Lessons to live by

One thing I did not learn growing up was that I had a choice in situations. I always thought I had to do what people told me and that I had to always be the nice one.
It has taken me way too long to learn that as an adult this way of thinking no longer serves me.

One of my favorite lessons I have learned over the last few years as I worked hard to rebuild my life is that I do have a choice. And no, I don't always have to be the nice one. Especially if being nice means that I hurt myself in the long run. I now only focus on what helps me in the long run keep my vision of what I want my life to look like. This includes keeping good friends around, being the best family member I can to those that deserve it, being a rock star at the company I love and putting my health above everything else.

And sometimes this means I get to say NO to certain situations, people or things.
This concept actually makes me really excited. Why ? Because it means that I can think about things. I can take the space I deserve. I no longer have to do what others tell me to do. Most importantly it means I can stop all negative patterns that I have in life and make room for only positive ones.

I have been thinking a lot about this concept this week. Situations have happened over the week that do not deserve to be written about on this blog. But in each situation I held strong in the knowledge that I could simply say NO and move forward. This calmed my soul and allowed me to think of the situation for only about 5 minutes vs the 5 days it would have required in the past. It also allowed for me not to let back into my life painful situations and people that would hurt me again. What a relief!

So while I maybe saying No to certain things, I am on the other hand saying YES to a lot of things in life. I spent my Sunday playing soccer in the park with my nephew. I sat in the sunshine enjoying all the new growth of Spring. Drinks with friends. A wonderful dinner with other friends. I planted the start to my summer garden. I juiced twice a day everyday this weekend. I took care of my body and mind and lived life all week with ease and joy.

There so much good in the world that I only want to focus on that. I want to stay strong in my new life and just being really present to how wonderful life is. And I want to say that I have never been more grateful for the word NO than I am this morning.

Juicing Twice a Day

Lately I have been using my culinary skills to make new and exciting juice recipes. I have been expanding to adding fresh Herbs along with adding new veggies that I might not think to ever juice.

My new love juice

- Apple
- Lime
- Red Cabbage
- 1/2 Grapefruit
- Fresh Mint
- Fresh Basil
- Ginger

I drink this lovely mix for breakfast and dinner everyday. Over the last three weeks something has been changing in me. I am becoming a new person inside and out. It has been this beautiful transformation. I am back into the Raw thing with juicing being the main meals. I then stick to a large salad at lunch with some Quiona as a grain. I have been noticing a sensitivity to Corn lately which has made me turn more focus back to living in the Raw.

But this change has been extending outside of just what I am eating. It's a life change. I am focusing my thoughts more. I am relaxing. I am becoming that person I always wanted to be. I am taking care of myself and really enjoying my alone time. I am filling my life with beauty, friendship and love. I am spending time with people being really present to them. And I am being really present to myself.

And I am giving myself the space and time to dream and manifest in life.

Flu Watch 2012

These last few weeks have been rough. I had a cold that would not go away and then it turned into the FLU.....
I had a 102.5 fever and was very weak. For the first time since I started at my new company, I had to unplug totally. It was rough to not be able to do any work. I simple could not move.

So after 4 days of taking it easy, I am happy to say I am BACK!

I forgot how much I value my health. I forgot how much I love taking care of my body and having unlimited energy. I have come back with the flu with a new desire to stay healthy and take it up a notch. I am juicing and eating Raw again. I am working up the energy to return to Hot Yoga and I am eating only things that my delicate system can handle.

One thing being sick made me realize was that life is a lot different than just a year ago. I am different. Everything is different and I am so grateful for this. I have done a lot of work in the last year to make this change happen and sometimes I forget to step back and look at all the change I have undergone.

Another thing that happened while I was sick was I realized that I am ready to travel more. I had a very stable and dependable life now. I can start to spread my wings again. My heart is ready for a new adventure and I am ready to explore more.

My Year Of Saying Yes

2012 has turned into my year of saying yes. I am saying yes to every invitation I receive. I am saying yes to trying all those activities I have always wanted to do. And I am saying Yes to myself. Yes, it is OK to take care of yourself when you are sick instead of pushing to meet deadlines that are simply not working for you at the moment.

This has been a very fun and exciting start to the new year for me and I am excited about what saying Yes might lead too. I know it will lead to more fun and happiness in my life which was lacking for almost all of my 20's. I have finally hit the age where I don't really care anymore what other people think I should do, or even what the small part of my brain thinks I should do. I want to keep experiencing life and living as much as I can because life is short.

