Yoga all weekend

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday were Yoga days for me!
I did regular yoga on Sunday which was a nice break from the Hot Yoga and last night I was able to sneak in a 8pm yoga class. This morning I work up at 5:30am feeling awake and energized.

So far this experience has been great! Some times it is hard to know what I am laying down more than other people in the class. I feel like I want to announce to the whole class that I have a spine injury and thus I can not do the full 90 minutes. So it can be hard for me to relax during the class. But it is getting easier every time I venture into the building. What I feel most is overwhelming love for my body. This body has survived two major surgeries. It is surviving a dis-ease that is chipping away at my spine. It is surviving and thriving more than I thought it would. I want to protect this body of mine. Take care of it. Feed it only the best foods available. And generally just love the hell out of it because this body of mine is in so many ways a true miracle.

I did have something interesting happen the other day to my body. I don't normally eat candy anymore but some days at work things are happening so fast I like to grab a couple of pieces to keep me going. However, the other day I did this and I had a very similar thing happen to my body that happens when I eat wheat. My body started to hurt and my legs got swollen. It was very odd since I have never noticed this type of reaction before. After an hour or so it went away but it just makes me realize that my body is way more sensitive to what I put into it that I ever thought possible. I now realize that I just can't live like other people. I can't eat whatever I want or be as lazy as I want. I have the type of body that needs to move and eat only pure food. And for the first time in my life - I am glad about this. I am so in tune with my body that I know when something I eat is not right. What a beautiful thing.

30 days

Today is the first day of 30 days of Hot Yoga*.

*I will not be going everyday but aim to go 5 days a week.

I have been wanting to try Hot Yoga for a while. I did it a few years back with a friend and loved it. After my spine injury I needed to start exploring new ways of working out that would be gentle on the spine. And after setting my intentions for this year I realized that it was time for me to move forward with doing more active hobbies.

So I signed up and I am ready to go. I will forgo visiting with friends tonight in favor of trying Hot Yoga. Tomorrow morning I also have a date with my cousin to do Hot Yoga as well.

I am looking forward to blogging about the experience. I know for many people, Hot Yoga has helped to bring about very profound changes into their lives. I am looking forward to seeing what happens and what kind of issues come up for me. Since the new year I am being challenged to be different .... in a good way. My old way of thinking, being and living no longer sit well with me. My insecurity and self bashing no longer feels good. I am ready for a positive loving change and this in a first step in the right direction.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Theme for this year!

Every year I pick a theme that helps to shape my new year.
This year I thought about having my theme be courage but after thinking about this word I realized it was not right. I don't really need courage. I have had plenty of situations over the last few years to prove I have courage. I needed something else.

After spending New Years Eve with a very good friend of mine in a beautiful old Craftsman house, I realized that I wanted a new word for the new year. It then dawned on me. What I really wanted this year to be about was Confidence.

I want to increase my confidence level to help me create into reality that dream life I know I deserve. I want to increase my confidence level to one that reflects how amazing I truly am. I want to only do things this year that help me to build my confidence level and help me to stay truly present in my life. I want to be confident to be the best person I can be. I want to work on my confidence level so I can see myself for that beautiful, talented and amazing person I know I am. I want the confidence to share my joy and sorrows with my best friends and to be able to find the beauty in solitude as well.

So this year is about me returning to myself and being present in all my interactions. I am going to do more things that I love - paddle boarding - snowshoeing - traveling - meeting new people. I am going to continue to kick ass at my amazing job. I am going to organize my home and I am going to save money while also building my wardrobe. I am going to have it all and be beautiful while I do it!

That time of year again

It's winter solstice time which is my favorite time of the year!

I consider new years eve on the solstice and every year on the solstice I start my intention list for the next year. I reflect on the past year and what I was able to accomplish and I start to really think about what I want my upcoming year to be like.

