but I will do it a very different way from now on. My company will be built on balance and self care. I must practice what I preach and I am finally at that point. I was so excited to see the Cover of O magazine all about balance and self care. I read the magazine with an eye of self reflection and I am proud to say that I am finally able to say that my life is balanced and full of intention and peace.
2009 is going to be an amazing year!
Monday, December 22, 2008
So many exciting things!
For the last two years I have had a secret hero.
A few years ago I read a little blurb about a company called Bramble Berry Inc. It is a soap making company that not only has a signature line of goods but also has a wonderful store in Bellingham, WA. One of my big plans this summer before I was hurt was to drive up to Bellingham to check out the store. I have always wanted to meet the lady who started this company. Well today I was checking in my emails and I noticed that someone left a comment on my solstice blog. I followed the link and found out that it is in fact my secret hero who found my blog and was kind enough to leave a message. This makes my heart soar and fills me with holiday cheer! Anne-Marie if you are out there, send me an email and let's set up a date for coffee! I would love to meet you and bring you some candles. You are an inspiration and hero of mine!
In other exciting news, it looks like my candles are warming the hearts of many people back East. I just found out that the candles that I shipped back for the sale in NYC are being bought as Client Gifts for some very exciting people and companies. I can not reveal too many details but these contacts are very good contacts for Odessa's Herbals. And actually this news marks an intention I made over 10 years ago. During my time in NYC I had a friend that made these beautiful throw blankets. She received an order for 20 blankets to be given by a very popular and powerful artist who also does a lot of work in the magazine/catalog world. He has very high end clients and friends. I was very excited for my friend and I remember thinking to myself "I intend one day to create a product that he will give to his friends and clients as a holiday gift". This was before I had created Odessa's Herbals and even before I was interested in business. All I knew was that this single act was a dream of mine that I put down on paper as an intention. Skip ten years ahead, a lot of lessons and self reflection learned and poof! I found out today that he is giving my candles as his holiday gift. I just keep smiling and shaking my head watching the way the universe works even when I am bed ridden and sick.
I keep reflecting back on this year and how I truly feel like I have found my life's purpose. I can not imagine a better way to help people and share my personal gifts with the world. When I am on the right path, life becomes so magical and meaningful. I truly hope that everyone I meet and everyone that receives one of my candles can feel this amazing energy and pass it on.
It has snowed so much here and it just keeps coming. I have given upon trying to walk because it is so hard to walk and one fall, well that would just be really bad news for me. So I am staying inside, cleaning and spending quality time with my animals. I just bought some really exciting new books so I will be happy for another few days but I need to get to my studio. I miss candle making and have a few more presents to make before the holidays are over.
A few years ago I read a little blurb about a company called Bramble Berry Inc. It is a soap making company that not only has a signature line of goods but also has a wonderful store in Bellingham, WA. One of my big plans this summer before I was hurt was to drive up to Bellingham to check out the store. I have always wanted to meet the lady who started this company. Well today I was checking in my emails and I noticed that someone left a comment on my solstice blog. I followed the link and found out that it is in fact my secret hero who found my blog and was kind enough to leave a message. This makes my heart soar and fills me with holiday cheer! Anne-Marie if you are out there, send me an email and let's set up a date for coffee! I would love to meet you and bring you some candles. You are an inspiration and hero of mine!
In other exciting news, it looks like my candles are warming the hearts of many people back East. I just found out that the candles that I shipped back for the sale in NYC are being bought as Client Gifts for some very exciting people and companies. I can not reveal too many details but these contacts are very good contacts for Odessa's Herbals. And actually this news marks an intention I made over 10 years ago. During my time in NYC I had a friend that made these beautiful throw blankets. She received an order for 20 blankets to be given by a very popular and powerful artist who also does a lot of work in the magazine/catalog world. He has very high end clients and friends. I was very excited for my friend and I remember thinking to myself "I intend one day to create a product that he will give to his friends and clients as a holiday gift". This was before I had created Odessa's Herbals and even before I was interested in business. All I knew was that this single act was a dream of mine that I put down on paper as an intention. Skip ten years ahead, a lot of lessons and self reflection learned and poof! I found out today that he is giving my candles as his holiday gift. I just keep smiling and shaking my head watching the way the universe works even when I am bed ridden and sick.
I keep reflecting back on this year and how I truly feel like I have found my life's purpose. I can not imagine a better way to help people and share my personal gifts with the world. When I am on the right path, life becomes so magical and meaningful. I truly hope that everyone I meet and everyone that receives one of my candles can feel this amazing energy and pass it on.
It has snowed so much here and it just keeps coming. I have given upon trying to walk because it is so hard to walk and one fall, well that would just be really bad news for me. So I am staying inside, cleaning and spending quality time with my animals. I just bought some really exciting new books so I will be happy for another few days but I need to get to my studio. I miss candle making and have a few more presents to make before the holidays are over.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Happy Solstice!
It has been snowing nonstop for the last 24 hours here in Seattle. I had planned on a winter solstice dinner with a friend of mine but alas, I am snowed in and he is across town. So instead of a cozy dinner, I have been thinking about the fact that this is the true New Years Eve. What are my intentions for the upcoming year? What do I want to Manifest this year? What direction do I want to move towards?
This year has been such a lesson about Health and Wellness as well as Balance. HWB as I call it. So many of my desires in 2009 revolve around these three words. Health with my body, Wellness with how I live my life and Balance in my everyday life. The key is to live with all three parts have to be practiced at once.
I am really looking forward to this new year. It feels very different in energy for last year. Last year it was a dark winter and I felt heavy at the time. This year has been a really nice fall with a slam of East Coast winter and mix that with the Midwest Sunshine in very cold weather and I am feeling bright and Sunny. And with my recent changes in my body I feel light and strong. So this new year feels good!