So tonight I am off to see a new friends band. Tomorrow is my book club with a group of ladies that inspire and encourage me in life. This weekend I have a date with my nephew that I am so excited about. And maybe one night I might take myself out for a nice cocktail and a good book. Because I am also saying Yes to myself!

Beautiful to Me

It's been an intense last few weeks. Not so much because of outside situations but more of an internal situation. I have been given the opportunity to really work and change the way I perceive myself against what is the truth. I know this sounds cryptic and possibly silly. But I have certain things that are blocking me from moving to the next level in my life and until I truly face those issues, I will be stuck in the past.

So right now I am learning to be comfortable with the idea that I am beautiful and perfect just the way I am at this moment. What a hard concept!!!
I simply can not see it. I can't understand how this concept can apply to everyone that I love except for myself. I want to resort back to my old ways of constantly thinking something is wrong with me and pushing myself to fix it, to fix me.

What if I don't need to be fixed? Then what will I spend my time thinking about? I have a great job, a great family, a great group of friends in my life. I make enough money to be able to buy myself whatever I need. I am settled, happy and excited about my future. What part of this situation is not beautiful? I am interesting, smart, constantly learning and challenging myself. I take amazing care of myself. I spend time and effort taking myself to Spas and really trying to love my body. So what is it that makes myself unable to see myself as beautiful?

I have yet to answer this. I am working hard to uncover my block and be able to move through it. I am spending time to assist me to this next level because I know once I reach this place of being beautiful, the world is going to get a whole lot more amazing. I just need to sit with the fact that I am struggling at the moment.

1st vacation of the year coming up!

Next week marks my first vacation of the year. It also happens to be the first vacation I have taken in what feels like years.

I will be traveling back to the Midwest to visit a dear friend that recently lost her husband. It's not the best circumstances to take a vacation but it will be fun none the less. I will be spending one night with my friend at a fancy spa. More details to come!
I hope it is better quality than the 5 star Spa I used to work at that was more like a 1 star spa. Fingers crossed!

I had to take a break from Hot Yoga this week as I got sick. It has been a bummer but I can still feel and see the difference in my body that this adventure has made. What is really strange is that I am returning to the size I was when I was a teenager and having dreams that are very similar to when I was younger. I wonder how much "memory" is stored in our muscles, fat and organs that would release when I start to do things similar to when I was younger? I am losing weight but more importantly I am building muscle and look very healthy. My body is now becoming a normal size. I even went to the Doc this week and my blood pressure is at an all time low!!! Not that I had high blood pressure but it's even better now. I love that healthy is becoming a priority in life.

What a week!

Last week in Seattle we had a snow and ice storm. It was epic! Everyone thinks Seattle people are wimps when it comes to snow but check this photo out from a snow storm a couple of years ago.

This is why when it snows in Seattle, I stay home! We have way too many hills to mess with trying to get around this city.

Which means I spent a week housebound. It was nice to be able to see my animals all day long but I was itching to get out by Friday. I did manage to get a couple of hot yoga classes in during the week. And I had prepared the house with fresh fruits and veggies before the storm came along. We had no junk food in the house which saved me a lot of stress. I also took the dog out for long off leash walks in the snow which helped me not go crazy from being house bound.

By Friday it was time to get out on the town and see some friends. I helped a friend film a segment for one of our local stations about his new art exhibit/ Putt putt golf installation. It was so much fun to see what he had helped create and the I am so happy the station is doing a local TV spot about this fun event. It happens once a year and is a great activity.

This evening provided me a chance to work on my New Years Resolution of confidence. I truly felt beautiful on Friday night, and I was given the chance to speak with many handsome men and feel amazing afterwards. It was a great evening. I took small steps to gaining back my confidence I had a younger lady.

One thing I almost forgot!
I just signed up for a year of unlimited Hot Yoga! I am so grateful to have this amazing job that has allowed me to pay for something like Hot Yoga. I have been going to classes 3 to 4 times a week and I feel amazing. With every class I feel myself lighter. I love how hot the room is and how much my body is responding to letting go of toxins and pent up emotional situations. I seem to be working through a lot of my past with each class. I have never had this experience before while exercising. It has been very therapeutic. Plus I love how my body is changing and getting stronger. I can feel where my spine issues have made me weak in my body and I want to take that strength back before it's too late.

