Feeling the LOVE!

Today is my birthday!

Last year at this time I wrote about how due to my illness I finally had to let go and allow people to help me and throw me a birthday bash. After years of throwing my own party and feeling like I needed to do all the work, I suddenly realized in one of my darkest periods that I needed to allow the love and abundance to come to me. For all the manifesting work I do, sometimes I can be stubborn and insist on doing all the work. But I have realized over the last year that the Universe wants to do more work and wants me to do less work on manifesting and intention work. So I am practicing allowing myself to receive and not be in constant work mode.

Well I am happy to say that this birthday has been one wonderful moment after another. I could not have asked for a better day than today! I have been truly blessed by all the birthday love, phone calls, gifts, flowers and kind words I have experienced today. I woke up this morning at the time of my birth and make an intention for the up coming year. I intend for this next year to be one of the best years of my life.

I spent the morning writing and setting intentions for the up coming year. I went to a very cozy book store / cafe and just allowed myself the time and space to do what ever I wanted with the rest of the day. I had a wonderful tarot reading from my soul sister Rose who is my very good psychic friend. She confirmed all the thoughts and intentions I set this morning without even realizing what I had put on my list. It gave me the warm and fuzzes. I am not resting before dinner with my wonderful aunties and then off to cocktails with two of my best girlfriends from middle school! We have not see each other in over 15 years and yet, out of the blue both ladies contacted me and asked what I was doing this evening. It is a mini reunion and I could not have asked for a better day to see everyone.

One final note, last night I was talking with my father about what my life was like this time last year. I could barely walk and thought I might be permanently disabled. I was either asleep or crying most of the time and I was scared about my future. Deep down all I could think or feel was that I just wanted to get better so I could make candles. This motivated me every moment while I was in rehab and trying to walk again. To see where I am now as compared to last year all I can think is how grateful I am to be alive and healthy. I still have spine issues that are going to be with me for the rest of my life. But I just am grateful for what health I have been able to work on bringing back and I feel better than I have in a long time. I truly believe that one part miracle, one part gratitude and one part hard work has saved my life and allowed me to continue to make my candles and bring joy into this world.

Keep Calm

This is my new theme. I bought this poster a few weeks ago and I have it up at my studio. I love looking at it if I am stressed or just as a reminder that I should keep on being happy! Pressure Press in my new hero. These posters come in wonderful colors and look as good in person as they do in their photographs. I bought the orange one but am thinking about getting a few more in various colors.

Today I attempted to get to my studio which is normally a 15 minute drive but after an hour I gave up. Working in the industrial area I see a lot of trucks. I am ok with trucks but if you add all the people who took a Friday off work, over sized trucks with giant yachts on them and cement trucks, plus all the people going from Lake Washington to the Puget Sound. Well what was once a 15 min drive took well over an hour. So I am back home and taking care of myself in other ways. I am having a cup of tea and cleaning my room. This actually makes me happier than if I was at the studio so it all balances out.

This morning I had coffee with a very dear friend of mine, Jennifer Worick. It has been ages since I last saw her and it was wonderful to catch with her life. She is finishing up a craft book that will have a project that she designed with Odessa's Herbals help. My first shout out in a book! I love it. I will keep everyone posted when the book is published.

I have been planning my road trip route to New York for next month. I have started to stock pile supplies and prepare for making candles in a new place. I will be taking my time to drive out there since I already have a long list of friends I want to visit with between Seattle and New York! I am so excited to open up my East Coast Store and start meeting with new clients.

Could not have asked for a better weekend!

This weekend was pure heaven! I spent Saturday at my favorite place on Earth. My adopted aunt Reni's house. (see above photo's)
I grew up going to her house as a child and loved it. The best part about this weekend was that she had bought another house, her weekend home, and it was right on the sound. Hence the photo of the dog in front of the water. So we went from one house to the beach house where we spent the day swimming in the Sound, drinking cocktails on her porch and just laughing. The dog in the above photo is not Ahmi but Reni's border collie Tess.