I am off to take my lovely dog for a walk in the 10 plus inches of snow and take some pictures. She is so happy to run around and play. It is very sweet.
This year has been such a lesson about Health and Wellness as well as Balance. HWB as I call it. So many of my desires in 2009 revolve around these three words. Health with my body, Wellness with how I live my life and Balance in my everyday life. The key is to live with all three parts have to be practiced at once.
I am really looking forward to this new year. It feels very different in energy for last year. Last year it was a dark winter and I felt heavy at the time. This year has been a really nice fall with a slam of East Coast winter and mix that with the Midwest Sunshine in very cold weather and I am feeling bright and Sunny. And with my recent changes in my body I feel light and strong. So this new year feels good!
I am off to take my lovely dog for a walk in the 10 plus inches of snow and take some pictures. She is so happy to run around and play. It is very sweet.
Friday, December 19, 2008
New Book
I have been trying to figure out how to blog about my new favorite book but it has been hard because I loved this book for so many personal reasons. I read "Julia's Chocolates" by Cathy Lamb this week and loved it. Julie's Chocolates was a nice combination of "Garden Secrets" and "Practical Magic". It was an empowering book for me. Sometimes I read books that fill my heart with love and more importantly hope, this is one of those books. It did not have as much magical realism as I like and I hope that Cathy adds more of this in her next few books and I have a feeling she will be. But if you want a nice easy read that will touch your heart then I recommend this book.
It has been snowing and freezing for the last week or so. It is very unusual weather for the northwest but I am enjoying myself. It has been a while since I have been at my studio, I even had a dream about candle making last night! As soon as I can get over there I will. I have been creating new candles and spending a lot of time perfecting the art of candle making. I will be starting candle making classes next year and I received my first booking this week. I am so excited to spend an evening sharing my love of candle making with my love of teaching people about intention and how to create the life they desire. Over the next few weeks I am going to create an outline of my talk. There is so much to share with these women and I am really excited about this evening.
Lately I have been slowing down in life. While I do not love living in the slow lane, I have been able to really see how magical life is by slowing down this much. Everything in life seems to be perfectly planned and desires become reality so easily when life is lived this slow. I have been reflecting about how out of touch with community our modern life seems to have taken us and how even though we are in a horrible recession, there is still energy for change and creativity that will take us forward and connect us with our local communities once again. As a consumer we have so much power to stop buying products made by machines or overseas and we can empower the companies in the USA to start producing high grade products that support all of us. We all need to just slow down a little in life.
It has been snowing and freezing for the last week or so. It is very unusual weather for the northwest but I am enjoying myself. It has been a while since I have been at my studio, I even had a dream about candle making last night! As soon as I can get over there I will. I have been creating new candles and spending a lot of time perfecting the art of candle making. I will be starting candle making classes next year and I received my first booking this week. I am so excited to spend an evening sharing my love of candle making with my love of teaching people about intention and how to create the life they desire. Over the next few weeks I am going to create an outline of my talk. There is so much to share with these women and I am really excited about this evening.
Lately I have been slowing down in life. While I do not love living in the slow lane, I have been able to really see how magical life is by slowing down this much. Everything in life seems to be perfectly planned and desires become reality so easily when life is lived this slow. I have been reflecting about how out of touch with community our modern life seems to have taken us and how even though we are in a horrible recession, there is still energy for change and creativity that will take us forward and connect us with our local communities once again. As a consumer we have so much power to stop buying products made by machines or overseas and we can empower the companies in the USA to start producing high grade products that support all of us. We all need to just slow down a little in life.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Today I Feel Very Small In My Body
Two steps forward, one step back. This seems to be my motto lately. I have good days and bad, good weeks and slow weeks. This has been a slow week. I am still juggling my desire to get out and see people with my exhaustion level. It is hard to do more than one thing a day and if I really push myself, well then I could be in bed for days afterwards. There is still so much to learn about my new body and what it needs. I am losing weight from this experience and it is not hard at all. It feels like it is just coming off easily. But a lot of this is due to my stomach being so sensitive from all the medication I now have to take. I can hardly eat and when I do it is such a small amount. Of course, all the walks and physical therapy are also helping me to become smaller.
Actually, this week I started my first Senior Citizens Water class. I have to start small and work my way up to being able to do so many things. It felt really great to be in the water. It was a little cold but after the hour long class I had the "wonderful day at the beach" feeling. It also helped that I sat in the Sauna for 30 mins or so as I talked to a very interesting woman about intention work.
This sauna experience brought my core body temperature up so that the cold storm we are having right now is not bothering me at all. Last night I went for a midnight walk in the snow with my dog. I let her be off lease because it was so quiet and peaceful out plus she LOVES the snow. It was almost an east coast snow storm with the large flakes and the orange sky. It was dreamy and so much fun! Of course today I was totally exhausted from all these activities but it was well worth it.
I heard that the New York Sale was a success and everybody loved the candles. I can't wait to see some pictures from the event. I am just happy to know that I was able to ship all those candles and none of them were hurt!
I have a very busy candle week this week. Loads of deliveries to make and new candles to finish before the holidays. Plus, the Solstice and New Years Eve is coming up. These are my personal days of the year when I reflect on the past and look towards the future. What are some of your intentions this year? I will have to think about mine. So many things have changed from last year that I really must think about the new list I will be making on New Years Day.
Actually, this week I started my first Senior Citizens Water class. I have to start small and work my way up to being able to do so many things. It felt really great to be in the water. It was a little cold but after the hour long class I had the "wonderful day at the beach" feeling. It also helped that I sat in the Sauna for 30 mins or so as I talked to a very interesting woman about intention work.