So 30 days of hot yoga has been a huge life changing success!

Yoga all weekend

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday were Yoga days for me!
I did regular yoga on Sunday which was a nice break from the Hot Yoga and last night I was able to sneak in a 8pm yoga class. This morning I work up at 5:30am feeling awake and energized.

So far this experience has been great! Some times it is hard to know what I am laying down more than other people in the class. I feel like I want to announce to the whole class that I have a spine injury and thus I can not do the full 90 minutes. So it can be hard for me to relax during the class. But it is getting easier every time I venture into the building. What I feel most is overwhelming love for my body. This body has survived two major surgeries. It is surviving a dis-ease that is chipping away at my spine. It is surviving and thriving more than I thought it would. I want to protect this body of mine. Take care of it. Feed it only the best foods available. And generally just love the hell out of it because this body of mine is in so many ways a true miracle.

I did have something interesting happen the other day to my body. I don't normally eat candy anymore but some days at work things are happening so fast I like to grab a couple of pieces to keep me going. However, the other day I did this and I had a very similar thing happen to my body that happens when I eat wheat. My body started to hurt and my legs got swollen. It was very odd since I have never noticed this type of reaction before. After an hour or so it went away but it just makes me realize that my body is way more sensitive to what I put into it that I ever thought possible. I now realize that I just can't live like other people. I can't eat whatever I want or be as lazy as I want. I have the type of body that needs to move and eat only pure food. And for the first time in my life - I am glad about this. I am so in tune with my body that I know when something I eat is not right. What a beautiful thing.

30 days

Today is the first day of 30 days of Hot Yoga*.

*I will not be going everyday but aim to go 5 days a week.

I have been wanting to try Hot Yoga for a while. I did it a few years back with a friend and loved it. After my spine injury I needed to start exploring new ways of working out that would be gentle on the spine. And after setting my intentions for this year I realized that it was time for me to move forward with doing more active hobbies.

So I signed up and I am ready to go. I will forgo visiting with friends tonight in favor of trying Hot Yoga. Tomorrow morning I also have a date with my cousin to do Hot Yoga as well.

I am looking forward to blogging about the experience. I know for many people, Hot Yoga has helped to bring about very profound changes into their lives. I am looking forward to seeing what happens and what kind of issues come up for me. Since the new year I am being challenged to be different .... in a good way. My old way of thinking, being and living no longer sit well with me. My insecurity and self bashing no longer feels good. I am ready for a positive loving change and this in a first step in the right direction.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Theme for this year!

Every year I pick a theme that helps to shape my new year.
This year I thought about having my theme be courage but after thinking about this word I realized it was not right. I don't really need courage. I have had plenty of situations over the last few years to prove I have courage. I needed something else.

After spending New Years Eve with a very good friend of mine in a beautiful old Craftsman house, I realized that I wanted a new word for the new year. It then dawned on me. What I really wanted this year to be about was Confidence.

I want to increase my confidence level to help me create into reality that dream life I know I deserve. I want to increase my confidence level to one that reflects how amazing I truly am. I want to only do things this year that help me to build my confidence level and help me to stay truly present in my life. I want to be confident to be the best person I can be. I want to work on my confidence level so I can see myself for that beautiful, talented and amazing person I know I am. I want the confidence to share my joy and sorrows with my best friends and to be able to find the beauty in solitude as well.

So this year is about me returning to myself and being present in all my interactions. I am going to do more things that I love - paddle boarding - snowshoeing - traveling - meeting new people. I am going to continue to kick ass at my amazing job. I am going to organize my home and I am going to save money while also building my wardrobe. I am going to have it all and be beautiful while I do it!

That time of year again

It's winter solstice time which is my favorite time of the year!

I consider new years eve on the solstice and every year on the solstice I start my intention list for the next year. I reflect on the past year and what I was able to accomplish and I start to really think about what I want my upcoming year to be like.

This year my theme was pleasure. I wanted to bring pleasure into all areas of my life and to really think about what gives me pleasure in life. This year has been the best year of life in so many ways. I was able to try new ways of thinking, living and eating. I started to focus only on activities that I enjoyed and I even tried new things that I will continue to do for the rest of my life. I shed a lot of the baggage from my past and have been fully present to enjoy my life at the moment. I spent a lot of time this year looking at all areas of my life and releasing people, situations and objects that no longer were bringing me positive energy.