This year my theme was pleasure. I wanted to bring pleasure into all areas of my life and to really think about what gives me pleasure in life. This year has been the best year of life in so many ways. I was able to try new ways of thinking, living and eating. I started to focus only on activities that I enjoyed and I even tried new things that I will continue to do for the rest of my life. I shed a lot of the baggage from my past and have been fully present to enjoy my life at the moment. I spent a lot of time this year looking at all areas of my life and releasing people, situations and objects that no longer were bringing me positive energy.

But mostly importantly I had fun this year!
I focused on myself and truly enjoyed my year. I also have been able to bring all this positive joy and energy to those people close to me.

So what does 2012 bring? I have some themes and ideas kicking around in my head. I have many plans for the upcoming year and I have some areas where I just want to stay exactly where I am.

Holiday Parties

This week finds me planning and shopping for numerous holiday parties coming up in the next few weeks.
I just purchased a new Kate Spade cape. I am dress shopping with my stylist.. I mean friend... next week.
And I even will be getting my hair done for the Company Holiday party which is going to be HUGE. I will provide more details after the event but they have hired some big names in the music industry to play the event.

I have so much to be thankful for this year. I am constantly pinching myself to make sure it is not just a dream but in fact my life. This is the life I have been dreaming about for years. This is what I always wanted my life to look like. This is the job I have always wanted. And instead of wasting this time I am being present and relaxing and evolving into an even better version of who I am right at this moment. I have new goals. I have new plans. I have new visions but I am also loving where I am at right now.

I can't wait for the family to be back together later this month. My nephew is so excited to see everyone and all the animals we have in the family. He often tells his mother that the horses really miss him.

What inspires me right now

Sometimes I am inspired by people, sometimes it's a song and sometimes it is a movie. Last night I was inspired a wonderful new movie coming out. Hugo. It's a beautiful movie that combined enough of European charm and music that I now know I must go traveling there soon.

The movie is in 3D which makes it even more beautiful and life like. I loved the story and the fact it takes place in a train station. I have always loved train stations in Europe, they have a special energy about them.

My planning for this summer has officially begun thanks to this movie. It's all I can think of. I am creating a soundtrack of songs to take with me. I am planning what clothing I will want to take over there. I am sure a new wardrobe is in order for this trip. I have started to read the new edition of The New Yorker which is the food edition and of course now I want to take a few side trips to experience restaurants in Denmark, Italy and England. I will do my research on what is happening in the culinary world of Sweden so that I can take my beloved friends out for an incredible meal. There is so much to do and see. I know I can't fit it all into this summer but traveling to Europe is something that I want to become a tradition. It's something that I have always wanted more of since I loved in Scotland all those years ago. It's why I work as hard as I do. So that I can travel and experience life outside of my little Seattle. And it's about to become my reality.

And there is so much to be Thankful for this year. I tear up every time I think about this magical year of my life and how grateful I am for everything and everyone that has helped me over the last few years.

Dreams

I dream of boat trips in the Caribbean with girlfriends. I dream of health retreats with girlfriends in California. I dream of long walks along the highlands of Scotland with old friends. I dream of train rides across Sweden with best friends. I dream of road trips to the Southwest with my camera. I dream of lazy week along adventures across the Southern states taking only back roads. I dream of Spanish adventures with a new male companion that loves food more than anyone else I have ever met. I dream of thick soft sweaters and wellies while in New Zealand. I dream of transferring to the London office of my company where I can enjoy a pint with coworkers.

These are some of my dreams lately and all are within my reach. These dreams will become reality and spawn new dreams. And all these dreams will happen while my health heals, my heart grows, my life at home and work become strong and I stay balanced.

Planning a vacation - or two - or three

This week starts with me planning my first of many vacations coming up for the next year. I am looking at going to a health Spa in California with a best girlfriend this April. I can't wait to swim outside, be in nature, drink fresh juice and just take care of myself.