It was so great to visit and even better to go swimming. I even got cold and had to wear a hoodie later in the day! The heat wave that hit last week has just finally started to end. It is still hot but nothing like last week. I used to pride myself on being really pale but this year I am tan. It is a little bit of a shock every time I look in the mirror but I would rather spend time outside walking than being bed ridden again!

Speaking of my health, everything is GREAT! I am off all nerve medications and pain killers. I am able to do 10 hour days again and the best part? My life is truly in balance for once. I can't remember being this happy in a long time. I am truly happy and everyday something magical and exciting happens! I work, I spend time taking care of myself, I spend time with loved ones and I get to decide what I do each and everyday. My body is growing stronger everyday and I am able to return to a more normal life with every week. I feel like I am glowing from love for life. So cheesy yet so true!

I am starting to prepare for the Holiday orders which came in last week and I will be very busy this fall!

Heat Wave 09

It is HOT!

In Seattle we broke an all time record this week, 104! This has been a great experience for me. At first I was very cranky at the heat but as the temperature started rising I decided to just embrace the heat. I realized that I have been in hotter situations so decided to take this opportunity to just enjoy my time off. It has been too hot to make candles so I have been visiting with friends, going places that I have always wanted to go but never had the time, I have been reading and writing in my journal and drinking loads of water. Once I decided to stop being annoyed by the heat and enjoy myself, the heat stopped bothering me.

So even though it has been a record breaking heat wave, I have managed to have fun and enjoy my mini vacation!

My plans to open the East Coast office of Odessa's Herbals has been delayed slightly. My candles orders are increasing and I am realizing that I need a little more time to prepare for the big adventure! It will happen it just looks like it will happen a little later than I originally thought.

Of course more candle orders is a great reason to delay the road trip so I can't complain.

New energy

What felt like just a small idea with no answers has now turned into a the perfect idea where all the questions are being answered without any energy on my part. My move is quickly coming together and in a very easy manner.

This week I found out that I will have my first candle show at the end of October in Lenox, Massachusetts. I also just found out today that one of my largest customers is expanding into NYC this year. This is so great because I can deliver candles to the East Coast location along with delivering candles when I come home to Seattle every few months. I had been a little worried about the logistics of keeping my customers happy in Seattle while I expanded onto the East Coast. I have been watching all the little things coming together and this move feels very right!

I have started to plan my road trip out east. I am hoping to see friends I have not seen in years while enjoying across America. I will have my lovely dog with me so I am looking forward to stopping at all the small towns while letting Ahmi enjoy the various smells of this country. And then to get to NY right when the leaves start changing and I can pull out my Cashmere sweaters and start to prepare for the winter season.

I also can't wait to see all my friends that will be within a couple of hours to my new home. Friends from high school, college and beyond are all starting to come back and it feels so good to talk to everyone again. In fact one of my good friends who lived on the Isle of Iona in Scotland when I lived there just contacted me via Facebook! I can't wait to hear from her and find out what I missed out on 16 years later.

I have a new beginnings candle that I made when I first learned that I had the chance to move East. This candle has taken all the issues that I thought were holding me back and allowed them to clear up in a very positive way for me. I can't tell you how amazing this candle has been in cleaning up negative fears and replacing them with exciting opportunities. I highly recommend this candle and can tell you all about the wonderful new beginnings that are starting for me!

It's a small and wonderful world!

A few months ago when I was visiting the East Coast, my aunt and I went into a Borders books to find something to read. Whenever I travel I always bring at least three books but since I had just come off some of my heavy medications I under estimated how many books I would need while I vacation. Some vacations I come away with 10 books under my belt.

Anyways, I picked out a few books and saw this little gem as I started to walk out of the bookstore. I ended up buying it and LOVED it. Gumbo Tales by Sara Roahen. I noticed in the book that the author mentioned going to the same college that my sister went too. I forgot to mention it to my sister but ended up bringing the book over to her house one day to read. It turns out that the author and my sister are really good friends. My sister was so excited that I had bought the book and loved it. She had never mentioned this book to me ever so imagine how much it made me to smile knowing that my book purchase was so closely connected to my favorite person in the word. I am so happy I bought the book and now I can't wait to visit New Orleans! Maybe I can even get Sara to give me a little tour of her favorite things! Sometimes the world truly feels like a small place and there are so many connections out there to be found!