But mostly importantly I had fun this year!
I focused on myself and truly enjoyed my year. I also have been able to bring all this positive joy and energy to those people close to me.

So what does 2012 bring? I have some themes and ideas kicking around in my head. I have many plans for the upcoming year and I have some areas where I just want to stay exactly where I am.

Holiday Parties

This week finds me planning and shopping for numerous holiday parties coming up in the next few weeks.
I just purchased a new Kate Spade cape. I am dress shopping with my stylist.. I mean friend... next week.
And I even will be getting my hair done for the Company Holiday party which is going to be HUGE. I will provide more details after the event but they have hired some big names in the music industry to play the event.

I have so much to be thankful for this year. I am constantly pinching myself to make sure it is not just a dream but in fact my life. This is the life I have been dreaming about for years. This is what I always wanted my life to look like. This is the job I have always wanted. And instead of wasting this time I am being present and relaxing and evolving into an even better version of who I am right at this moment. I have new goals. I have new plans. I have new visions but I am also loving where I am at right now.

I can't wait for the family to be back together later this month. My nephew is so excited to see everyone and all the animals we have in the family. He often tells his mother that the horses really miss him.

What inspires me right now

Sometimes I am inspired by people, sometimes it's a song and sometimes it is a movie. Last night I was inspired a wonderful new movie coming out. Hugo. It's a beautiful movie that combined enough of European charm and music that I now know I must go traveling there soon.

The movie is in 3D which makes it even more beautiful and life like. I loved the story and the fact it takes place in a train station. I have always loved train stations in Europe, they have a special energy about them.

My planning for this summer has officially begun thanks to this movie. It's all I can think of. I am creating a soundtrack of songs to take with me. I am planning what clothing I will want to take over there. I am sure a new wardrobe is in order for this trip. I have started to read the new edition of The New Yorker which is the food edition and of course now I want to take a few side trips to experience restaurants in Denmark, Italy and England. I will do my research on what is happening in the culinary world of Sweden so that I can take my beloved friends out for an incredible meal. There is so much to do and see. I know I can't fit it all into this summer but traveling to Europe is something that I want to become a tradition. It's something that I have always wanted more of since I loved in Scotland all those years ago. It's why I work as hard as I do. So that I can travel and experience life outside of my little Seattle. And it's about to become my reality.

And there is so much to be Thankful for this year. I tear up every time I think about this magical year of my life and how grateful I am for everything and everyone that has helped me over the last few years.

Dreams

I dream of boat trips in the Caribbean with girlfriends. I dream of health retreats with girlfriends in California. I dream of long walks along the highlands of Scotland with old friends. I dream of train rides across Sweden with best friends. I dream of road trips to the Southwest with my camera. I dream of lazy week along adventures across the Southern states taking only back roads. I dream of Spanish adventures with a new male companion that loves food more than anyone else I have ever met. I dream of thick soft sweaters and wellies while in New Zealand. I dream of transferring to the London office of my company where I can enjoy a pint with coworkers.

These are some of my dreams lately and all are within my reach. These dreams will become reality and spawn new dreams. And all these dreams will happen while my health heals, my heart grows, my life at home and work become strong and I stay balanced.

Planning a vacation - or two - or three

This week starts with me planning my first of many vacations coming up for the next year. I am looking at going to a health Spa in California with a best girlfriend this April. I can't wait to swim outside, be in nature, drink fresh juice and just take care of myself.

Next stop, I am off to Sweden! I was thinking about trying to also visit Scotland but with the Olympics this summer, I think it would be best to just go to Sweden, hang with my lovely friends and experience the summer of Sun!

Scotland will be next... I promise friends over there... I will return!

I have so many things I want to do and now it is all possible. With my spine injury healing and my life returning to normal.... I am back to a life I adore full of adventure, fun and wonderful people to experience it with.

Today I am grateful for everything!

First review was a success

Last week marked my first review at my job. I can now tell everyone that I passed with flying colors!

It was almost a huge love fest. This is the first time in my life where I feel successful in a corporate setting. I am part of an amazing marketing team putting out fun products that are extremely successful. I am able to work with partners internally and externally and I then I get to create communication pieces that over 15 million people world wide read. It's pretty incredible when I think of it like that. This is the job I have always dreamed about. This is the job I have worked hard to get and this is the job I want to stay in for a while.