Next stop, I am off to Sweden! I was thinking about trying to also visit Scotland but with the Olympics this summer, I think it would be best to just go to Sweden, hang with my lovely friends and experience the summer of Sun!

Scotland will be next... I promise friends over there... I will return!

I have so many things I want to do and now it is all possible. With my spine injury healing and my life returning to normal.... I am back to a life I adore full of adventure, fun and wonderful people to experience it with.

Today I am grateful for everything!

First review was a success

Last week marked my first review at my job. I can now tell everyone that I passed with flying colors!

It was almost a huge love fest. This is the first time in my life where I feel successful in a corporate setting. I am part of an amazing marketing team putting out fun products that are extremely successful. I am able to work with partners internally and externally and I then I get to create communication pieces that over 15 million people world wide read. It's pretty incredible when I think of it like that. This is the job I have always dreamed about. This is the job I have worked hard to get and this is the job I want to stay in for a while.

I was extremely happy to hear all the positive feedback from my manager and coworkers. I finally feel settled and happy with my career.
Plus this job allows me to dream again in life. My desire to travel is finally starting to manifest as I am making a good wage now. I can start to save to buy a new car. I can take really good care of myself now. And I can let a lot of the stress over the last ten years fade away.

It's amazing what taking care of yourself and putting your health first can do in terms of changing your life. I am grateful for the hard times because I would never have been able to be this genuinely happy without knowing real pain.

Feeling The Balance

After rereading my last post, I realized it feels like a million years ago. I did get sick that weekend and stayed home. I took care of myself that week and now two weeks later I feel very balanced and happy.

My work has become even more intense as we slide into the busy season and yesterday I easily had the worst day I have had since I started this new job. When I was talking to my coworker today about it I said " You know, yesterday I left smiling and today I came in smiling". Which means even on my worst days, I am still happy where I am at with work. This makes me very happy and this happiness spills into all areas of my life. There is not one place in my life giving me pain right now. I know it won't be like this forever but compared to where I was just a few short years ago, where I am right now is heaven.

I have been clothes shopping lately and all I can say about my new look is "Highland Super Hero" I have a new beautiful green cape from Pendelton and some bright gold boots from Hunter and when I combine these two items... look out!

I am off to enjoy this sunny day in Seattle. One of the last sunny days we will have for a while.

This weekend

This weekend I am making a promise to myself to take it easy. I have been pushing myself too hard the last few weeks and I can feel it in my body.

My work hours have been extended and then when I leave the office, it feels like there is so much to do before the day ends. Plus, weekends are now for chores and social events. Social events tend to win this game which means chores then get pushed to the week when I am exhausted after work.

This system is simply not working for me. I need to find a bit more balance before the really busy season hits in the next few weeks.

I also realized this week that I can not eat oats anymore. They are hurting me the same way wheat has been hurting me. So I am backing off oatmeal and everything with oats.
This has helped me to feel better but this week I have been also suffering from a terrible cold so all I want is comfort.... meaning comfort clothing, comfort food and my comfy bed.

Everything else is life is good. Work is good. Life is good. I am still losing weight while not eating gluten and feeling better everyday.

I really hope it starts to snow in the mountains soon. I am getting very excited thinking about taking some cross country ski classes. I love being outside when it snows and can't wait to learn some new form of exercise. Bring it Winter!

My favorite time of year

I love the Fall!

It's not because of Halloween or Pumpkin beer that makes me giddy this time of year. And I don't normally love the Holidays so that can't be why I love the fall. It's because when the weather turns cooler I can finally pull out my cashmere sweaters and my boots. I can layer my clothing. I can pull out my wonderful scarfs and just look super cute in my knit hat.

This last week or so fall has hit. I am more prepared than ever with some new sweater additions to my wardrobe. For the first time in 10 years I can finally afford to buy new pieces for my wardrobe. With my wonderful new job, I am seriously having to step up my game in my office attire. I now work in the marketing department and it seems to be one of the more formal departments in my company. I love the feeling of looking professional when I come into work everyday. And make up.... For so many years I avoided makeup but I am now having the time of my life playing with makeup. It takes me an additional 5 minutes every morning but is well worth it.