I have my craft show set up in the Berkshires for October 31st, 2009. I will provide more information as we get closer to the date. I can't wait for this show. It is going to take place in a giant mansion and will include some of the top crafts people in the Northeast. So it looks like I will arrive at my new apartment/ studio and go straight to work. I am not complaining at all. I love the idea of unpacking and starting my northeast adventure.

Also I wanted to give a heads up to all the Glassy Baby fans out there. There is a new location that is opening up this weekend in Bellevue, Washington. I must make it out to see the new shop before I leave town. I will still be making their candles so don't worry. I will be flying back to Seattle ever few months to complete their orders. It is going to be exciting to watch them grow!

Starting to pack up!

This weekend I gave notice on my studio!

It was a hard thing for me to do. There is some fear with this decision and I almost deleted the email before sending it but then I realized that I needed to do this. I need to move for a little while. I need to shake my life up as the final part of my rehab as I continue to get better. So not only have I given notice on my studio and started to pack, I am also no longer on any of the medications I had to take over the last year for pain! After a year of being on heavy medication I am finally starting to feel like myself again. It feels so good to be back to my old self.

I had so many wonderful conversations with old friends this weekend and I actually took Saturday off to just hang with some girlfriends. It felt so relaxing to just be present with my friends and not worry about pain or being sick. I laughed, we walked, we listened to music really loud and I smiled. These are all things I have not been able to do in a long time. I have now told all my friends about my departure and I am starting to work on bringing my energy towards the goal of having a success move.

I will be making candles for the next month and then there will be a three week window when Odessa's Herbals will be closed as I relocate. Sometimes when I think about moving I can't believe that I am actually doing it. I have wanted a change for so long and now..... It is happening and it is a very positive and wonderful direction for me.

Change is coming.....

A very exciting opportunity has presented itself to me and I have decided to take the leap!

Last week I was in North Carolina for my family reunion at the beach. This year there was only 77 of us, which is a small number for us. The week consists of swimming, visiting with loved ones and enjoying the heat of the South. I had so much fun and was able to relax which is a must needed feeling. Life has been very busy since my sister announced she was moving in April and I needed to help her prepare for the move. So not only have I been making candles and helping a family take care of their new baby, I have also been helping my sister take care of my nephew while trying to heal from my spine injury. Phew! It has been busy.... I am excited for my sisters move, I will miss her and my nephew but it is also very exciting since she just got a kick ass job at a certain computer company that shares a name with a piece of fruit. Yep, she is a mover and shaker. So a week at the beach was a much needed resting and relaxing vacation after months of working long days and helping many people. While at the beach the universe decided to offer me a new pathway in life.

As many of you know, this last year has been very tough on me. My physical illness kept me bed ridden for much of last year and week by week I have been working to get my normal life back on track. This has been an emotional experience on top of a already mounting amount of life lessons and lately I have just wanted to take a sabbatical from it all. Well last week I was presented with an option that feels so right to me. I am moving back East for a while to finish up my physical rehabilitation while growing my candle company and being closer to many important people in my life.

I am still working on the details but all I can say right now is that I am overjoyed with this new change! I can't wait to get into my car with Ahmi and drive to a new place. I love Seattle with all my heart but I need a serious break. I don't know if it because I associate Seattle with my spine injury and illness or what but it is time for me to leave. My energy has been stagnant here and I am the first to admit it. So right now I am keeping Oddessa's Herbals open in Seattle and will return every other month to complete orders for Glassy Baby but the head quarters of my operation will be located on the Eastern side of this country for the next year. Then.... Who knows what will happen!

I will be in the Northwest for the next two months packing and getting my affairs in order. I will also have my studio until September 1st so if there is anyone that has always wanted to visit but never did... Now is the time! I will be having a couple of candle sales before I leave and will be donating candles to local organizations before I leave. I will keep everyone updated on these events and will announce my departure date when I get closer to the day.