I was extremely happy to hear all the positive feedback from my manager and coworkers. I finally feel settled and happy with my career.
Plus this job allows me to dream again in life. My desire to travel is finally starting to manifest as I am making a good wage now. I can start to save to buy a new car. I can take really good care of myself now. And I can let a lot of the stress over the last ten years fade away.

It's amazing what taking care of yourself and putting your health first can do in terms of changing your life. I am grateful for the hard times because I would never have been able to be this genuinely happy without knowing real pain.

Feeling The Balance

After rereading my last post, I realized it feels like a million years ago. I did get sick that weekend and stayed home. I took care of myself that week and now two weeks later I feel very balanced and happy.

My work has become even more intense as we slide into the busy season and yesterday I easily had the worst day I have had since I started this new job. When I was talking to my coworker today about it I said " You know, yesterday I left smiling and today I came in smiling". Which means even on my worst days, I am still happy where I am at with work. This makes me very happy and this happiness spills into all areas of my life. There is not one place in my life giving me pain right now. I know it won't be like this forever but compared to where I was just a few short years ago, where I am right now is heaven.

I have been clothes shopping lately and all I can say about my new look is "Highland Super Hero" I have a new beautiful green cape from Pendelton and some bright gold boots from Hunter and when I combine these two items... look out!

I am off to enjoy this sunny day in Seattle. One of the last sunny days we will have for a while.

This weekend

This weekend I am making a promise to myself to take it easy. I have been pushing myself too hard the last few weeks and I can feel it in my body.

My work hours have been extended and then when I leave the office, it feels like there is so much to do before the day ends. Plus, weekends are now for chores and social events. Social events tend to win this game which means chores then get pushed to the week when I am exhausted after work.

This system is simply not working for me. I need to find a bit more balance before the really busy season hits in the next few weeks.

I also realized this week that I can not eat oats anymore. They are hurting me the same way wheat has been hurting me. So I am backing off oatmeal and everything with oats.
This has helped me to feel better but this week I have been also suffering from a terrible cold so all I want is comfort.... meaning comfort clothing, comfort food and my comfy bed.

Everything else is life is good. Work is good. Life is good. I am still losing weight while not eating gluten and feeling better everyday.

I really hope it starts to snow in the mountains soon. I am getting very excited thinking about taking some cross country ski classes. I love being outside when it snows and can't wait to learn some new form of exercise. Bring it Winter!

My favorite time of year

I love the Fall!

It's not because of Halloween or Pumpkin beer that makes me giddy this time of year. And I don't normally love the Holidays so that can't be why I love the fall. It's because when the weather turns cooler I can finally pull out my cashmere sweaters and my boots. I can layer my clothing. I can pull out my wonderful scarfs and just look super cute in my knit hat.

This last week or so fall has hit. I am more prepared than ever with some new sweater additions to my wardrobe. For the first time in 10 years I can finally afford to buy new pieces for my wardrobe. With my wonderful new job, I am seriously having to step up my game in my office attire. I now work in the marketing department and it seems to be one of the more formal departments in my company. I love the feeling of looking professional when I come into work everyday. And make up.... For so many years I avoided makeup but I am now having the time of my life playing with makeup. It takes me an additional 5 minutes every morning but is well worth it.

This weekend was not long enough! I am not ready for the work week. Everyone in my office is sick and I have been fighting it for weeks. I feel like I might be losing this fight. I could just use 1 day in my bed resting with nothing to do.

My new extended hours at work have not bothered me until this weekend when I realized that I have too much to do on the weekend to prepare for the work week because I am now working much longer days. Normally I don't mind but this weekend I almost cried. That's when I realized that I must be getting sick. I usually have enough energy plus more. So I will hopefully not get too sick but I am not holding my breath. Someone sounds like they are coughing up a lung a couple of offices over from me as I am writing this.

Feeling Great

Three weeks ago I gave up wheat and gluten and I will never look back!

I can't describe how great I feel. My whole body is responding so well to this life change. I no longer feel sick. My back does not hurt. I no longer notice the nerve damage from my spine injury. I can eat and feel full. I can actually enjoy food again. I have energy all day long now. And I just feel at peace all the time.

It's amazing to list all of these changes. I had never realized how food was becoming my enemy. Now that I can look back on the last ten years, I realize how much pain I have been in. I knew 10 years ago that something had gone wrong with my stomach but I never knew what it was. I just knew I was sick, in pain, gaining weight and not happy. Now that I am gluten free and wheat free, I feel the exact opposite!