This weekend was not long enough! I am not ready for the work week. Everyone in my office is sick and I have been fighting it for weeks. I feel like I might be losing this fight. I could just use 1 day in my bed resting with nothing to do.

My new extended hours at work have not bothered me until this weekend when I realized that I have too much to do on the weekend to prepare for the work week because I am now working much longer days. Normally I don't mind but this weekend I almost cried. That's when I realized that I must be getting sick. I usually have enough energy plus more. So I will hopefully not get too sick but I am not holding my breath. Someone sounds like they are coughing up a lung a couple of offices over from me as I am writing this.

Feeling Great

Three weeks ago I gave up wheat and gluten and I will never look back!

I can't describe how great I feel. My whole body is responding so well to this life change. I no longer feel sick. My back does not hurt. I no longer notice the nerve damage from my spine injury. I can eat and feel full. I can actually enjoy food again. I have energy all day long now. And I just feel at peace all the time.

It's amazing to list all of these changes. I had never realized how food was becoming my enemy. Now that I can look back on the last ten years, I realize how much pain I have been in. I knew 10 years ago that something had gone wrong with my stomach but I never knew what it was. I just knew I was sick, in pain, gaining weight and not happy. Now that I am gluten free and wheat free, I feel the exact opposite!

I have been cooking a lot lately. I am currently obsessed with Quinoa Salads with Goat Cheese. I add a ton of fresh herbs and fresh veggies, use my new dried herb mix for a dressing and then mix it all together. This meal has been my comfort meal as I learn to live without wheat and gluten. This transition has been very easy for me because of all the RAW foods I ate this summer. But I realized that I need to add cooked food back in until I can get to a place of optimal health. Trying to go strictly RAW was stressing me and my body out. Giving up animal products was also making me feel weak and emotionally all over the place. So while I wait for my stomach to recover from the damage done by the what, I decided to just focus on organic, gluten free foods and leave it at that.

It's fall here and that means Cashmere sweater season. This is my favorite time of the year and I am increasing the amount of sweaters and shawls I own. As my body is recovering I am starting to realize that I only want to be comfortable in life so I am clearing away all the clothing I do not like and I am only wearing clothing that feels amazing.

Giving up something

Ever since this spring when I did my Raw month, I started to notice that when I was eating regular food, my stomach would hurt all the time. I thought it was just a sign I needed to return to RAW foods and juicing but I was having trouble doing it. Don't get me wrong... I love Raw foods and I love juice fasts.

I just came to realize I could not live entirely on them at this moment. My new job is wonderful but it is a lot of work and I can't focus so much on what I am or am not eating at the moment. But I was having serious stomach and body pains. My coworker kept talking about his daughter who can't eat gluten and how he is learning to live with that. I then begin to realize that on days when I ate wheat for lunch, I hurt the worst in the afternoon. Then I started to notice that on days when I ate wheat my stomach would bloat up a lot.

So I finally took the plunge and gave up Gluten and Wheat two weeks ago. I thought it was going to be hard but I feel so much now, I am actually enjoying it. I no longer have a bloated stomach. I no longer hurt or feel any kind of inflammation in my body during the afternoon hours. My digestive system is working like a charm and in the last two weeks I have shed over 10 pounds from just giving up wheat.

So I guess I am now gluten free. It's strange to think about how one thing could cause my body to go so wonky for so many years. I feel like I can almost pinpoint when this allergy might have come on. I don't have the typical symptoms that other people have when they get this allergy. But I do know that somehow wheat was causing a lot of really bad things to happen in my body.

Paddle Boarding

This weekend I met up with a new friend and we went Paddle Boarding.
It was simply... Amazing!