Anoher Month!

I can not believe how fast life is flying by. I have been so busy and I feel so bad for not updating the blog more. I have been making candles full time for the last few weeks as I prepare for another trip back east. This trip is for my family reunion. There are almost 100 of us and we meet every two years in North Carolina for a week at the beach. I can't wait to see all my cousins and bake in the warm sun!

Speaking of the warm sun, Seattle had a heat wave last week and except for making it hard to make my candles, I loved it! It is turning into a great tomato growing summer. My heirlooms are blooming and almost ready to produce little tomatoes. My back has been very happy with the warm weather and I even have a slight tan from all my walks.

So for the next month or so I will be in and out of this blog. I need to prepare for my vacation and then I will be away for two weeks. I will have loads of pictures to share when I return.

I am well

Sorry friends that it has been so long since I last posted. It has been a whirlwind of excitement around these parts lately. I had a wonderful trip back East! My back was able to make it and I felt almost no pain. I got to see so many wonderful family members and was able to experience Virginia in the Spring. It has been too long since I was in Virginia. I went to the most amazing Spa and even saw the new Star Trek movie! I went to two different old time blue grass music shows and spent a lot of time catching up with the family.

I am now back in the swing of candle making mode. Glassy Baby has been ordering up a storm lately and I could not be happier. I also have been helping some people take care of their infant baby and just adore spending time with this little gem. So to sum up my life right now... It is busy!

I have come to realize lately that I need a new intention list. I feel sort of stuck in some ways because my illness pushed me off the path that I was on. So I have been taking time to figure out what I want to do.... This has been a long process. When I have things a little more settled I will share with everyone but for right now I am in planning mode!

Northern Exposure is the Cure

Last night I had one of my rough nights. I usually wake up around 1 am and stay awake until 7 or so. I am exhausted and in pain but can not sleep. Usually these nights the only thing besides pain pills that will soothe me is Northern Exposure. I can listen to this show for hours with my eyes closed, contemplating life, my injury and Joseph Campbell. (last night episode was a discussion of the hero archetype)

So while I was awake last night I started to search the Internet about my favorite show. I am a major fan and most of the information I already know but last night I stumbled onto something new. I found out about a musician who became seriously ill and heartbroken. He retreated to Wisconsin to recover and one of the things that brought him out of his illness was Northern Exposure. He ended up naming his band after a saying from one of the shows, Bon Iver . I have never heard his music but hearing about someone who has been touched by this show in a dark period in their life made my heart flutter. Here is another person that took the dark journey of the soul, found Northern Exposure and was able to translate it into a new path in life. Also, having lived in rural Wisconsin myself during my early 20's I of course loved the fact that he watched this show while living in his father's remote cabin in Northern Wisconsin!

I hope to one day to meet Justin and be able to express to him how Northern Exposure helped me while I was bed ridden for a year and also suffering from a broken heart the year before that. It has been my lifeline in so many ways and I am so excited to hear of other creative people that are as moved by the characters, story and just overall sense of community that was developed in this show. Plus in my fantasy life, Justin will turn out to be as interesting as Chris in the morning. ( but alas, I know this may not be true!)

But I will just settle to at least meet another Northern Exposure fan who can tell me about their impressions and favorite episodes!

Booked a flight back East

I just booked my first flight back to the East Coast since my injury! I am so excited to get out of town for a few days and see my family. I have been craving Virginia and the summertime green for the last few months and I can't wait to experience it.

I am a little worried about the trip and the flight but I just need to remember to take it slow. Everyday will be a challenge but I just keep reminding myself to cut it down to one or two activities a day and I should be ok. If I try to do too much I will hurt myself but if I take it slow then I should not feel any different than when I am at home.