I have been cooking a lot lately. I am currently obsessed with Quinoa Salads with Goat Cheese. I add a ton of fresh herbs and fresh veggies, use my new dried herb mix for a dressing and then mix it all together. This meal has been my comfort meal as I learn to live without wheat and gluten. This transition has been very easy for me because of all the RAW foods I ate this summer. But I realized that I need to add cooked food back in until I can get to a place of optimal health. Trying to go strictly RAW was stressing me and my body out. Giving up animal products was also making me feel weak and emotionally all over the place. So while I wait for my stomach to recover from the damage done by the what, I decided to just focus on organic, gluten free foods and leave it at that.

It's fall here and that means Cashmere sweater season. This is my favorite time of the year and I am increasing the amount of sweaters and shawls I own. As my body is recovering I am starting to realize that I only want to be comfortable in life so I am clearing away all the clothing I do not like and I am only wearing clothing that feels amazing.

Giving up something

Ever since this spring when I did my Raw month, I started to notice that when I was eating regular food, my stomach would hurt all the time. I thought it was just a sign I needed to return to RAW foods and juicing but I was having trouble doing it. Don't get me wrong... I love Raw foods and I love juice fasts.

I just came to realize I could not live entirely on them at this moment. My new job is wonderful but it is a lot of work and I can't focus so much on what I am or am not eating at the moment. But I was having serious stomach and body pains. My coworker kept talking about his daughter who can't eat gluten and how he is learning to live with that. I then begin to realize that on days when I ate wheat for lunch, I hurt the worst in the afternoon. Then I started to notice that on days when I ate wheat my stomach would bloat up a lot.

So I finally took the plunge and gave up Gluten and Wheat two weeks ago. I thought it was going to be hard but I feel so much now, I am actually enjoying it. I no longer have a bloated stomach. I no longer hurt or feel any kind of inflammation in my body during the afternoon hours. My digestive system is working like a charm and in the last two weeks I have shed over 10 pounds from just giving up wheat.

So I guess I am now gluten free. It's strange to think about how one thing could cause my body to go so wonky for so many years. I feel like I can almost pinpoint when this allergy might have come on. I don't have the typical symptoms that other people have when they get this allergy. But I do know that somehow wheat was causing a lot of really bad things to happen in my body.

Paddle Boarding

This weekend I met up with a new friend and we went Paddle Boarding.
It was simply... Amazing!

I loved every moment of it. Even today, I can feel how much of a work out it was. It uses almost every muscle in your body yet is so simple and easy. It was a beautiful day on Lake Union in Seattle and the water felt very refreshing. I am hoping to go paddle boarding one day after work this week. It would be great to get a couple more sessions in before the weather turns. I did decide this weekend that once there is snow in the mountains, I am going to get a couple of cross-country ski lessons. This will be really good for my back in the same way paddle boarding is.

After paddle boarding we had a healthy lunch and just relaxed in the sunshine. I then spent the evening in a small local town that from Seattle you must take a ferry to get too. I had a wonderful little reunion of sorts with old friends. Then Sunday it was sunny and warm again. I went to the farmers market and got a pedicure.

I am exhausted today in the best way possible. I had such a healthy and fun weekend!

Another Juice Cleanse

Over the last month I have fallen off the RAW wagon hard!

I do not feel good at all. I have a lot less energy, I get bloated every time I eat, my stomach hurts and my moods are pretty low while my brain is foggy.

There is no other reason for this except that I have not been as careful about what I am eating. It's a bummer to realize I have to start from scratch again to get back to where I was just two months ago. But I am willing to do it.

So yesterday I started another juice cleanse. Day one was hard. Day two I do not feel very good but my cravings are finally going away. It has been an emotional journey in many ways to get to day 3. I have spent a good part of the last year totally changing the way I eat and what I eat. But the work never stops. Just in the last month I have resorted to old ways- sort of. I am not eating unhealthy foods. I am just depending on kelp noodles or flax crackers too much and not eating enough veggies. I have been eating more potatoes (not raw) and not enough salads. And I have been eating more than I need. This has been the hardest lesson. If given the chance, I will simply eat more than my body needs.

That's what so amazing about doing a juice cleanse. The realization that I don't actually need that much food right now. My metabolism is very slow from being bed ridden and on the medications I was on. At this point I am not even sure I need to eat two meals a day. With the juice cleanse I realize that 3 juices a day are really all I need.