This sauna experience brought my core body temperature up so that the cold storm we are having right now is not bothering me at all. Last night I went for a midnight walk in the snow with my dog. I let her be off lease because it was so quiet and peaceful out plus she LOVES the snow. It was almost an east coast snow storm with the large flakes and the orange sky. It was dreamy and so much fun! Of course today I was totally exhausted from all these activities but it was well worth it.
I heard that the New York Sale was a success and everybody loved the candles. I can't wait to see some pictures from the event. I am just happy to know that I was able to ship all those candles and none of them were hurt!
I have a very busy candle week this week. Loads of deliveries to make and new candles to finish before the holidays. Plus, the Solstice and New Years Eve is coming up. These are my personal days of the year when I reflect on the past and look towards the future. What are some of your intentions this year? I will have to think about mine. So many things have changed from last year that I really must think about the new list I will be making on New Years Day.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
What a wonderful evening!
Last night's party at Kelley Moore's house was amazing! My date was the perfect gentleman, my friends ended up being invited as well, old friends that I had not seen since before my spinal disease took me down this summer were there and new people were brought into my life. I loved the whole evening! I had an amazing flapperish looking outfit that I had just bought the day of the party and I managed to find a new makeup line I love. It was a busy prepping day for the party but well worth energy.
Today was an art show by my good friend and dinner with her husband and baby. It was so much fun. I can not believe how busy The South Park Art Under $100.00 show was! South Park is a very cute little section of Seattle near Georgetown. I was only able to stay for a few minutes but I was so proud of her.
My energy level is really low due to all my activities yesterday so I have been resting today. I am still trying to learn to manage my body and my energy level without running myself to exhaustion. In many ways I still feel like a stranger in my new post spine injury and my energy levels are just one example.
Tomorrow is candle making and preparing for the week.
My candle sale in NYC is still on for next weekend. I wish I could be there since I just found out my favorite living photographer has a show and video installation at the Whitney right now. But alas, I am still too ill. Next time!
Today was an art show by my good friend and dinner with her husband and baby. It was so much fun. I can not believe how busy The South Park Art Under $100.00 show was! South Park is a very cute little section of Seattle near Georgetown. I was only able to stay for a few minutes but I was so proud of her.
My energy level is really low due to all my activities yesterday so I have been resting today. I am still trying to learn to manage my body and my energy level without running myself to exhaustion. In many ways I still feel like a stranger in my new post spine injury and my energy levels are just one example.
Tomorrow is candle making and preparing for the week.
My candle sale in NYC is still on for next weekend. I wish I could be there since I just found out my favorite living photographer has a show and video installation at the Whitney right now. But alas, I am still too ill. Next time!
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Amazing Day!
I know I should not be excited about this, but today we had the most amazing sunny day here in Seattle. (global warming!) It was a little chilly in the morning but by the afternoon..... Perfection!
I had lunch with a friend and then we drove down to the beach with my dog and had a great time. My face feels nice and happy--full of vitamin D. I was able to take my jacket off and play on the shore for hours. Ahmi was off leash since we were the only one around and she loved it. I am constantly amazed by how beautiful Seattle is. I even saw some cherry trees blooming.
So tomorrow starts the holiday parties. Actually, I missed two this week while preparing for the NYC show. So tomorrow is my first party and it is being thrown by Kelley Moore, our local kick ass Martha Stewart. I am going to dress in clothing that has never been soiled by wax and even wear heels. I am hoping to get my date all lined up and put him in some of his fancy new clothes he just got thanks to his big new contract. I can't wait!
The candles arrive next week for the show..... I have been a little nervous since this will be the first time my candles have been for sale without me! I know the lady who is selling them and she is amazing so I know it will go well but sometimes at night when I am tired I just get so exhausted and nervous!
I am very happy to report that the last few days have been really good days for my back. It is healing and I am getting stronger everyday. I almost felt normal today. I had a slight bit of pain but for the most part, it was like old times.
I had lunch with a friend and then we drove down to the beach with my dog and had a great time. My face feels nice and happy--full of vitamin D. I was able to take my jacket off and play on the shore for hours. Ahmi was off leash since we were the only one around and she loved it. I am constantly amazed by how beautiful Seattle is. I even saw some cherry trees blooming.
So tomorrow starts the holiday parties. Actually, I missed two this week while preparing for the NYC show. So tomorrow is my first party and it is being thrown by Kelley Moore, our local kick ass Martha Stewart. I am going to dress in clothing that has never been soiled by wax and even wear heels. I am hoping to get my date all lined up and put him in some of his fancy new clothes he just got thanks to his big new contract. I can't wait!
The candles arrive next week for the show..... I have been a little nervous since this will be the first time my candles have been for sale without me! I know the lady who is selling them and she is amazing so I know it will go well but sometimes at night when I am tired I just get so exhausted and nervous!
I am very happy to report that the last few days have been really good days for my back. It is healing and I am getting stronger everyday. I almost felt normal today. I had a slight bit of pain but for the most part, it was like old times.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
So many things
Ok, it has been forever since I last posted.
So many things to update everyone about. I was diagnosed with a Back Disease where my disks are falling apart, it is working it's way up my spine. Right now I am in good shape. I am up and walking again, I only have a slight limp and some times I need to take it slow. But it is a far place from this summer when I could not even walk around the block. This is a life long disease that may or may not get worse and has no cure. I have been told not to think about the future and for the most part I am not, but sometimes I do get down and worry what I will look like in 5, 10 or even 20 years. Right now my back looks like the back of an 85 year old so on the inside...... What will it look like in the future?