I have two things planned already. First my Aunt and older cousins and I are going to go the World Spa. It is a Korean day spa like the one we have in Seattle, Olympus Spa. I can't wait to experience a new spa! Then on Saturday I will be going to a bluegrass showcase with my stepfather. I am also hoping that we will have a BBQ on Sunday for all my cousins that live in the town I am going to visit. So that's pretty much my whole vacation already planned. I have one day on each end of the trip to rest and as long as I don't fall in the shower again.... I should be good to go.
This weekend has been a wonderful warm spring weekend! I spent yesterday afternoon with Ahmi at the dog beach in north Seattle. Today I read a book with the animals on the porch. Tomorrow it is back to candle making and Dr appointments but for this evening I can relax a little.

Painful realization

What happens when you have lost faith in someone you love?

I am suffering from this dilemma currently. It is a family relation and feels so much more painful than anything I have ever experienced before. I know I must speak my truth about the situation but right now, I am unable to speak. I am taking time and really working on understanding my feelings. This situation runs so much deeper than just the surface decision that was made. This situation has pierced me to the core of what I thought was a blood bond that would never be broken. And yet, six years later.... I am in pieces and have no more to give. I tried to remain quiet and helped as much as I could but in the end I have ignored myself and suffered from my own actions.

I have been very busy in the studio making candles and just being compassionate towards myself. I read Alice Hoffman's book "The Third Angel" . It was beautiful. I was not able to related it to my current situation and it was not as magic filled as some of her past books but I cherished it and stayed up one night reading it all night long. I am about to start "The Laws of Harmony" by Judith Ryan Hendricks.

One interesting note is that Blue Herons have come into my life in a way that has never happened before. They are every where I look lately. From books to car rides to the park up the street from my house. I am working on trying to understand why this animal that has never been around me before has suddenly appeared in the last week more than it ever has in my whole life.

Books always heal the pain

This week has been a roller coaster.
My road trip was wonderful! I really enjoyed all the time we spent at various spa's over the weekend and I feel healthier than I have in a long time. The first day we spent almost 4 hours sitting in hot salt water pools that were located outside while looking at the mountains. My skin still feels amazing! We ate veggies and hummus and I had an intense fruit drink with cactus and mint. The rest of the weekend stayed on pretty much the same high note with the best part of the weekend being visiting with our high school English teachers that now live in Ellensburg. I love this family so much and in many ways it was like a family reunion. I can't wait to go back and visit with them soon. It's amazing how important people from this era of your life turn out to be in who you develop into. I have so much to thank these two for.

But then I returned home to some news that still has me crying. I am not allowed to talk about it yet but let's just say.... My heart has never hurt this much in my entire life. I spent all day today in a daze of tears, stomach aches, headaches mixed with fear and sadness. Just when I was finally starting to feel better and think that life may return to normal. I know this is just another life test/ lesson but come on..... I feel like I have had enough lessons for awhile!

So in many ways I feel like now I am back to the drawing board in life. I am trying so hard to stay in the present moment because this is where my sadness is in a dosage I can handle but it's still hard. I spent the day in the studio making tea lights for Glassy Baby and just focusing on candle making. Trying to think of nothing else but candle making. And then I went to the bookstore and found two new books that warmed my heart. Both are works of fiction and as soon as I am done I will tell everyone about them. But until then I will be making candles and trying to soothe my heart in books. I hope to find some life lessons amongst the words and stories. We shall see......

Getting Ready

It has been a busy last few days. I stopped taking my nerve blocker medication this week and so far things are returning back to normal. The pain has not returned and I am starting to feel like my old self. My energy level is returning everyday little by little and my brain is starting to clear up. Turns out that you need nerve signals if you want to think, move or I don't know... Do anything besides sleep. I am just so happy to have energy again and feel excited about the future.

I am preparing for my spa weekend and today I have a million things to do! I made this plan over a month ago and now I am a mixed bag of excitement. One the on hand I can't wait to get out of town but on the other hand, I feel like I am still recovering and leaving town might make me exhausted. But I have a friend going with me who can drive a little bit of the way and a spa weekend is supposed to be relaxing right?