I loved every moment of it. Even today, I can feel how much of a work out it was. It uses almost every muscle in your body yet is so simple and easy. It was a beautiful day on Lake Union in Seattle and the water felt very refreshing. I am hoping to go paddle boarding one day after work this week. It would be great to get a couple more sessions in before the weather turns. I did decide this weekend that once there is snow in the mountains, I am going to get a couple of cross-country ski lessons. This will be really good for my back in the same way paddle boarding is.

After paddle boarding we had a healthy lunch and just relaxed in the sunshine. I then spent the evening in a small local town that from Seattle you must take a ferry to get too. I had a wonderful little reunion of sorts with old friends. Then Sunday it was sunny and warm again. I went to the farmers market and got a pedicure.

I am exhausted today in the best way possible. I had such a healthy and fun weekend!

Another Juice Cleanse

Over the last month I have fallen off the RAW wagon hard!

I do not feel good at all. I have a lot less energy, I get bloated every time I eat, my stomach hurts and my moods are pretty low while my brain is foggy.

There is no other reason for this except that I have not been as careful about what I am eating. It's a bummer to realize I have to start from scratch again to get back to where I was just two months ago. But I am willing to do it.

So yesterday I started another juice cleanse. Day one was hard. Day two I do not feel very good but my cravings are finally going away. It has been an emotional journey in many ways to get to day 3. I have spent a good part of the last year totally changing the way I eat and what I eat. But the work never stops. Just in the last month I have resorted to old ways- sort of. I am not eating unhealthy foods. I am just depending on kelp noodles or flax crackers too much and not eating enough veggies. I have been eating more potatoes (not raw) and not enough salads. And I have been eating more than I need. This has been the hardest lesson. If given the chance, I will simply eat more than my body needs.

That's what so amazing about doing a juice cleanse. The realization that I don't actually need that much food right now. My metabolism is very slow from being bed ridden and on the medications I was on. At this point I am not even sure I need to eat two meals a day. With the juice cleanse I realize that 3 juices a day are really all I need.

Today is day 3. I am clear headed. My energy level is back and I am very, very happy. I am so happy to be at this place in my cleanse. I am hoping for maybe 10 days this time. Yesterday afternoon was the turning point. That's when I realized I started to feel really good and my food cravings stopped. My stomach is no longer bloated and I am starting to slim down.

I signed up today for paddle boarding lessons to help me get active again. After realizing this spring that I can not run anymore because it was causing more numbness in my legs.... I got depressed. No other exercise feels as good to me as running did. Just 20 minutes made me feel amazing! I am frustrated by not being able to run and depressed that my spine is simply not going to allow me to do whatever I want. But I recently made a new friend and she loves paddle boarding. It is something I have been wanting to do for a while so I suggested we meet up this weekend to do it. I am so excited! I love the water, I love swimming and I love the idea of being active and using my core muscles. So paddle boarding this summer and then snow shoeing this winter. I can't wait!

Sorry it's been so long!

What a whirlwind last couple of months!

I don't even know where to begin. Tomorrow is my birthday and I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately on the last year and with all honesty I can say..... This year has been one of the best years of my life!

Let me see if I can break it down a bit.

Health- My body is my temple. I have been more active and loving towards my body this year. I have been working out on a constant basis and really taking care of myself. The most important area of growth over the last year for me was my changes in eating habits. Starting on the journey towards a more RAW and vegan diet has been very exciting and the most loving thing I have ever done for myself. My stomach never hurts and I feel like I have unlimited energy all day long. I no longer drink any kind of caffeine and mentally I am in such a strong place and to me it all relates to the changes in my diet. My body is rewarding me so much with all these changes.
On a side note to my health is how much I have grown in terms of my relationship with food. I no longer see it as in the same light. I have really challenge myself to take a different approach with food. Food is no longer a reward in my mind or an excuse. It is simply something I need to live and something that I need to monitor but in a very loving way. I now question everything I eat every time I eat and there is nothing but love for the process. I no longer have the addiction towards food I once had. It is a stable relationship with room to grow!