I was supposed to fly to the east coast last week but had to cancel at the last moment. I was simply not ready to travel and I am still not ready. But I can see myself traveling in a few short months so that makes me happy. I had a lovely holiday with my family and spent a lot of time with my nephew. I also made intention candles all week long and fell in love with my candles again.... I am so happy when I leave my studio!
My candles will be for sale in New York City next weekend at a huge show. My cousin Michele O'Hana will be selling them for me and I can not wait to hear how it goes. I wish I could be there but next time. Plus, when I go back east I always stay upstate so the city is lost on me. Even when I lived there I spent most of my time ready, walking and writing. I am too much of a country girl at heart. Anyways, if you want the address of the show, just send me an email and I will send it along. I know it will be around Broadway and Broom St in SOHO.
I am also preparing for the magazine spread featuring my candles that will be coming out in Seattle Metropolitan magazine next month. I will have more information about that in the next few weeks. And our local Party Planner expert, Kelley Moore is featuring Odessa's Herbals in an upcoming newsletter! So much press lately and it makes me so happy!
A few weeks ago I had a wonderful client throw a party for her girlfriends that featured my candles. It was an amazing afternoon and even the sun came out to shine for us! I am so thankful to Kerri for sharing her passion for my candles and she is truly my angel right now. I will be linking to her website and will post a little bio about her. She is having another candle party in January so let me know if you would like to attend. I am hoping to make this a monthly event.
My heart is full of love for so many people right now. I had a wonderful lunch with a man that I adore today and it just made my day. He is someone who is very special to me and I am so thankful he came back into my life. Sometimes people come back into our lives that just love us like nobody else can. He has always been very special to me but now that we are older, it is just deeper and more rewarding!
Ok, enough of that. I am off to finish up getting everything ready for NYC and then to wash up and sleep. I had a long day of working and walking so I must crash very soon. All I know is that my health is getting better everyday and I am feeling very magical right now. Everything I touch seems to just light up and flow in a very good way. This is the perfect energy for the holiday season!
So many things to update everyone about. I was diagnosed with a Back Disease where my disks are falling apart, it is working it's way up my spine. Right now I am in good shape. I am up and walking again, I only have a slight limp and some times I need to take it slow. But it is a far place from this summer when I could not even walk around the block. This is a life long disease that may or may not get worse and has no cure. I have been told not to think about the future and for the most part I am not, but sometimes I do get down and worry what I will look like in 5, 10 or even 20 years. Right now my back looks like the back of an 85 year old so on the inside...... What will it look like in the future?
I was supposed to fly to the east coast last week but had to cancel at the last moment. I was simply not ready to travel and I am still not ready. But I can see myself traveling in a few short months so that makes me happy. I had a lovely holiday with my family and spent a lot of time with my nephew. I also made intention candles all week long and fell in love with my candles again.... I am so happy when I leave my studio!
My candles will be for sale in New York City next weekend at a huge show. My cousin Michele O'Hana will be selling them for me and I can not wait to hear how it goes. I wish I could be there but next time. Plus, when I go back east I always stay upstate so the city is lost on me. Even when I lived there I spent most of my time ready, walking and writing. I am too much of a country girl at heart. Anyways, if you want the address of the show, just send me an email and I will send it along. I know it will be around Broadway and Broom St in SOHO.
I am also preparing for the magazine spread featuring my candles that will be coming out in Seattle Metropolitan magazine next month. I will have more information about that in the next few weeks. And our local Party Planner expert, Kelley Moore is featuring Odessa's Herbals in an upcoming newsletter! So much press lately and it makes me so happy!
A few weeks ago I had a wonderful client throw a party for her girlfriends that featured my candles. It was an amazing afternoon and even the sun came out to shine for us! I am so thankful to Kerri for sharing her passion for my candles and she is truly my angel right now. I will be linking to her website and will post a little bio about her. She is having another candle party in January so let me know if you would like to attend. I am hoping to make this a monthly event.
My heart is full of love for so many people right now. I had a wonderful lunch with a man that I adore today and it just made my day. He is someone who is very special to me and I am so thankful he came back into my life. Sometimes people come back into our lives that just love us like nobody else can. He has always been very special to me but now that we are older, it is just deeper and more rewarding!
Ok, enough of that. I am off to finish up getting everything ready for NYC and then to wash up and sleep. I had a long day of working and walking so I must crash very soon. All I know is that my health is getting better everyday and I am feeling very magical right now. Everything I touch seems to just light up and flow in a very good way. This is the perfect energy for the holiday season!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Staying Flexible
This month has been my lesson about staying flexible. I have been shifting my time from the tealights I produce for Glassy Baby to the Pillars and tealights I make for Odessa's Herbals. It is a very loving and positive change of pace for me. I adore Glassy Baby but my heart and truelove are with Odessa's Herbals and making candles with intention. So I feel blessed to have my customers new and old and I look forward to hearing your wonderful stories.
On the health front I have recently had a bit of an miracle happen. Half of the miracle is good old fashion work which I have spent almost every single day focusing on my spine. but I do believe that a little bit of magic has also helped me to finally become almost totally pain free! I am currently detoxing off all the pain medication and feeling better everyday. I can move freely and have even started to hike a little bit around the huge park I live near.
I will post more today as I must run out for my morning walk but I just wanted to get something up to let my good friends know I am still alive and doing really well.
On the health front I have recently had a bit of an miracle happen. Half of the miracle is good old fashion work which I have spent almost every single day focusing on my spine. but I do believe that a little bit of magic has also helped me to finally become almost totally pain free! I am currently detoxing off all the pain medication and feeling better everyday. I can move freely and have even started to hike a little bit around the huge park I live near.