Today is day 3. I am clear headed. My energy level is back and I am very, very happy. I am so happy to be at this place in my cleanse. I am hoping for maybe 10 days this time. Yesterday afternoon was the turning point. That's when I realized I started to feel really good and my food cravings stopped. My stomach is no longer bloated and I am starting to slim down.

I signed up today for paddle boarding lessons to help me get active again. After realizing this spring that I can not run anymore because it was causing more numbness in my legs.... I got depressed. No other exercise feels as good to me as running did. Just 20 minutes made me feel amazing! I am frustrated by not being able to run and depressed that my spine is simply not going to allow me to do whatever I want. But I recently made a new friend and she loves paddle boarding. It is something I have been wanting to do for a while so I suggested we meet up this weekend to do it. I am so excited! I love the water, I love swimming and I love the idea of being active and using my core muscles. So paddle boarding this summer and then snow shoeing this winter. I can't wait!

Sorry it's been so long!

What a whirlwind last couple of months!

I don't even know where to begin. Tomorrow is my birthday and I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately on the last year and with all honesty I can say..... This year has been one of the best years of my life!

Let me see if I can break it down a bit.

Health- My body is my temple. I have been more active and loving towards my body this year. I have been working out on a constant basis and really taking care of myself. The most important area of growth over the last year for me was my changes in eating habits. Starting on the journey towards a more RAW and vegan diet has been very exciting and the most loving thing I have ever done for myself. My stomach never hurts and I feel like I have unlimited energy all day long. I no longer drink any kind of caffeine and mentally I am in such a strong place and to me it all relates to the changes in my diet. My body is rewarding me so much with all these changes.
On a side note to my health is how much I have grown in terms of my relationship with food. I no longer see it as in the same light. I have really challenge myself to take a different approach with food. Food is no longer a reward in my mind or an excuse. It is simply something I need to live and something that I need to monitor but in a very loving way. I now question everything I eat every time I eat and there is nothing but love for the process. I no longer have the addiction towards food I once had. It is a stable relationship with room to grow!

Work- This last year has been amazing for my career. I finally feel like I found my place in life at the moment. I am in an industry I love! I am in a large corporation I love! I am in a job I love! And I am on a team I love! I know work has it's ups and downs but for me this year has been about proving to myself that I am smart enough to be successful. I finally gave myself permission to be an adult on the job and I am being rewarded beyond belief. I have overcome so many challenges in my career and setbacks that it feels good to finally be in a place of pure joy, growth and excitement over the present and future! And I even got a HUGE promotion at work this month. What an amazing journey!

Life- I guess this is where everything else goes. I have been working on myself over this last year and I can see so much progress in myself. I have been meeting every Saturday morning with a group of ladies I adore and we have all grown so much! It's amazing to see how my relationships have changed over the last year thanks to the wisdom of all these women. I know I have learned to be truly present, I have learned to be patient and I have learned to be dependable. I feel more open to trusting myself, other people and fate. I think one of the best lessons I have learned over the last year is to be truly happy spending time alone. I am my own best friend. While I have an amazing group of friends, family and a wonderful support system, I also know that I am truly all I need in life. It's so different than where I was just a year ago. Such progress!

I am sure there are a million more lessons, events and amazing changes but this is all I can think of for now. I am glad to be back online and updating my blog.

One sad note for me is that I will be missing the Vida Vegan Con blogging conference this year. I was really looking forward to meeting other Vegan and RAW food bloggers but I promise I will try to be at the next one!

Too long

Whoa!

It was been way too long since I last posted. What has happened over the last month?
Let me think:

My work load has gone up four times the amount as normal. My team has crumbled I am the lone person left picking up the pieces. It has been an interesting expereince and I am not unhappy about it. I just have had a lot more work than I can handle and it has zapped my energy away. I am proud of how I have been able to step up and get everything done. And I have been doing a really great job!

I also have been much more social than normal. I have been going out more with new friends and I love it. However.... I do notice that I am not as in balance when I am so social. I had to hide by the end of the weekend because I was getting a little cranky at myself. I think one of my goals this year will be how to live in balance in all situations in life.

I have been eating raw salads everynight with veggies I have been growing in my garden. I have not been as good about having my raw smootie in the morning and lunch I have been slipping off the RAW pathway. But now that the sun is out I am encourage to eat more raw and soak in the beauty of summer.