Work- This last year has been amazing for my career. I finally feel like I found my place in life at the moment. I am in an industry I love! I am in a large corporation I love! I am in a job I love! And I am on a team I love! I know work has it's ups and downs but for me this year has been about proving to myself that I am smart enough to be successful. I finally gave myself permission to be an adult on the job and I am being rewarded beyond belief. I have overcome so many challenges in my career and setbacks that it feels good to finally be in a place of pure joy, growth and excitement over the present and future! And I even got a HUGE promotion at work this month. What an amazing journey!

Life- I guess this is where everything else goes. I have been working on myself over this last year and I can see so much progress in myself. I have been meeting every Saturday morning with a group of ladies I adore and we have all grown so much! It's amazing to see how my relationships have changed over the last year thanks to the wisdom of all these women. I know I have learned to be truly present, I have learned to be patient and I have learned to be dependable. I feel more open to trusting myself, other people and fate. I think one of the best lessons I have learned over the last year is to be truly happy spending time alone. I am my own best friend. While I have an amazing group of friends, family and a wonderful support system, I also know that I am truly all I need in life. It's so different than where I was just a year ago. Such progress!

I am sure there are a million more lessons, events and amazing changes but this is all I can think of for now. I am glad to be back online and updating my blog.

One sad note for me is that I will be missing the Vida Vegan Con blogging conference this year. I was really looking forward to meeting other Vegan and RAW food bloggers but I promise I will try to be at the next one!

Too long

Whoa!

It was been way too long since I last posted. What has happened over the last month?
Let me think:

My work load has gone up four times the amount as normal. My team has crumbled I am the lone person left picking up the pieces. It has been an interesting expereince and I am not unhappy about it. I just have had a lot more work than I can handle and it has zapped my energy away. I am proud of how I have been able to step up and get everything done. And I have been doing a really great job!

I also have been much more social than normal. I have been going out more with new friends and I love it. However.... I do notice that I am not as in balance when I am so social. I had to hide by the end of the weekend because I was getting a little cranky at myself. I think one of my goals this year will be how to live in balance in all situations in life.

I have been eating raw salads everynight with veggies I have been growing in my garden. I have not been as good about having my raw smootie in the morning and lunch I have been slipping off the RAW pathway. But now that the sun is out I am encourage to eat more raw and soak in the beauty of summer.

What a wonderful long weekend!

I am still in a state of bliss from my amazing weekend!

This weekend was filled with new friends that I just adore. I have been making so many wonderful new friends and feeling like I am on this incredible new journey in life. Everything feels different! I feel different! I feel like I have new energy and it is attracting the kind of friends I have always wanted. I am so grateful for all the work I have done over the last couple of years to get here. Exactly where I want to be!

I was able to go to a baseball game this weekend, have lunch with a good friend, attend an amazing BBQ, take a short nap, clean my room, plant more veggies in my garden, enjoy the sunshine, have korean food, have RAW food, read a very empowering book and the list goes on.

I wish every weekend was a three day relax fest like this weekend was! I am so grateful to everyone I was able to interact with this weekend and I wish we could have kept the party going!

One side note, I have never been one to walk away from difficult situations or people. I usually keep trying to work things out way past their experiation date but this weekend I realized that for once I am going to make the right choice. I am going to walk away and not engage with someone that is clearly very unhealthy. I have too many wonderful and positive things happening in my life right now and I just want to keep growing. This is a very healthy decision for me and I feel very strong about it. The Universe is showing me such love right now!

What I Am Dreaming About

This week has been filled with a longing to make some vision maps for my future. I have a vision of what I would like the rest of the year to be like and I need to put it into motion. I just need to actually carve out the time and create the space to put this vision onto paper.