I will post more today as I must run out for my morning walk but I just wanted to get something up to let my good friends know I am still alive and doing really well.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Not sure what to do
I suddenly have more time in the day to get all those little things I need to do, done. I am not sure how this happened and I am not sure what to do with this new time I have but I am slowly filling it up. As I mentioned my pain levels are very low and my energy and strength are gaining so I feel safe to say..... I am coming back to a normal life.
I never thought I would see the light at the end of the tunnel but I feel like I am getting a handle on my condition and I am working towards healing. I feel like I have grown physical, mentally and emotionally while dealing with my health. Things have changed for me and I am starting to grow into my authentic self. This last sentence makes me smile. I am changing in some ways but also returning to a person that I left behind years ago. But this is the person that I am destined to become. I hope this makes sense but if not, just know that I am happier than I have ever been and glad to be working hard. I love my life and my company and am grateful for everything that has happened over these last few years. Sometimes you have to leave a place to realize it is truly your home. ( not a physical space or home)
My holiday orders are flying in and my holiday plans are filling up. But it looks like a good old friend will be visiting Portland at the start of the new year and I will be booking a hotel room for the night in P-town. I also want to do a little business in Portland and .... Shopping! But of course, I will have the old friend reunion dinner and drinks. Nothing too crazy but a nice little visit.
Ok, I must walk now and clean. It is time to move and get some more work down outside my little computer space. Have a great weekend!
I never thought I would see the light at the end of the tunnel but I feel like I am getting a handle on my condition and I am working towards healing. I feel like I have grown physical, mentally and emotionally while dealing with my health. Things have changed for me and I am starting to grow into my authentic self. This last sentence makes me smile. I am changing in some ways but also returning to a person that I left behind years ago. But this is the person that I am destined to become. I hope this makes sense but if not, just know that I am happier than I have ever been and glad to be working hard. I love my life and my company and am grateful for everything that has happened over these last few years. Sometimes you have to leave a place to realize it is truly your home. ( not a physical space or home)
My holiday orders are flying in and my holiday plans are filling up. But it looks like a good old friend will be visiting Portland at the start of the new year and I will be booking a hotel room for the night in P-town. I also want to do a little business in Portland and .... Shopping! But of course, I will have the old friend reunion dinner and drinks. Nothing too crazy but a nice little visit.
Ok, I must walk now and clean. It is time to move and get some more work down outside my little computer space. Have a great weekend!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I love Una
Today I met Susan who runs Una Clothing and I am in love. She brought with her some of her wonderful arm warmers and I did not take them off all day. I even wore them into my night out on the town. My arms were so warm and I love having my wrists covered. Susan also brought some of her other items and I can not wait to wear them.
Susan was such a delight to spend some time with and I look forward to seeing her again.
My section of Seattle, where the studio is and where I spend all my time is in The New York Times today. I have not read the article but I can tell you all that my studio is right between each hood and I love both of them. Mostly I can be seen in Fremont right now because the walk from my studio to Fremont goes along a canal that is beautiful. But, I do spend a lot of time in Ballard. Two of my favorite places to eat are in that section and Ballard is still small enough that people begin to know who you are and enjoy your company.
I am exhausted so I must keep this short. Life has been good lately. Today, I woke up with no pain. This is the first time this has happened in 8 months. I still had some pain during the day and I am not totally recovered but I am happy to report that things are getting better and I am getting out more.
The other big news to report is that Glassy Baby has opened their third shop! This is so exciting and exhausting. I now have more candles to make and lucky for me that my back is allowing all this work. My body is coming back stronger!
However, if you have any holiday orders get them in now. I will be working like a mad lady to get all the Glassy Baby candles finished and all my special orders done. It will be hard but a really good thing and I am ready for this experience. Just let me sleep all January because I will be exhausted.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Perfect Fall Evening
Last night I headed over to West Seattle to have dinner with some good friends. It was so much fun not only because I can finally eat a little bit after the last six months of not being able to eat, but also after dinner we all put our fall clothing on and went for a lovely walk. Lately I have been trying to combine my social interactions with my need to walk for my back. I want to see people, I just can not have sitting and eating being the focal point of our evening. I have to spend so many hours walking everyday that I now prefer a walk to dinner or drinks.
Last night we walk around their new neighborhood in West Seattle and admired the fall colors. Their little one year old baby carried roses in her hand while she walked down the street. We laughed and enjoyed the evening stroll as I updated them on my back situation and what new developments have occurred. Like for instance, I took a pain reliever the other day that actually worked. All summer long, no matter how many pail killers I had to take, I was never pain free. It was very hard to be in that much pain and on such high doses of pain killers and yet still do not feel any relief. But that is what it was like. I was always in horrible pain. So I am getting better and my pain levels are going down. So exciting!
I can come with a belly full of autumn stew and mashed potatoes and I took another walk with my father and Ahmi before heading off to bed. Even though I had walked at my friends house, I knew that I had also sat down for dinner and this action meant I need to walk for another hour so that when I woke up in the morning, my pain would not be as bad.
Actually, I am off for my first walk of the day. I will take my camera and post some fall pictures.
Last night we walk around their new neighborhood in West Seattle and admired the fall colors. Their little one year old baby carried roses in her hand while she walked down the street. We laughed and enjoyed the evening stroll as I updated them on my back situation and what new developments have occurred. Like for instance, I took a pain reliever the other day that actually worked. All summer long, no matter how many pail killers I had to take, I was never pain free. It was very hard to be in that much pain and on such high doses of pain killers and yet still do not feel any relief. But that is what it was like. I was always in horrible pain. So I am getting better and my pain levels are going down. So exciting!
I can come with a belly full of autumn stew and mashed potatoes and I took another walk with my father and Ahmi before heading off to bed. Even though I had walked at my friends house, I knew that I had also sat down for dinner and this action meant I need to walk for another hour so that when I woke up in the morning, my pain would not be as bad.