Last night my friend Adam took with me to screen the new movie "I Love You, Man". What a hilarious movie! I loved it. It was much funnier than the last few Paul Rudd movies. I laugh all the time in life but rarely at movies. If I laugh at something it has to be really funny and let me tell you what.... I laughed at this movie over 7 times which might be a record. I love to laugh and find life really funny. People that can make me laugh have my heart for life. The other great part of last night was the fact that I was able to sit for two hours. This is the longest stretch of time that I have sat down in almost a year. Today I am just a little sore but nothing compared to what I experienced in the past. So life is returning to normal and I am so grateful for my health, my life and this world.

Spring Cleaning!

Another round of spring cleaning today! The sun is out and the windows are open for now. Of course it has been very cold here but at least the sun is out and spring is just around the corner.

Besides cleaning my house, I am working on spring cleaning my intentions and thoughts. Now that most of my pain is gone and my health is returning I am working on trying to figure out what to do next in life. Maybe move to the country or the east coast? Maybe stay in Seattle but look for a house? Maybe move to the desert? All I know is that my old life and they way I used to do things are now over. I must live a very different life and I am still not sure what that life looks like. So until I have a clue I will just keep cleaning my studio and cleaning my space. I will clean my life out emotionally and physically and just keep working towards the next phase in life.

I have a long weekend of candle making and I am really looking forward to my warm studio!

Boys do cry

Many, many years ago I put up a poster that I thought was beautiful. Actually it was the poster above. I was a teenager and emotions were everywhere. I had this poster on my wall until today. Today I realized what a sad and depressing poster this truly is. Men and boys do cry and that's OK with me. I think it is important for men to feel emotions. Plus, here is a poster of a man with his back towards the camera that is alone. This are all feelings and statements that I no longer share with this poster. I do not want my back to be towards the world nor do I want to be alone. I want to live in a much warmer and more welcoming world that this poster represents.

So today I took down the poster. I am going to start looking for photographs to replace it. My family has been posting wonderful pictures of all our reunions on facebook so maybe I will print some of those out and place them on my walls. I have also been journeying into treasure maps so I will post some of those on my walls again. Change is in the air and I am excited to start releasing the past and living in the moment.

This present moment is no longer about standing with my back to the world and people. It is about opening my arms and welcoming in love and peace.

Forever learning

Just when my brain starts to wake up my body will start to shut down. I feel like I am forever learning and just spinning around and around. Lessons are long and painful right now. I must live a slower life than this big city will allow. Do I really need to be going out all the time or is it just my ego that demands all that activity? And why has my ego been punishing me lately for trying to heal?

Lately it has been a struggle but when I really start to think about slowing down and just being present in the moment... I am filled with calm. So I guess I do not have much choice but to keep going at a very slow pace and just start to ignore my ego.

I am off on a road trip in a few weeks. It will be a very short road trip but since it is the first time in almost a year that I have left Seattle, I am excited! I can not provide the details since my traveling partner does not know what I have planned but let me just say that I should return super relaxed and very happy!

In other good news I have been creating new candles and experimenting with new colors. I created an attraction candle, a positive money energy candle, a center candle and many more! I am very excited to be creating new candles.

So this week I am in battle with my ego and trying to understand how to balance all of the desires I have.

Turning around

These last few weeks have been very challenging!
My emotions which are usually very calm have been all over the place. I know this is part of my injury recovery process but I call "UNCLE!" I can not handle being this upset because life has changed so much. This summer I could see the positive outcome because I was so ill that I was on drugs as well as just wanting the pain to end. Now I am cranky that I lost a year in my life, a year in the life of my company, I am cranky that my energy level is still really low. I am cranky that I have been unable to travel and that I can barely stay awake past 6 o'clock at night. I am cranky that my once full networking life has almost disappeared and I am cranky that Magnolia is so far away from the rest of the world.

And yet, as I list these words I realize that it is all part of the process and I must embrace that sometimes life takes a different path than I expected. I like to detour in life and this is just one of those times.