For the most part my next six months includes continuing to put my health and well being on center stage. I want to continue the RAW Foods and working out routine. I would actually like to take it up a notch if possible.
I would like to have some stability in my job. I am not on my career path yet but I know I am getting closer. I just need something I can depend on for a year or so while I get healthier.
I would like to create a larger community of like minded people. I would like this to include men and women. I am finally starting to get serious about wanting to create a partnership with someone while also creating a strong community of people I can count on. It feels good to finally admit this to myself and others. For so long I lived as if I was an Island and did not need anyone but I now see how unhealthy this thought pattern is.
And finally, I would like to live in a clean and well organized living environment. I am not an organized person by any means. It just is not how I think. But as I get older I long to come home to a nice comfortable living environment. This means I must go through all of my personal belongings and clean house. I must release the past and move forward. This is a large undertaking and will require all summer to accomplish but I long for this so I must move forward.

This week I planted my 14 different heirloom tomatoes. I have been eating Arugula, Bib salads all week from my garden. I can't wait for a summer full of fresh tomatoes, basil and Arugula salads! Fresh corn season has hit Seattle and I am really enjoying adding that to my salads as well as a ripe Avocado. I think it's almost lunch time!

I have a new hero!

This week has been a wonderful week. I finally have my spark back! Not only have I had a week full of amazing events, I have also made time to go to the gym! I have not been able to do my laundary but I can do that this weekend.

Let's see where to start....

This week was my first but not my last Geek Girl event. This month it was hosted by Facebook at their sister office in Seattle. It was so amazing to be in a room full of other women in the Tech world. It made me wish I had majored in Computer Science when I was in school. It was a wonderful expereince to hear more about how facebook is built and how the company is run. I loved the fact they hire people not just for projects but because they are talented and then once they have gone through the boot camp session they can pick what projects they want to work on. Imagine a company hiring you just on wanting you to join the company and then allowing you to find out where your strengths are! Sounds divine.

Then last night I met the most amazing lady, Ani Phyo. She is a raw food author and eco lifestyle expert. I was lucky enough to be able to speak with her before the event and was so inspired when I found out she used to work in the Tech world. I felt like all evening she was sharing her story just to me and all about me. We have so many similarties in terms of career, interests and just life goals. I was really inspired by this talk and in awe of the fact she has been able to make a raw version of rice that when I first tried it I just assumed it was brown rice! The talk was at a wonderful resort on Lake Washington and it was a perfect sunny day. I can't wait to try some of her recipes from her new book, including my faborite Korean Food dishes. Over the last year I have been obessed with Korean food. I love all the Kim Chee and side dishes and was so excited when I heard that a large part of her new book is dedicated to these dishes.

I feel more inspired to keep moving forward on my RAW path way and to learn more. I would love to visit Ani in LA and just spend an afternoon talking with her about life. She would be a great mentor and friend.

Sunny Day!

It is finally sunny here!
I can't believe how a little sunshine can improve everything. I feel like a happy little busy bee.

Today I received word that I am going to the Vida Vegan Blogger Confernce this summer in Portland! Not only am I super excited to go to this wonderful event, but it is also my birthday weekend! I can't wait to finally meet all the wonderful people that write my favorite vegan and RAW food blogs. I also love Portland and am looking forward to a weekend away. This was such a great surprise. I needed a little pick me up and this email was just what I needed.

This morning I have been experimenting with RAW/Vegan breakfast options. I had some Chia breakfast cereal with Almond Milk. It was wonderful and super filling. I have been munching on veggies and raw nuts. I am finally starting to feel better and more grounded!

I am going to have to cut down on the running I am doing. I am having some issues with my spine and numbness so it pains me to cut back on my favorite activity but until I know that this is the root cause of my issues it is too risking for me to continue. Lucky for me I joined the gym a couple of weeks ago so I will just transfer to working out there doing things I know won't hurt my spine.

Returning to the RAW

Last week all the little stresses in life seem to wrap up within 24 hours to allow for me to return to life. Some parts of this completion were easy, some parts were hard but I managed to make it through the week and then collapse on the weekend.