Actually, I am off for my first walk of the day. I will take my camera and post some fall pictures.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Midnight walks
Over the last six months I have been watching as my body changes and gets stronger. I love having a Physical Therapist - Coach for working out and getting my body back in a healthy state. Twice a week for over than an hour I worked with Laura watching over me. It has been years since I worked out with weights and I forgot how much I loved it. I am lucky in that my body responds to weight lifting and sculpting. So my body is changing along with what feels like everything else in life.
This week has been slow. My back has been bad so I have been slower than I like. But this has given me loads of time to take slow walks and notice the amazing fall colors in the trees. It has been breath taking! I am still spending 4 to 5 hours a day walking and digesting the change of seasons.
Ok.... I am sleepy. Tomorrow is the end of the candles for the magazine and cleaning up the studio.
This week has been slow. My back has been bad so I have been slower than I like. But this has given me loads of time to take slow walks and notice the amazing fall colors in the trees. It has been breath taking! I am still spending 4 to 5 hours a day walking and digesting the change of seasons.
Ok.... I am sleepy. Tomorrow is the end of the candles for the magazine and cleaning up the studio.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Today was the perfect day
I started out my day with a walk to the coffee shop with Ahmi. I bought a paper and read it cover to cover except for the comics. I just did not have time to read those since I went into the studio to keep working on the candles for Seattle Metropolitan magazine. I worry that I have not made enough candles and of course they never look good enough.
After the studio I came home for a nap and another walk with Ahmi. It is so beautiful outside right now. Perfect fall weather!
So many things are happening right now to my company and friends who are doing there own thing. Kelley Moore is in NYC for her first spot on The View. A little birdie tells me that she is going to give a shout out to Glassy Baby! I am so excited to watch The View on Thursday.
I will be having lunch with Jennifer J. who is my main lady at Seattle Opera. She is so awesome and helped to get my candles into their gift bags for their spring fundraiser. I have been wanting to see her for so long but my back sort of derailed this until now.
Speaking of my back, I think that I am finally able to understand the emotional aspect of my illness this summer. Before I was in so much pain all the time that all I could think about was getting rid of the pain. Now that the pain is finally getting better and there are even moments of the day when I realize that I am not in pain, I have been having moments where I get emotional over the giant life changes I have ahead of me. I walking around the book store in Fremont looking for a new book. After twenty minutes I realized that I was looking for a book that I could relate too about my back accident. Alas, this book does not exist or the bookstore did not have a copy but I did pick up a copy of this photography book about what women's bodies really look like. I heard the author on NPR one day talking about how she wanted teenage girls to get an idea about all the different body types that are out there and that trying to be perfect does not exist. I was looking through this book when I stopped one page to discover a woman who had a scar on her back from the top of the spine to her thigh area. She was around my age and had a similar experience. She was struck suddenly with a disease that would forever change how she moved, what her life could be like and what kind of events she could be a part of. She is now a dancer! I can not believe it. The best part of her biography was the last line. It said something like I now live for my body and center my life around it. It sums up what I have been feeling. I now have to create a life around my back. I can no longer live a life without intention. Every aspect of my life revolves around my body and my back. I can not sit for longer than five minutes, I can not lay in bed all day, I must walk for almost 4 hours a day and workout with a trainer. My life revolves around loving and caring for my back and there is nothing that is going to stop me now!
This photograph and story brought tears to my eyes. I finally found that little connection with someone who has gone through a similar experience. My back is breaking down at a very fast rate but there are others out there that have experienced this and found a place of love and peace with the situation.
I will find out the name of this book and post the link in a little bit.
After the studio I came home for a nap and another walk with Ahmi. It is so beautiful outside right now. Perfect fall weather!
So many things are happening right now to my company and friends who are doing there own thing. Kelley Moore is in NYC for her first spot on The View. A little birdie tells me that she is going to give a shout out to Glassy Baby! I am so excited to watch The View on Thursday.
I will be having lunch with Jennifer J. who is my main lady at Seattle Opera. She is so awesome and helped to get my candles into their gift bags for their spring fundraiser. I have been wanting to see her for so long but my back sort of derailed this until now.
Speaking of my back, I think that I am finally able to understand the emotional aspect of my illness this summer. Before I was in so much pain all the time that all I could think about was getting rid of the pain. Now that the pain is finally getting better and there are even moments of the day when I realize that I am not in pain, I have been having moments where I get emotional over the giant life changes I have ahead of me. I walking around the book store in Fremont looking for a new book. After twenty minutes I realized that I was looking for a book that I could relate too about my back accident. Alas, this book does not exist or the bookstore did not have a copy but I did pick up a copy of this photography book about what women's bodies really look like. I heard the author on NPR one day talking about how she wanted teenage girls to get an idea about all the different body types that are out there and that trying to be perfect does not exist. I was looking through this book when I stopped one page to discover a woman who had a scar on her back from the top of the spine to her thigh area. She was around my age and had a similar experience. She was struck suddenly with a disease that would forever change how she moved, what her life could be like and what kind of events she could be a part of. She is now a dancer! I can not believe it. The best part of her biography was the last line. It said something like I now live for my body and center my life around it. It sums up what I have been feeling. I now have to create a life around my back. I can no longer live a life without intention. Every aspect of my life revolves around my body and my back. I can not sit for longer than five minutes, I can not lay in bed all day, I must walk for almost 4 hours a day and workout with a trainer. My life revolves around loving and caring for my back and there is nothing that is going to stop me now!
This photograph and story brought tears to my eyes. I finally found that little connection with someone who has gone through a similar experience. My back is breaking down at a very fast rate but there are others out there that have experienced this and found a place of love and peace with the situation.