It is still hard to accept but I am slowly turning my grumpy mind around. I am happy the days are getting longer and that some day's the sun has been shinning. I am happy that I have an amazing family and circle of friends. I am also very grateful that it feels like when I need something in life to make me think a different way, the universe has a way of making this something show up. Sometimes what causes me to pause and take stock is a book, a few kind words from a friend or a movie among other things. So today I am going to be grateful for my situation and look towards the future. I need a new list of intentions!

Sunday Walking

I am trying to work up the body heat to go outside for my Sunday afternoon walk. It is a bit chilly outside for my tastes but I have my walking partner showing up any minute and he wants to walk to I am trying to prepare. This week was another off week. While my health is getting better, I am still finding it slow to return to normal. I know the doctor said it would take a year and I am way better then I was but COME ON!

Ok enough whining. I am getting better and I need to just slow down enough to realize that taking a year off is not such a bad thing. Plus this week it meant spending the week with my nephew while his nanny was sick. We had so much fun! We took long walks in the park, we watched the construction men working with their diggers, we walked a lot and we got to take some naps together. That's the amazing thing about my life as I am in the midst of recovering. I actually really get to enjoy my time and my life!

So this week I will be making up time in my studio. I am so excited to get back to candle making and creating new candles. I missed being in my studio last week. I was happy to be with Dylan but missed my life in my creative space. In other great news, I have lost 4 pant sizes! I am trying to figure out how this happened and I am still in shock over it but when I went to buy a new pair of pants today I was 4 sizes smaller than I once was. I feel like a child wearing adult clothing. I am swimming in all my old clothes but am not ready to buy new clothes since I have a feeling I will be going down even more sizes. It is nice to start to have my old body back! A lot of my sickness over the last few years and medication caused my to gain A LOT of weight but now I am getting my early 20's body back. Of course it looks a little different but I am just happy to be returning to health!

I wish I had more exciting news but these last few weeks have been very quiet and calm. I think this is a good thing.

Ps. This is my lovely cat that adores how much time I am now home during the day. This is her staring at me in the morning to wake up and feed her!

Waking up to Snow

This morning I could not figure out why my sister was asking if I could come hangout with my nephew. I asked her about his school and all she said was the school is closed. To my spaced out - just woke up brain this made no sense. Of course as soon as I got out of bed and looked out the window I realized why his school had been closed. Last night it snowed! It snowed in the middle of February. It snowed after a week of semi warm weather that allowed hours of walks last week. SNOW?

It was not so bad because the sun ended up coming out to play but it was still a little colder than I like. I am now sitting in my bedroom with a heating pad wrapped around my back. I am still having issues with body temperature and the winter. My back is so fragile now it can not get cold or it will freeze up and cause walking to become almost impossible.

The next area of my cleaning plan is internal. I have cleaned my studio, my bedroom and now I must turn inwards. I have started to increase my fruits, veggies and vitamins in my daily living. I am drinking more than enough water and I have started to detox off my pain medication. I feel like I am starting to gain some control back over my body. Which after a year of my body almost completely breaking down, it is nice to have my health coming back. It was a hard weekend while I tried to get over the detox hump left by the pain medication I have been taking for almost a year. I think I took 10 baths while turning the heat up as high as I could. I thought it would help to sweat out the toxins. I ate apples, bananas and avocados hoping these would help the horrible flu like feeling I had all weekend. I had a "why me" pity party! For the first time since I got sick, I was depressed over it. I usually can get my mind out of the gutter when it comes to my illness but this weekend I was stuck. I thought of all the changes and all the time I have missed while I have been healing. I read blogs of ladies that work all the time on their companies and I get jealous. I felt like I was stuck in a bog. It was a terrible weekend. But finally, this morning I woke up and feel so much better. I think I am finally getting the junk out of my system. I have turned a corner and I am very thankful for this. Detoxing off medications is very hard on the body and mind. I hope to never experience this kind of feeling again.

So hopefully the warm weather will return and I will keep drinking my new favorite smoothies while cleaning out my system and becoming pain free!

Back on the plan

A couple of posts ago I mentioned my three month health plan I had started. After falling off the wagon last week, I am happy to announce that I am back on the plan.