I took this weekend off from life. I slept 12 hours on Friday night. I slept 10 hours on Saturday night. I stayed close to home and I did not see anybody. I just needed a weekend to decompress, clean my house and prepare to return to the RAW lifestyle. I was so mentally and physically exhausted I felt like a shell of myself all weekend.

Today I am in a very neutral place. I am happy because I spent the time yesterday to prepare an amazing day of RAW foods. I am going to really push for a RAW work week this week. I need to get back to that place of health. I felt amazing just a month ago when I was RAW 5 days out of the week. I also need to return to moving my body and taking better care of myself. I long for the feeling of getting smaller, waking up with an amazing amount of energy and the overall happiness that I felt all day long.

My job is ending in 6 weeks and I have a couple of things in the works. I am not stressed out or fearful of this transition. I am excited because I know the next thing is right around the corner. And until I know what path I should take I am happy to come into the office and do the work that has brought me joy over the last six months.

I did get a chance this weekend to visit the Vegan RAW cafe on Vashon, Pure. It was a wonderful sunny day and I just needed an Island adventure all alone to soothe my tired soul. After spending a couple of hours in the woods with Ahmi I stopped by Pure for a veggie juice. It was wonderful to see a Vegan cafe packed full of people. I wished I could have tried the RAW arugula Pizza but at that point all I craved was some veggie juice. I look forward to coming back to this cute cafe and trying more off their wonderful menu. It also inspired me to really think about 105degrees again.....

I am going to work on a vision map this week for myself that includes 105degrees. It's time to get serious about making this dream a reality!

*side note, 105degrees has changed it's name into Matthew Kenney Academy. He is the founder and visionary behind the school. I will need to remember this for future postings.

I was once

I was once the picture of a great work life balance!
I was able to get my job done without any mistakes. I was able to come home and really take care of myself. I had consent energy all day long and felt great.

I am no longer this person and it is making me very upset. Why would I agree easily to becoming so non-present in my life? Why do I associate success with becoming so busy I don't know if I am coming or going? Why are the little things slipping from my grasp?

I just decided this whole thing needs to end right now! I need my life back and I am no longer willing to give up my balance and peace for success. I have been making too many mistakes in all area's of my life to allow this to continue.

But the kicker is that not all of my decisions I have been making are up to me! My mother is moving away so I must spend time with her. My job is becoming more demanding so I must spend time on the weekend working on it......etc etc

At least it feels like I have no control over my time right now. And to top it off, it feels like everyone I know is coming out of the woodwork and wanting to spend time with me. So on top of being so busy I can't see straight, I am too busy to see people that I care about and I feel guilty for turning people away. Arghh!

I knew I would lose my balance a little bit but I had no idea the eye of the strom would hit all at once and that I would suddenly sell myself out by giving up my need for balance. I am my own worst enemy right now.

Need to get the happy back

I need to get my happy back!

These last few weeks have blown all my peace and balance right out the window. I am worn down, bordering on getting a cold, exhausted and I have lost my energy.

It's so strange to take a sudden turn for the worse. My back has been hurting for the first time in almost a year and I am just low grade right now about everything.

I do know several key factors on why this is happening. I have a job change coming up, my mother is moving to the East Coast next week and we have not seen the sun in what feels like months. Plus, I have been allowing for too many things to throw me off my routine in life.

So this week I am slowly going to work towards getting my balance back. I made the decision to not go after a job raise and change and instead to just remain where I am at because as soon as the idea of going after a higher level job came up my health went down hill fast. As soon as I made this decision it just felt right. I need balance before I can return to working towards my career. As weak as that might sound. I simply can not afford another health issue mentally or emotionally at this point.

This means that the next few weeks I will be taking life at a slower pace and trying to spend as much time outside in nature as I can. I will be putting my trust in the Universe and just trying to find my balance in life.