I will find out the name of this book and post the link in a little bit.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The life of a candle maker
After getting up at 5 am and finishing the first hour long walk of the day, I have four more to go, I am ready to think about the rest of the morning. I did not want to get up at 5 but when I wake up in the morning my back hurts thus causing me to get out of bed, get dressed and wake Ahmi up. After my hour long walk, I can either go back to bed if my back is not hurting too much or I will start my day and this early hour.
It will take me an hour to get ready to leave for my studio. I used to only require twenty minutes or so to get ready for the day but with my new back, it takes me a good hour. Once I am ready I will pack my bag and head to the studio. From here I will take two hour long walks in between making candles and then I will head home.
Yep, it is an exciting life I live!
Ha Ha!
Actually today is turning out to be a great day. Tea lights are on the menu for today at the studio. This means that we can watch whatever we want on the TV so I am planning on a Gilmore Girls marathon. I am sure my assistant Chris, being the dude that he is, will love this marathon. Oh well, it will be good for him! Today is also good because I am in very little pain so far. I was worried since I was on my feet yesterday running around doing errands for almost 12 hours. This is huge for me! The best part?
The hour I spent at Toy's R Us!
Dylan was in need of new toys and I needed to get to the voting office before registration closed. So I decided my nephew needs some new toys. Whoa Nelly! The toy store was amazing. I usually save my shopping for small family owned stores. I like to spend my money knowing I am supporting another small business owner but today I thought I would explore my options. I ended up getting him three toys, all boy related toys. He loves the one I gave him last night. I am going to spread these toys out over a few weeks so that I can keep the boy excited.
So because I am feeling so well, I am going to take it extra slow this morning. Strange logic? I know but it is best to take it slow after such a long day. I am happy that I am in very much pain and it is best to rest to keep this feeling going by taking it easy.
I am also making candles for an upcoming issue of Seattle Meteropolitian Magazine. I am not making intention candles so we can watch TV. When I make my intention candles I give them my full attention. Intention takes attention and that starts from the creation of thought. I will be posting some photos of my new candle molds.
It will take me an hour to get ready to leave for my studio. I used to only require twenty minutes or so to get ready for the day but with my new back, it takes me a good hour. Once I am ready I will pack my bag and head to the studio. From here I will take two hour long walks in between making candles and then I will head home.
Yep, it is an exciting life I live!
Ha Ha!
Actually today is turning out to be a great day. Tea lights are on the menu for today at the studio. This means that we can watch whatever we want on the TV so I am planning on a Gilmore Girls marathon. I am sure my assistant Chris, being the dude that he is, will love this marathon. Oh well, it will be good for him! Today is also good because I am in very little pain so far. I was worried since I was on my feet yesterday running around doing errands for almost 12 hours. This is huge for me! The best part?
The hour I spent at Toy's R Us!
Dylan was in need of new toys and I needed to get to the voting office before registration closed. So I decided my nephew needs some new toys. Whoa Nelly! The toy store was amazing. I usually save my shopping for small family owned stores. I like to spend my money knowing I am supporting another small business owner but today I thought I would explore my options. I ended up getting him three toys, all boy related toys. He loves the one I gave him last night. I am going to spread these toys out over a few weeks so that I can keep the boy excited.
So because I am feeling so well, I am going to take it extra slow this morning. Strange logic? I know but it is best to take it slow after such a long day. I am happy that I am in very much pain and it is best to rest to keep this feeling going by taking it easy.
I am also making candles for an upcoming issue of Seattle Meteropolitian Magazine. I am not making intention candles so we can watch TV. When I make my intention candles I give them my full attention. Intention takes attention and that starts from the creation of thought. I will be posting some photos of my new candle molds.
Monday, October 06, 2008
My comfort item
Everyone has one. That item in your closet that brings you feelings of joy, comfort and safety. This item has been with you longer than most of your friends. It could be your favorite band shirt, your baby blanket or for me it is an extra large grey cashmere scarf. This scarf was given to me by my adopted aunty Reni Moriarity. Reni is always a hero and mentor of mine. She throws the best dinner parties, she is an amazing cook and always has funny stories about country life. Her house is a log cabin made by her husband. It is my dream of a home. I long to be a child again so I can go spend the weekend in the country with Reni. I grew up getting to spend the night in the loft beds that Mark (her husband) built.
So today my grey cashmere scarf came out for my 6 am walk. I had visions of wearing this scarf when I was 16 and met my first boyfriend. I thought about wearing this item when I lived in NYC and the Midwest. I wrapped my head and neck up and walked out into the mist. Ahmi was really happy to be out before all the other dogs came out.
I just got back from hanging out with my nephew. He is under the weather and just wanted to snuggle. Right now the curious George that I bought him is his comfort toy. He likes to bring the George with him when we go on our adventures. Today I tried to make cookies but alas, I think I mixed the cookies and kid's play dough recipe mixed up. The cookies were awful! But Dylan had fun and the times passed by very quickly so I can over look the awful cookies. They were so bad Dylan did not even want to eat them.
I hang my head in shame today because I have lost my golden touch in the kitchen!
Friday, October 03, 2008
Helper Bee
I have a new helper and it is making my life so much easier!
I am still very limited in what I can do and the amount of hours I can be in my studio, but with the two of us there, the candles are flying off the shelf.
This weekend I am going to work on getting my shopping cart set up online so that candle orders can be place via my website. This is very exciting and I now have the technology to do it.
I saw my doctor today about my back. Things are looking better. My strength is coming back and my control over my right leg is getting better. I do not have to see the doctor for two weeks which marks the first time in three months that I do not have to see a doctor for over a week. Keep your fingers crossed that I do not have another flare-up and become bed ridden again.