This weekend I participated in Spring Cleaning! I threw out garage, I donated many items and I let go of a lot of items from my past. It felt so good to clean, organize and release. I fully believe that letting go of items that no longer serve you will open up space for new energy to move in. So expect to read some pretty amazing posts in the next few weeks! There is a lot of space now for new and exciting things to happen.

This week I will be returning to the Pool after three weeks of resting. Doctors orders! But I am excited to get back into the pool. I will be taking it slow for the first week but watch out! By next week I will be in the deep end. After the pool I will be in the studio until this evening. I am so happy to be back on my normal schedule. Last month in many ways I fell off the health wagon but when I woke up this morning I realized that I am back on track. I also realized it is ok to fall off the wagon for a while but you have to get back on the wagon as soon as possible. So I am back on my health plan with a clean room, a clean studio and soon a clean body!

Back in the Studio

Today I spent the day making tea lights. It was lovely, warm and calm inside my studio. I had a good rhythm in every step of the process and I even managed to make a couple of the new love candles in glass containers.

This week I am having some ladies over for a night on intention setting and candle making. I am so excited about this evening. I am going to buy loads of apples, chocolates, cheese and a bottle of apple cider. I am off of drinking right now due to my medications for my spine. However, my lovely lady friends can drink all they want! Working on intentions with groups of people is a very powerful way to let the universe know you are serious about what you want to create. I am excited to join these ladies in expressing what I intend to create this year.

Taking care of my body

I wish I had more exciting news but I have been taking it easy lately. I am still busy in the studio and getting out to see friends but I have just been taking it easy.

This week has been busy at night for me. I attended a private party for the cast of the new show Memphis that is opening here in Seattle soon. It was a wonderful and friendly party! I saw old friends and met new ones while sampling some southern BBQ made by JJ McKay! Tonight is a Chinese new year part at my friend Wendy's company. She has a wonderful design studio and I adore Wendy and her husband Todd. I met Wendy when I was doing TV production in 2003. Wendy has a dog named Fisher. Fisher is a very smart border collie and my dog Ahmi is in love with Fisher. They would play at the office as if it was doggy daycare. After a couple of wrestling matches, Ahmi was banned from coming into the office and Fisher was left to entertain himself! I can't wait to see Quesinberry and Associates new office!

This week marked the Chinese New Year. I do not know too much about this holiday but I was talking with a friend last week who said that setting intentions before the new year (ie. last week) was a great way for a fresh start. I set some intentions and have watched over the last few days a lot of things change for the better. I am excited to share these stories as I move a little further away from the experiences and can talk about them in a more neutral way. But one great thing is I have noticed how issues that used to be emotional or upsetting are now calmer and I can approach them from a larger view point. What once upset me now seems a direct message or opportunity from the Universe to see the situation from a broader perspective and make new choices.

I am off to make more love candles and tea lights for Glassy Baby. I had a wonderful conversation with someone new who was telling me how amazing the tea lights from Glassy Baby were. She had no idea I made them. She was so happy to have found a tea light that lasts 6 hours and were made from Soywax. When I told her these candles were all handmade by me, she could not believe that not only did my company make them but that they were handmade by me! I can not wait to introduce her to my pillars and other new candles I have in the works.

Another magical day

It has been three days since I started my new healing adventure and I am already being tested. Friday my bathing suit fell apart while I was in the pool. This gave me a lovely excuse to stop swimming but I met with determination and I now have three suits arriving this week. I physical have to swim and there is nothing that can stop me now.

Then someone from my past came back. This is not a good nor bad thing. It is just a choice I must make between moving forward and deciding if I want to bring the past back while moving forward. I am taking my time to figure out what I truly want. I am no longer the same person I was before my illness. I know this may sound strange but when someone gets really sick and helpless, it is almost like a rebirth. Life changes after that moment. The world and your space in it becomes a bigger question.

So already the universe is testing me. I am facing issues and realizing that I am now approaching things differently. This is actually a really exciting place for me. I can see changes happening and wonder how things will unfold. Plus I am really excited for my new bathing suits and this maybe the first time I have ever been exciting about a bathing suit!