This weekend is going to be a busy one. I have an auction to attend tomorrow evening and a party to go to on Sunday. I am exhausted just thinking about it all. I also will be making candles this weekend and trying out my new candle molds. That reminds me, I should take my new camera this weekend so that I can take some pictures of the new gift sets. Each candle is scented with just essential blends that smell wonderful but are less expensive for the conservative customer. I have been working with many of my customers to make sure that they can still enjoy my wonderful candles, live the best life they can while needing to scale back on expenses. The pinch is happening all over this country and no one is immune.
This week my nephew came running across the room saying "Love you Aunty! Love you".
This is my moment of zen for the week.
I am still very limited in what I can do and the amount of hours I can be in my studio, but with the two of us there, the candles are flying off the shelf.
This weekend I am going to work on getting my shopping cart set up online so that candle orders can be place via my website. This is very exciting and I now have the technology to do it.
I saw my doctor today about my back. Things are looking better. My strength is coming back and my control over my right leg is getting better. I do not have to see the doctor for two weeks which marks the first time in three months that I do not have to see a doctor for over a week. Keep your fingers crossed that I do not have another flare-up and become bed ridden again.
This weekend is going to be a busy one. I have an auction to attend tomorrow evening and a party to go to on Sunday. I am exhausted just thinking about it all. I also will be making candles this weekend and trying out my new candle molds. That reminds me, I should take my new camera this weekend so that I can take some pictures of the new gift sets. Each candle is scented with just essential blends that smell wonderful but are less expensive for the conservative customer. I have been working with many of my customers to make sure that they can still enjoy my wonderful candles, live the best life they can while needing to scale back on expenses. The pinch is happening all over this country and no one is immune.
This week my nephew came running across the room saying "Love you Aunty! Love you".
This is my moment of zen for the week.
Monday, September 29, 2008
The Long Road
After several shots into my spine, a course of new nerve medicine and endless walks during the day, I am now finally getting out of my house. I have a very strict schedule now that also has to be flexible enough so that I can drop everything and come home to rest if I need too. I walk 4 to 5 times a day, I have stretches I must do several times a day and I can only do something for no longer than four hours. I am still unable to sit down and driving is limited but I can make candles and that is all I care about right now. Recovery is going to take a year or more but at least I do not have to get the spinal fusion.
So I just invested in warm winter clothing for my daily walks and I will be getting some shoes this week. Can I just tell you how much I love Lucy clothing? My new outfit keeps me warm and feels amazing to wear even when I take my walks at 3 am.
My body is changing. It's weird to watch my body become toned as I think about two months ago when I could not even get out of bed. I am so lucky to have such a strong body that responds to all this movement. It has been years since I worked out and I am now starting to see the importance of working out. My back is stronger and my leg works better as time moves on. I can almost walk like a normal person. For a while it looked like I would never walk normal again. My left leg is permanently numb and weak from my first spine injury. This summer my right leg became so weak that the nerve started to die. I could hardly control my legs and it was very noticeable. I don't know if you have ever seen someone with nerve damage or a disease that affects the nervous system but it becomes very hard to simply move your legs to walk.
Ok, I am off for my last walk of the day. I will be able to blog more now that I am finally healing and I will soon have fun new stories.
So I just invested in warm winter clothing for my daily walks and I will be getting some shoes this week. Can I just tell you how much I love Lucy clothing? My new outfit keeps me warm and feels amazing to wear even when I take my walks at 3 am.
My body is changing. It's weird to watch my body become toned as I think about two months ago when I could not even get out of bed. I am so lucky to have such a strong body that responds to all this movement. It has been years since I worked out and I am now starting to see the importance of working out. My back is stronger and my leg works better as time moves on. I can almost walk like a normal person. For a while it looked like I would never walk normal again. My left leg is permanently numb and weak from my first spine injury. This summer my right leg became so weak that the nerve started to die. I could hardly control my legs and it was very noticeable. I don't know if you have ever seen someone with nerve damage or a disease that affects the nervous system but it becomes very hard to simply move your legs to walk.
Ok, I am off for my last walk of the day. I will be able to blog more now that I am finally healing and I will soon have fun new stories.
Friday, September 05, 2008
The Good News
So after almost two weeks, I have some good news. The Physical Therapist has seen some strength return to my leg and it looks good. Small changes of course but very important in terms of my rehab to walk again.
Candle making starts up again this week and I am also doing my physical therapy. This is about all I can fit into a day right now. I am watching Gilmore Girls as an ode to my sister. It is fun.
I have never watched the show but she has seen every episode so at some point I knew I needed to watch it. It made me realize that it is her "Northern Exposure" . Northern Exposure is my dream world, especially when I was in my teen years. I longed to live in a town dominated by Native American couture and social rules. My sister growing up on the East Coast, loved a life where she could go to her room, read her books and study at really good schools. My sister and I are like night and day but I hate going a day without talking to her. So I am peering into her life, with my nails painted pink and watching her favorite show. I feel so close!
I will let you all know how candle making is going when I blog next.
Candle making starts up again this week and I am also doing my physical therapy. This is about all I can fit into a day right now. I am watching Gilmore Girls as an ode to my sister. It is fun.
I have never watched the show but she has seen every episode so at some point I knew I needed to watch it. It made me realize that it is her "Northern Exposure" . Northern Exposure is my dream world, especially when I was in my teen years. I longed to live in a town dominated by Native American couture and social rules. My sister growing up on the East Coast, loved a life where she could go to her room, read her books and study at really good schools. My sister and I are like night and day but I hate going a day without talking to her. So I am peering into her life, with my nails painted pink and watching her favorite show. I feel so close!
I will let you all know how candle making is going when I blog next.
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